Track 6: Waste Mismanagement

• SPEAKER_00: Hello. Hello, this is Gilligan with Waste Management. Waste management?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yes, ma'am. The next time we come out for collection, we need you to have a list of everything that's into recycling bin, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_00: We're not your customer. We're an umbrella organization, ma'am. They all report to us.
  
• SPEAKER_05: So, best, whatever it is, best way or whatever it is, they work under you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yes, ma'am. So the next time we come out to...
  
• SPEAKER_00: collect, just have an inventory.
  
• SPEAKER_05: And I'm not going to answer nothing to you unless they call me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hello.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this is Roscoe with Waste Management calling.
  
• SPEAKER_00: For our next pickup, we need you to label all the content of your recycling bin.
  
• SPEAKER_03: That just sounds lovely.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Just get some graph paper and mark down your peanut butter, cupcakes, coffee grounds, things of that nature, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay. Well, would you take some graph paper and measure your penis with it?
  
• SPEAKER_00: for me? I'm not sure how to contact you directly, ma'am. The gentleman of the
  
• SPEAKER_03: house is who I was supposed to speak to. Well, I thought, well, hello, I'll answer the phone now,
  
• SPEAKER_03: and maybe lay some Southern charm on you and see if maybe we could take that grass paper
  
• SPEAKER_03: you told me to go by and lay your penis on it and measure it for me. And I'll measure it my coffee
  
• SPEAKER_01: grounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hello? This is Gilligan with waste management. We're not with waste management.
  
• SPEAKER_00: We're the umbrella organization. They all report to us. We need you to have an inventory of
  
• SPEAKER_00: all your recyclables. Just go ahead and attach it to your bin the next time we come out for
  
• SPEAKER_01: collection, okay? It's a new policy. What bins? Are you guys going to supply bins or what?
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, the existing bins you've already got. Well, I don't understand what you want, you know? You want
  
• SPEAKER_00: us to do work that we're paying them to do? You have to make a list of everything that you put in the
  
• SPEAKER_00: bin. Well, it sounds like you're kidding me. Okay. If you don't want to participate,
  
• SPEAKER_00: you'll have an interruption of service for four weeks. Are you guys going to reimburse me
  
• SPEAKER_01: that four weeks of pay that I pay up front?
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, sir. Well, you should.
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, sir. We're trying to get ready. We're going through a metamorphosis here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: So we need you to get with the program a little bit.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh, you need to get with the program and send everybody a letter and letting them know ahead of time what's going on.
  
• SPEAKER_00: We sent you a postcard, but you didn't reply.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I didn't see no postcard.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I hear that all day long.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Why don't you get some graph paper and make a list of all your stuff?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why don't you mail me some graph paper and I'll make a list.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's your responsibility.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, why is it my responsibility if I'm paying your trust?
  
• SPEAKER_01: company to pick up my trash, and now you want me to get graph paper and this and that.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Doesn't make any sense to me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: It's a new policy, sir. Why don't you just...
  
• SPEAKER_00: I never heard of no new policy.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're hearing about it right now, aren't you? Why don't you turn up your phone if you don't hear me?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't believe a word you're saying. And quit calling December.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're not going to get any service for a month.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Don't be threatening us that we're not going to get any service. What's your name?
  
• SPEAKER_01: And let me have your direct line and your boss's number?
  
• SPEAKER_00: It's a promise, not a threat. My name's Gilligan, sir, with Waste Management.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Gilligan, what? What's your last name?
  
• SPEAKER_00: So, okay, and I've been here for 16 months on the job.
  
• SPEAKER_01: That's not a whole lot of time to be on the job.
  
• SPEAKER_00: So I know exactly what I'm doing.
  
• SPEAKER_01: All right, I'm going to go ahead and look you up on the web and see what's going on here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm going to look you over and see if we want to even have you as a customer.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Don't be calling your customers.
  
• SPEAKER_01: We're the ones that keep their business open, and over here you're trying to threaten us.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're not going to have any business with us if you keep this up.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Keep what up?
  
• SPEAKER_00: So you've got to comply with us. Do you understand?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Let me call my trash company and see what's going on.
  
• SPEAKER_00: on.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Yes, Jeff.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this is Palmer with Waste Management.
  
• SPEAKER_00: For your next collection, we need you to put a list of everything inside your recycling, okay,
  
• SPEAKER_00: and just attach that to your receptacle.
  
• SPEAKER_02: What?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so like coffee grounds, times one, milk carton, times three, that kind of thing.
  
• SPEAKER_02: You're kidding me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, sir, it's a new policy.
  
• SPEAKER_00: We sent you a postcard, but no one replied.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, I never got it.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Well, I would like.
  
• SPEAKER_02: my recycling discontinued that if I have to make a list.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, and there's a penalty for that, too. $77.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Well, then I just won't put recycling out. I'll put it all my trash.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, it goes for trash as well. You need to get graph paper and make a detailed list of contents, all right?
  
• SPEAKER_02: Can you send me something via email so I can take it to the city and tell them that I think this is
  
• SPEAKER_02: horseshit? I'm not going to make a list of what I put in my trash every week.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Why? Because I'm not going to.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Are you ashamed of the products inside?
  
• SPEAKER_02: No, I'm just, I don't want to. I don't want to.
  
• SPEAKER_02: take the time to make a list of what I'm putting in my trash. That's ridiculous.
  
• SPEAKER_00: We're getting ready for the 22nd century, sir. Are you?
  
• SPEAKER_02: Can you give me a number I can call you back at and so I can speak to your supervisor?
  
• SPEAKER_02: Why? Because I asked for it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Okay, but can you give me a reason? Because I'm telling you what we need.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Because I want to talk to your supervisor about your 22nd century comment.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Okay, but first I want to let you know if you don't want to participate, you will have an
  
• SPEAKER_00: interruption of service for five weeks.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Okay, so can you tell me the name of your supervisor and send me that phone number?
  
• SPEAKER_00: He doesn't give out his phone number.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Okay, well then, I am not going to comply with that, and I never got a postcard.
  
• SPEAKER_02: And until I get a postcard, it doesn't mean anything, and I'm not going to deal with it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Okay, then if you don't want to participate it as a $77 penalty, so we can take a visa or master charge.
  
• SPEAKER_02: So you mean to tell me your driver is going to look at a list.
  
• SPEAKER_02: of what goes in my trash.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Correct.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Oh, right.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Come on.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Yes, can I help you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yes, sir, this is Palmer with Waste Management.
  
• SPEAKER_00: We need a credit card number for your $77.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Hey, Palmer, Palmer, I'm not going to give you a credit card number.
  
• SPEAKER_02: You think I was born on a turnip truck today?
  
• SPEAKER_02: Get lost. I'm not giving you a credit card number.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What are you ashamed of the stuff inside your receptacle?
  
• SPEAKER_02: Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, don't.
  
• SPEAKER_02: call me back. Don't call me back. No way.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Good afternoon. This is Ray.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hi, this is Gilligan with Waste Management calling.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Can I help you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Ma'am, on your next collection, we need you to have a list of all the items inside your recycling bin.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Do you understand that?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Do you understand I don't have an account with waste management, so you're wasting your freaking time?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Ma'am, when we come for collection, just have a list of everything inside your recycling bin, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_00: It's a new policy.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't have an account. Do you understand that? Nothing belongs to me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: We're the umbrella organization. They all report to us.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't care. I live with somebody else. Any accounts would be under their name. Please call that person.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Just put down pudding cup times four, panty hose times one, that kind of thing. Do you understand that?
  
• SPEAKER_06: No, I, they're fucking not. You idiot, none of us wear panty hose. You have a mistake. And if you call me back again, I'm going to record your number and report you.
  
• SPEAKER_06: you understand that? Where's your supervisor, buddy?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Ma'am, if you don't want to participate, you may have an interruption in service. I just want you to
  
• SPEAKER_06: understand that. I am explaining to you. I have no service. You have the wrong number. What part of
  
• SPEAKER_06: that is you're misunderstanding here. I don't have an account with you. I live with somebody else. He does
  
• SPEAKER_06: not wear a pantyhose, and none of us he put in with both lactose intolerance. You have the wrong
  
• SPEAKER_06: person. I don't know how to explain at you. Any clearer.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Just get some graph paper and make a lot.
  
• SPEAKER_06: list. Why do you people keep calling somebody who doesn't have a waste management account?
  
• SPEAKER_06: You have the wrong number. See, this is calling me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Are you embarrassed by the items in your bin?
  
• SPEAKER_06: First of all, I don't even have a bin, you dumb fucking piece of shit. Stop falling.