wallace-thrasher

Longmont Potion Castle 5 (2005)

Track 2: UPS Freakout 1

SPEAKER_01: Hello?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I could talk to your husband.
SPEAKER_01: Who is this, please?
SPEAKER_00: This is Bernard.
SPEAKER_01: Bernard. And what's this regarding?
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I think he just spoke to my boy.
SPEAKER_00: A few minutes ago, you need to talk.
SPEAKER_01: No, what is this regarding?
SPEAKER_00: I think he just spoke to my son on the phone a few middle school ma'am.
SPEAKER_01: If he's talking about a C-Fuel package, COD, it doesn't belong to us.
SPEAKER_00: Well, I think...
SPEAKER_01: And he wasn't rude to your son because I was laying on the couch listening to him.
SPEAKER_01: He just said, bring it on by, and he would look at it.
SPEAKER_01: We're not coming out.
SPEAKER_01: of our home for something that's not coming to us.
SPEAKER_00: I think you guys need to reevaluate or your...
SPEAKER_01: I think that I will call the police if you continue to harass me because I don't understand why you're bothering me.
SPEAKER_00: You've done nothing.
SPEAKER_00: It's a COD $842.
SPEAKER_01: I don't have a COD coming to me, sir, for nothing.
SPEAKER_01: Your son told me $25, so I don't know what he said...
SPEAKER_00: It's a 9,600-gallon tank of squid.
SPEAKER_01: You did not order a 9600 gallon of squid, thank you.
SPEAKER_01: Have enough way.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this is Bernard over a United Parcel.
SPEAKER_00: What's here to be the trouble here?
SPEAKER_00: United Parcel?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Fuck you. Drop dead.
SPEAKER_00: I think that you need to reevaluate your guys' position.
SPEAKER_00: I think you need to come over here so I can kick your ass.
SPEAKER_00: This is a $920 COD delivery.
SPEAKER_00: Good. You bring it on over here.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, we'll be there in 10 to 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_00: That's a good idea. You bring it on over here and I'll have the cops here and meet you.
SPEAKER_00: We need certified funds today.
SPEAKER_00: You bring it.
None: Hello?
SPEAKER_00: This is Curtis. A UPS calling?
SPEAKER_01: Okay, look, you know, we're having a car with you guys.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not with me.
SPEAKER_01: With somebody from UPS. I didn't order anything.
SPEAKER_01: You got the wrong number.
SPEAKER_00: No, it's got yesterday's date on it.
SPEAKER_01: I didn't order anything from UPS.
SPEAKER_00: Well, we're on our way, and it's 227, 227 is due on the shipment.
SPEAKER_01: No, I did not order it.
SPEAKER_01: and I'm going to have, if you don't give me a number or your last name or who you work for,
SPEAKER_01: I'm calling the police and having a report filed.
SPEAKER_01: I went through this before with you people.
SPEAKER_01: I'm not playing this game the second time.
SPEAKER_00: I do see a flag here on your account, meaning that you have been problematic.
SPEAKER_01: Give me your name.
SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't...
SPEAKER_01: Give me your last name, Curtis.
SPEAKER_01: Give me a last name.
SPEAKER_01: Don't make me call the police and have this phone traced.
SPEAKER_01: I will put a tap on it.
SPEAKER_01: I played this game.
SPEAKER_01: once before. I am not in the mood for it today.
SPEAKER_00: Lady, come and get me.
SPEAKER_01: Listen to me, sir. Give me your fucking last name.
SPEAKER_01: Nala.
SPEAKER_00: Give me your phone number.
SPEAKER_00: It's 1-800 pickups. You've probably seen it a thousand times.
SPEAKER_01: Right. Bullshit. You know why? Because I call that number and it's not real.
SPEAKER_01: It's not real number.
SPEAKER_00: One 800 PIC UPS. 1-800.
SPEAKER_01: No, I've called that.
SPEAKER_01: I've called that.
SPEAKER_01: I don't believe you.
SPEAKER_00: 25.
SPEAKER_01: Say it again?
SPEAKER_00: 877.
SPEAKER_01: Give me the number again.
SPEAKER_00: I've already stated it.
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't hear you.
SPEAKER_01: We're on our way.
SPEAKER_00: We need about 20 minutes, but we need a check for 2.27.
SPEAKER_01: Not going to get it.
SPEAKER_00: Prepared.
SPEAKER_01: Not going to get it.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
SPEAKER_01: Not going to get it.
SPEAKER_01: I don't believe you.
SPEAKER_01: I did not order anything.
SPEAKER_01: You were calling the wrong house.
SPEAKER_01: You're calling the wrong number.
SPEAKER_01: It's a different house, different number.
SPEAKER_01: If you call me again or if you come by my home, I will have the police arrive.
SPEAKER_00: We'll be there in 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_01: Fine.
SPEAKER_00: I'll have the police here waiting for you.
SPEAKER_00: We'll have a 416-pound squid as in a tank.
SPEAKER_01: I've already.
SPEAKER_01: Everybody dealt with the squid shit before with you, people, do not start it again.
SPEAKER_01: I will call the police and have this done.
SPEAKER_01: I will have this done.
SPEAKER_01: I don't care if you gave me a false name.
SPEAKER_01: I will use it.
SPEAKER_01: I'll have them tap my phone.
SPEAKER_01: I'm not in the moose of this game.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, I have too much going on in my life to fucking play games.
SPEAKER_01: Don't be playing this game again.
SPEAKER_01: Do not call this number again.
SPEAKER_01: Hello?
SPEAKER_00: Uh, ma'am, that's, yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_00: We've got flags on your account now.
SPEAKER_01: Do not call this number.
SPEAKER_01: We're signifying you as a problem.
SPEAKER_00: We're signifying you as a problem.
SPEAKER_01: customer.
SPEAKER_01: Do not call this account again.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
SPEAKER_00: Yes, this is Bernard.
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
SPEAKER_00: Okay, you have been flagged as problematic.
SPEAKER_00: I'm fucking dead.
SPEAKER_00: Why don't you come over here and talk to me?
SPEAKER_00: We'll be there in 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_00: I'm waiting for you, cocksucker.