Track 18: UPS Flipout

• SPEAKER_00: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_00: This is Dick calling from UPS.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hey, I've been trying to bring a box to your place there for the last three days,
  
• SPEAKER_00: but you guys are making so much noise.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You don't hear me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: There's nobody in the house between 8 and 4.
  
• SPEAKER_00: When UPS comes to the door, you best listen up.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Do you understand?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't know what you're talking about.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't know who fit the box or what.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Listen up here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: When you tell me to listen up, that's what you shut me out.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I need a credit card payment.
  
• SPEAKER_00: this thing, COD, $242.
  
• SPEAKER_01: $242.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Just return it, because I don't know what that is.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Return it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Not an option.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What is this?
  
• SPEAKER_00: It's outrageous.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You don't know who I am.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You don't know anything about it.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Return it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Not an option.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, then what do you want me to do?
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's not my boss.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Read me your credit card number and I'll just leave it by your door.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to give you my credit card number because it's not my boss.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I didn't know what you can't even tell me what it is.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So how am I supposed to know what I'm paying?
  
• SPEAKER_01: for?
  
• SPEAKER_00: It's from goosepuss.com.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Goose purge?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't even know what that is.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, it's none of my concern.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why isn't it?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why isn't it?
  
• SPEAKER_01: We're returnable.
  
• SPEAKER_00: It's company policy, miss.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I was with you PS.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I won't put you PS.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You get to return it.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: So those parties can I return it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You drag us out there three times in the pouring rain and then you say you don't want it?
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, it's a little late for that.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, no, no.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I've never ordered anything from there, so I don't know what you're talking about.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I hear that every day.
  
• SPEAKER_01: 242. Okay, this is the first time I've ever heard of this company, who's curse?
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's the first time I've ever heard from you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And he's calling me and telling me that I'm outrageous, but disrespecting me, don't, don't talk to me like that.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You don't know who I am, okay? You don't know anything about it, or you could just spit me like that.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's your name again?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Dick.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Dick? Okay, what? Listen, Dick. You don't know me?
  
• SPEAKER_01: This is just disfitting me like that, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: If there's nobody there in time packets, then you know what?
  
• SPEAKER_01: You can we turn it back. Nobody talks to me like that.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Just read the credit card number.
  
• SPEAKER_00: and I'll leave it at your door.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh, no, I'm not going to give you a credit card, because I don't know what to hire you should be at $242.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Goosepuss.com.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What is goose pursed on?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't even know what that is.
  
• SPEAKER_01: How do you know somebody did it or something about a card?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because I lost a card, I want that.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're full of excuses.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not following excuses.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because I'm telling you that I did not order anything from there.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Obviously, it's the first time I ever heard you, yes, disrespect somebody's it this way, ever.
  
• None: Ever.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I know the manager. I know them all.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Don't tell me that you can't ever turn the box.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's not an option. Yes, it is an option.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because I did not order anything to be from there.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're in fantasy land, lady.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay. What's your last name?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Dick what?
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, no.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, no, no. I'm not serious. What's your death name?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Dick? No, no.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Dick, no, no.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Dick what?
  
• None: Dick what?
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, no.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, no, no. Don't talk to me like that. I'm asking you. What's your name?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because you know you're doing wrong.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'll go back and I'll talk to a main manager. I'll call the original manager
  
• SPEAKER_01: and I'll talk to him.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'll tell my God they're really just to spend a whole call.
  
• SPEAKER_01: This is the first I've heard of it.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You guys are obnoxious.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You don't know me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I mean, I didn't have fancy to them.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I think what you make.
  
• SPEAKER_01: They don't know who you're talking to, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Just relax.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Relax.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You should return that box.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And there's not even about the boss of money.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's about the way you're talking to me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: The way you're talking to me, like I owe you?
  
• SPEAKER_01: No.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't know you anything, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't know anybody anything that I don't know what the hell it is.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You can't tell me anything else.
  
• SPEAKER_01: They can't tell me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: can't return and you cannot tell me he's going to have to pay for it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: $242.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Even.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, I don't mind if $1.452 dollars, believe me, I don't have the money.
  
• SPEAKER_01: But don't talk to me like that.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to keep you the credit if I'd have somebody else call me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You need to turn around, go home, wait by the door, and listen up.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not going to turn around.
  
• SPEAKER_01: This is a sucker, I'm not going to turn around because you know what?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because you say so?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because you pay so.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm supposed to skip my job and don't pick up a Twitter and $242.4 box.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I have no idea what it is.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, I don't know who would have ordered it.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And you're telling me I'm turning around?
  
• SPEAKER_01: You need to be in front to see lying.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because you know what?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I have a lie.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Besides, waiting for UPS for something to deliver that I did not order.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Right now, I'm not going to turn around and go home and think of a stupid boss of $242 that I did not order.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Just read me the credit card number.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to read you know about that credit card number.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Have somebody else call me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: That's how to talk to me like I'm going to damn you and me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because you have obviously a big customer service call.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Huge customer service problem.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I need to touch somebody else.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because this is bullshit.
  
• SPEAKER_01: That you piss me off.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to hear around and go back home,
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't just to go pick up a spurt because you said so.
  
• SPEAKER_01: This is bullshit.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Don't talk shit about my house.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Don't talk smack about anything about my life.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You don't know me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You don't know anything about me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm telling you, I'm not that fucking read your, my card number.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Do you not get it?
  
• SPEAKER_01: How am I going to keep me my car number over the flight?
  
• SPEAKER_01: You have retarded?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Who are the last night on your UPS?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Lady, go home.
  
• SPEAKER_00: home, wait for my call.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, fucker. Listen, you shut the fuck up and missin' nothing.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm getting me fucking pissed off, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: And I'm not in the way to listen to you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: How do I know you, UPS?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Because I worked here for 12 years, that's how.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, oh, oh, it's okay, and I'm psyched.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm supposed to know that.
  
• SPEAKER_01: That's the fact.
  
• SPEAKER_01: The fact is that you, I'm supposed to know that.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I've pulled with the UPS for 10 years,
  
• SPEAKER_01: and nobody's ever asked you for a credit card unless I call them.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, you're calling me, asking me for a credit card for $2 for $2.
  
• SPEAKER_01: That I don't know nothing about.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And I'm supposed to be.
  
• SPEAKER_01: you my credit card number, if you got retarded,
  
• SPEAKER_01: so if you're the retarded one,
  
• SPEAKER_01: because if you can see what credit card numbers over your phone
  
• SPEAKER_01: without knowing if they are your kids or not,
  
• SPEAKER_01: then you're the retarded one, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's like you can meet me and your
  
• SPEAKER_01: my social security number over the phone.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's not going to happen.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So if you want me to get a credit card number,
  
• SPEAKER_01: you have somebody else call me
  
• SPEAKER_01: that can't buy that you are UPS.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Give me your last name
  
• SPEAKER_01: or all things that are going to get very ugly, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm telling you that right now, because UPS
  
• SPEAKER_01: every day and they drop off and they drop off
  
• SPEAKER_01: and they pick up and drop off.
  
• SPEAKER_01: But I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What's the expiration date on your visa?
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, I don't think so.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't think so.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're all retarded.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You are retarded.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're going to get my credit card.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Jesus Christ, are you stupid?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Are you stupid?
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're out to be anything like my credit card or my phone?
  
• SPEAKER_01: How many stupid people do you get to do that for you?
  
• SPEAKER_01: When you treat them like this,
  
• SPEAKER_01: threatening them in.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What are you to put me in jail?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because I mean my credit card number?
  
• SPEAKER_01: There is no noise in my house.
  
• SPEAKER_01: We have no dogs in our house.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, so if you tell me either go to my house,
  
• SPEAKER_01: obviously you're going to the house,
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not talking to the wrong person.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Has that caught your mind?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Has that caught your mind?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I know.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm a professional, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're not acting like one?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Are you sure to tell her?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not acting like one?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Sorry, acting like one then if you're a professional.
  
• SPEAKER_01: A customer service manager does not talk like that to customers, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Mr.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Stop telling you a lady, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you with this, but you are not a professional.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
  
• SPEAKER_01: You don't even know who you're talking to.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Stop on my phone, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm telling you right now.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to talk to you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to eat my credit card over the phone.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm going to put your box.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, yeah, I don't care.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, I don't care.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So you can't go ahead and dump, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_01: How do you like that?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I need your credit card number, PDQ.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, you're not, okay, next to answer, give it to me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's my name?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Like, I can see my name, because you're so sure, it's my package.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Get me a tracking number and I'll find out where it's going from.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Your name's mud, as far as UPS is concerned.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'll find out where it's coming from.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I ain't gonna give you anything to you, give me a credit card number.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, you know what's, I ain't gonna give you shit either.
  
• SPEAKER_01: How's that?
  
• SPEAKER_01: How's that?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I need you to turn around.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not gonna fucking turn around.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm at work.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Tom, I'm gonna turn around and go back and pick up to this fucking tacking to $242.
  
• SPEAKER_00: How about I just open the box, help myself?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I help yourself for this conversation.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Can I talk to your supervisor?
  
• SPEAKER_00: About what?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Not about your attitude.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Can I talk to your supervisor now?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm driving right now.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm driving a truck.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, then you know what?
  
• SPEAKER_01: To transfer me, transfer over into the office.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You think I'm retarded or something.
  
• SPEAKER_01: But you know what?
  
• SPEAKER_01: People like you are the ones that are making yourselves looking at full,
  
• SPEAKER_01: but you don't even know what my name is.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And I know you should transfer into the office
  
• SPEAKER_01: and have a supervisor talk to me,
  
• SPEAKER_01: but you know you're talking shit.