Track 5: Tough Shed

• SPEAKER_02: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this is Monroe at Tough Shed, and we're going to be out there at 7.30 a.m.
  
• SPEAKER_00: to take dimensions and everything.
  
• SPEAKER_02: You've got to have the wrong number.
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, we don't.
  
• SPEAKER_02: And you're with Tough Sheds?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but, Monroe, I'm telling you, this is really weird,
  
• SPEAKER_02: because why would I want a tough shed when that's what we do?
  
• SPEAKER_02: We build Sheds.
  
• SPEAKER_02: We're Sheds by W.W. Jones.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You want to see how I do it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Is that it?
  
• SPEAKER_02: No.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, get in line.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I mean, somebody somewhere has done something because I've never even taught bad about tough sheds.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Nothing, ever.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I don't want a shed.
  
• SPEAKER_02: If I wanted a shed, I've got a whole yard full of sheds.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I don't want a shed.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You want us to demolish the ones you got?
  
• SPEAKER_02: No.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Are you serious?
  
• SPEAKER_02: If I have not called you, Monroe, I promise you.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I have not ordered anything from you.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I mean, I've been having...
  
• SPEAKER_02: weird calls at my work, too.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What do you got to say about Tuft Shed?
  
• SPEAKER_02: I don't say anything bad about Tuft Shed.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I have never said anything bad about Tub Shed.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You want to see how I do it. Just admit it.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I don't want to see how you do it. We've been doing it longer than you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Listen, I'm going to come out there. I'm going to spec you out.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm going to take all your measurements up and down and all around.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And then we're going to get everything erected. How's that sound?
  
• SPEAKER_02: I did not order it. I didn't do it. I don't do this kind of stuff.
  
• SPEAKER_02: And if you want to come out here, you're not going to erect a shed on my property.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I'm telling you that right now.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'll be there bright and early.
  
• SPEAKER_02: You'll be here at my house at 7.30.
  
• SPEAKER_02: My pad ass is still going to be in bed.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Lady, this is Monroe.
  
• SPEAKER_02: If I were you, I would not start erecting any kind of shed.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, no?
  
• SPEAKER_02: One address are you going to do this?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, the specified place.
  
• SPEAKER_02: If you come here and build a shed, you're not allowed on my property.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Do not come on my property.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Because you may even know where to hell or live with the specified place that you have.
  
• SPEAKER_02: whatever. Just don't come to my house and erect a shed, as you say, because I'm not going to pay you for it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Apparently, you don't even know where I live because this specified location that you have, just don't wake me up because I will not be awake at 7.30 in the morning.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Who is this? Monroe.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I heard that Monroe crap. Monroe, I've never even talked to you. I've never said anything bad about tough sheds.
  
• SPEAKER_02: But if you come to my house and arrest the shed at 7.30 in the morning, I feel.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I'm so sorry for you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, really?
  
• SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Let me talk to your husband.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hello.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hi, this is Monroe at Tough Shed.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, Monroe. How are you doing?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I say, how are you doing?
  
• SPEAKER_00: It's just a courtesy call that we'll be out there at 7.30 bright and early tomorrow to get your specs for your Tuft Shed.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I think you've got a mistake there.
  
• SPEAKER_00: We're going to be there at 7.m. tomorrow to take your measurements.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Get your spec.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're going to be here at 7.30 in the morning, and you're going to be in jail at 8 o'clock.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Why is that?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I have to sign nothing for tough Shed. I am a shed company. We own the Shed Company.
  
• SPEAKER_01: W. Debbie DeV. Jones was cooperating.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Been there for years and years, years.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I've been on the job for 12 years.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, you need to go a little while longer.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I've been the same location for 38 years, and I ain't got nothing against tough Shed.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Don't get me wrong.
  
• SPEAKER_01: But I don't need a shed built here at my place.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, then I need a deposit at the very least.
  
• SPEAKER_00: So I'm through doing things on spec for you, people.
  
• SPEAKER_00: We got ladies calling me up and telling me this and that.
  
• SPEAKER_01: My lady called you, or you called her.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What are you wacky?
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're the fucking one's wacky.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Listen, man.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to tell you, sir, I'm a shed manufacturing company, and I get along with tough sheds.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I ain't got nothing bad to say about you whatsoever.
  
• SPEAKER_01: None.
  
• SPEAKER_01: We're both into the shed business, but we ain't order no shan.
  
• SPEAKER_01: If we want a shan, we want a shab.
  
• SPEAKER_01: We've got sheds.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I've got a hundred something I'm upsetting.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I've got fucking sheds if I wanted one.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm going to whoop you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Come on.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What the hell?
  
• SPEAKER_01: You got to come from.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You better come from California if you're going to try that shit.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I work all around the country.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh, good time.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You ain't seen the hillbill inside, have you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm number one.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And I got some new designs that are going to drive you wild, friend.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, I say, I don't know why you feel that way.
  
• SPEAKER_01: If we could work on it as a partnership, we'd probably make more money.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And we would fight in each other.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why fuck would you want to fight me?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Because I'll whoop you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why are you going to whoop me?
  
• SPEAKER_00: We got the toughest sheds in the business.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I've got the toughest sheds of business.
  
• SPEAKER_01: That's right.
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, I do.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Are they DCA approved?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't know what that means, but listen.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, you should know, so that's the Florida law.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I got a motorcycle and a ramp, and I jump off, and I jump off, and I land off,
  
• SPEAKER_00: on the shed, boom.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Motorcycle and the ramp don't mean shit to the state of Florida.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's your DCA approved, which is for the Department of Community Affairs of the state of Florida.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And I've been approved and building DCA sheds for the past 10, 15 years.
  
• SPEAKER_00: We are tough, man, and durable.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't think the main office of tough sheds would appreciate whoever you are.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm the number one sales leader.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm telling me how bad you're going to come over here and beat my ass up because they've been a lot of guys try that bullshit over the past 68 years.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Well, let's find out which location we're supposed to be at.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You better not be bad-mouthed and toughshed up there.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Who's bad-mouthed and tough shit?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Ain't nobody.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I ain't that bad-mouthed you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Nobody has.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I've got no reason to, man.
  
• SPEAKER_01: We own her own damn company and we do our own damn thing.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm going to kick your damn shave.
  
• SPEAKER_00: How's that sound?
  
• SPEAKER_00: She kick my share with your boots.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So, man, you're welcome.
  
• SPEAKER_01: try that any case you want to.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You could try it on mine and you're going to bounce backwards real fast.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why hell are you talking like this, man?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Because we're tough.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh, man, they don't need to be in a tough.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You don't have to be tough to be a tough shit.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You can be normal.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm a shit, but then W.W. Jones Incorporated.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And you're tough sheds.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why the hell we want to fight each other?
  
• SPEAKER_00: That's a case of tough shit for you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're going to be right here by my address in the morning, right?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yep, bright and early.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And I need you front and center with the checkbook, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Stent in front of the checkbook.
  
• SPEAKER_01: All I'm most certainly do that.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm actually driving right now.
  
• SPEAKER_00: So you're actually creating a hazard for me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You should just stop and go to bed someplace, because you're going to have a hell of a fight tomorrow.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're not going to be fighting for long.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I've been fighting for 68 years.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Buddy, I got a ramp, I got a motorcycle, I got a helmet.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I got a tractor.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I got two tractors.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, mean shit.
  
• SPEAKER_01: We'll talk to something.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Sheds tomorrow. They just informed me that's not saying nothing else to you, and we're going to talk to tough sheds first time anymore.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm going to strap you on the back of my bike, and we're going to do a demonstration together, and we'll see who comes out prevailing.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know motorists. I would ride one of them, son, on the pitches if I had one for free.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm going to strap you on.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not riding on that motorcycle with you, son.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No.
  
• SPEAKER_00: No.
  
• SPEAKER_00: This is Monroe, and I'm through doing things on...
  
• SPEAKER_00: You hung up on my wife the last time she said.
  
• SPEAKER_00: She hung up on my ass.
  
• SPEAKER_01: She hung up on your ass.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You hung up on her son.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Look, I'm through working on spec for you, people.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Monroe, I ain't order nothing from you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I ain't order nothing from Tuckshazz.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I ain't order nothing from Home Depot.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I ain't order nothing from no damn body.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're bananas, man.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You goddamn right.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm bananas.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're wasting your time.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You call her a wrong person.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What are you talking smack about toughshed for?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I ain't talking smack about tough sheds.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why don't we anything used to, sir?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't even know you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're slandering me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I ain't slandering no one.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't have to slander anyone.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm going to kick your butt.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You best off to scum your ass on over tomorrow like you planned and get it kicked,
  
• SPEAKER_01: and then you can go home and tell your folks about it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm fixing a whoop your ass.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Look, mother,
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm out.