wallace-thrasher

Longmont Potion Castle 11 (2014)

Track 2: Swamp Donkey

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SPEAKER_00: Good afternoon, men to need outfitters, Matthew speaking.
SPEAKER_01: Matthew, my name is Schneider, Webb.
SPEAKER_00: Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_01: I wanted to get outfitted like a swamp donkey.
SPEAKER_01: Sorry?
SPEAKER_01: Something of that nature.
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I don't know what a swamp donkey.
SPEAKER_00: What's a swamp donkey?
SPEAKER_00: You got to help you out.
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, I'm a shepherd that's something I encountered many times over the years, and I'm a herder.
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
SPEAKER_01: I'm usually the one leading the charge.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: So are you...
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Are you looking for something with greater protection?
SPEAKER_00: Are you looking for, like, a rain jacket or a shell?
SPEAKER_00: Are you actually looking for a costume?
SPEAKER_01: I'm looking for a husk.
SPEAKER_00: A husk?
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, so what's that sound there?
SPEAKER_01: The lady at Ula-Lah said I could talk to you about it.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_00: So I don't know what's a husk?
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like a corn husk?
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't think we'll have cornhusks here.
SPEAKER_01: You know, there's some rough stuff out there when you're a shepherd,
SPEAKER_01: so I need someone who's going to do the job.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I get that.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe Cal Ranch might have something like that.
SPEAKER_00: They deal with more animal products.
SPEAKER_00: They have feed and stuff geared for livestock.
SPEAKER_00: We're more just outdoors a year, you know, tents and sleeping bags, rainwater.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I'm not sitting here playing whack-a-mole, fella.
SPEAKER_01: It's some rough stuff up there, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_01: Anything to make.
SPEAKER_01: make me look like a porcupine, something of that type?
SPEAKER_00: A porcupine?
SPEAKER_00: Um, no, I mean, yeah, there's another place off the grid.
SPEAKER_00: They got, like, camo paint and stuff like that if you wanted to just kind of blend in.
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, I'm not really sure about these.
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
SPEAKER_01: The Swamp Donkey thing, can you just make something customized, perhaps?
SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't even know.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's true.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm sorry, sir.
SPEAKER_00: I don't think we're going to be able to help you out there with the swamp donkey.
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm tossing tranquilizer darts on a daily basis.
SPEAKER_00: You're taking tranquilizer darts on a daily basis?
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm throwing them, sir.
SPEAKER_01: It's part of my job.
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
SPEAKER_01: I'm a herder.
SPEAKER_01: I lead the charge.
SPEAKER_01: That's what I do.
SPEAKER_00: Right, right, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: It's time to go pet it all the metal there, guy.
SPEAKER_00: All right, yeah.
SPEAKER_00: All right, yeah, sorry, man.
SPEAKER_00: I don't think we got anything like that.
SPEAKER_00: like that, but feel free to come by the store.
SPEAKER_00: You got me?
SPEAKER_00: Good afternoon, Anthony.
SPEAKER_00: I'll finish.
SPEAKER_00: Matthew speaking.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what do you guys got going
SPEAKER_01: over there? A darn bingo game?
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why you're asking me
SPEAKER_00: if this is a bingo polar, sir.
SPEAKER_00: You're the one calling us.
SPEAKER_01: I'm just trying to get some information here.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I've talked to you first, sir.
SPEAKER_00: Listen, this isn't a game.
SPEAKER_00: This isn't a joke. This is a business.
SPEAKER_01: Are you barefoot, Bob, or
SPEAKER_01: who are you? I don't even know who I'm talking to.
SPEAKER_00: I just told you my name
SPEAKER_00: when I picked up the telephone, sir.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to play this game with you.
SPEAKER_00: If you call back again, we're going to call the police, okay?
SPEAKER_01: I'm a paying customer.
SPEAKER_00: Okay, man, but listen, you're not making sense.
SPEAKER_00: You're asking us for things we don't have.
SPEAKER_00: We don't have a porcupine suit.
SPEAKER_00: We don't have a swamp donkey suit.
SPEAKER_01: But the lady...
SPEAKER_00: I'm serious, man.
SPEAKER_00: If you call back again, I'm going to write your telephone number down,
SPEAKER_00: and then we're going to call the police.
SPEAKER_01: I'm furious with you.
SPEAKER_01: I really am.
SPEAKER_00: Okay, what do you need, sir?
SPEAKER_01: I want to look like a holographic donkey.
SPEAKER_01: End a paragraph.
SPEAKER_00: Man, this is an out.
SPEAKER_00: outdoor camping and outfitting store.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, you're talking to a shepherd,
SPEAKER_01: so no one knows more about it than I do, frankly.
SPEAKER_00: Then you're going to have to build it yourself.
SPEAKER_00: We don't have holograms.
SPEAKER_00: We don't have suits here, sir, okay?
SPEAKER_00: This is at the end of the conversation, sir.
SPEAKER_00: I'm serious.
SPEAKER_00: You can't call back.
SPEAKER_00: Don't disturb me or any of our other associates.
SPEAKER_00: Hello, sir.
SPEAKER_00: Can you stop calling the store?
SPEAKER_01: Just sell me some rubber boots.
SPEAKER_01: That's all I need.
SPEAKER_00: We don't have rubber boots here.
SPEAKER_01: What do you have?
SPEAKER_01: Trying to find out.
SPEAKER_01: I keep getting disconnected.
SPEAKER_00: All right, sir.
SPEAKER_00: So what we're going to do here is we're going to block your number.
SPEAKER_01: Just sell me some holographic boots.
SPEAKER_00: You don't have any holograms, any holographs, nothing like that, nothing.
SPEAKER_00: We're going to call the police.