Alive in '25 (2025)

Alive in '25

Track 14: Sea Cruise

Runtime: 340 seconds

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Aliases: Lick Ruffle, Dispatcher

  • LPC: Hello?
  • LPC: Oh, hi.
  • LPC: How are you doing today?
  • Man #1: Who is this?
  • LPC: Oh, my name's Lick Ruffle.
  • LPC: I got your number from a guy at the music store I go to.
  • LPC: He made me promise I wouldn't tell you because he could get in trouble.
  • LPC: I just need some lyrics, is what I was calling about.
  • Man #1: The lyrics about what?
  • LPC: Well, that's, you know, that's the, you know, that's the,
  • LPC: kind of my problem. Whatever you think is cool, I have these two grandfather clocks, and I put
  • LPC: contact mics on them, and then some banana plug outputs, and then I ran them through a vowel
  • LPC: modeler, so now I've got these grandfather clocks doing a version of, won't you let me take you
  • LPC: on a sea cruise, and it sounds, wow, wow, wow, it sounds pretty weird. It sounds really neat.
  • Man #1: What is your name, sir? What is your name, sir?
  • LPC: My name's Lick.
  • LPC: Ruffle
  • Man #1: And where do you live?
  • LPC: Well, I'm in the process of moving, but
  • LPC: the guy at the music
  • LPC: store is like, you should call...
  • LPC: Which music store?
  • LPC: Which music store?
  • LPC: Well, he kind of made me promise
  • LPC: not to say...
  • Man #1: This sounds like a scam.
  • LPC: No, no, no, no, no. I just need some lyrics,
  • LPC: is all, you know?
  • Man #1: Okay, okay. So, give me a subject
  • Man #1: and tell me how much you're willing to pay me.
  • LPC: I have only a couple hundred dollars, but I mean, in my book, there is no better version of,
  • LPC: 'won't you let me take you on a sea cruise' than my grandfather clock with a talk box.
  • LPC: Sounds off the chain, if you ask me, you know?
  • Man #1: Did you, are you talking about 'Downtown Sounds'?
  • LPC: I'm really not supposed to say.
  • LPC: I mean, I can tell you if we meet, I imagine I could tell you later on, but he made me promise not to tell you later on, but he made me promise not to tell.
  • LPC: who he was.
  • LPC: But, no, he said you're a good lyric writer and you write poems and kind of stuff like that.
  • LPC: I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
  • LPC: Because that's what I need, you know? That's exactly what I need.
  • Man #1: So, but where, tell me, tell me, tell me a little bit about your background. Who are you exactly?
  • LPC: My name's Lick, Ruffle.
  • LPC: I know you told him. Where'd you grow up? I grew up in Temecula,
  • LPC: California, and I'm in the process of moving, and I need a lyricist, you know.
  • LPC: And I talked to a guy at a music store about my project with my grandfather clocks,
  • LPC: and it sounds pretty neat.
  • LPC: And I have sort of a musical partner, and he goes by Dispatcher.
  • LPC: I could let you talk to him, if you want, and get sort of his input.
  • Man #1: Okay.
  • Man #1: I just need, like, a subject to write the lyrics.
  • Man #1: about, like, what is the subject again?
  • LPC: Okay, hey.
  • Man #1: See, Cruz, won't you, won't you let me take you on a C-Cruz?
  • LPC: Yeah, hey, dispatcher, get on the phone and talk to him, would you?
  • LPC: He's going to talk to you for a sec.
  • LPC: Hey, dispatcher, pick up.
  • Dispatcher Faust: Dispatcher Faust.
  • Dispatcher Faust: What?
  • Dispatcher Faust: Hello, Renser Police Department.
  • Dispatcher Faust: This is the Rentsler Police Department. Dispatcher Faust.
  • Man #1: Is this a joke?
  • LPC: No way, man.
  • LPC: He has to go to the bathroom anyway, but you want
  • LPC: a theme, you said, or what?
  • Man #1: I want a subject.
  • Man #1: Like, what's the subject?
  • LPC: Okay.
  • LPC: Scorpions, I would say, candles, just some keywords, talk box.
  • Man #1: I think that I think that I, where do you live now?
  • LPC: I'm kind of couch surfing.
  • LPC: I'm kind of couch surfing right now.
  • LPC: So I'm just looking.
  • Man #1: Do you know my first and last name?
  • LPC: Yeah, this is Lick Ruffle.
  • Man #1: Do you know my first and last name?
  • LPC: Oh, sure.
  • LPC: But he made me promise not to say it kind of thing, you know?
  • Man #1: You know, I think this is a real scam, you know that?
  • Man #1: No, no, no.
  • LPC: No, I just need a poem, you know, about my grandfather clock.
  • Man #1: Where is your grandfather clock now?
  • LPC: It's in storage.
  • LPC: It's definitely in storage.
  • LPC: Uh-huh, it's in storage.
  • LPC: It's in storage.
  • LPC: Yeah, it's in storage.
  • LPC: It's in storage.
  • LPC: It's in storage.
  • LPC: It's in storage.
  • Man #1: Yeah.
  • LPC: Okay.
  • LPC: Okay, well.
  • LPC: How much do you charge or whatever?
  • Man #1: Oh, it depends on how long the song is and what the subject is.
  • Man #1: You've just mentioned a few words.
  • Man #1: You have it given me an exact scene.
  • LPC: I mean, 'won't you let me take you on a sea cruise'?
  • LPC: Hello?
  • Man #1: So you want me to write a song about,
  • Man #1: 'Won't you let me take you on a sea cruise', that song?
  • Sour Joe: Drop dead, son of a bitch.
  • Sour Joe: Drop dead, you motherfucker.
  • Sour Joe: You're a criminal.
  • Sour Joe: Drop dead!
  • Sour Joe: Get a job, piece of shit.
  • LPC: Um, okay.
  • LPC: Yeah, just anything like, it doesn't have to be like the original.
  • LPC: Huh?
  • Man #1: Okay, guess what?
  • Man #1: Guess what?
  • Man #1: I just gave your phone number to the Amherst Police.
  • Sour Joe: No, no, no.
  • Man #1: No, no.
  • Man #1: They're coming, they're coming over to arrest your ass now.
  • LPC: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
  • LPC: No, no, no, no.
  • LPC: No.