wallace-thrasher

Longmont Potion Castle 19 (2022)

Track 10: Porcupine

SPEAKER_06: Hello? Hello. I have the copy of Porcupine, someone was looking for?
SPEAKER_10: Porcupine? Hang on one second. I don't think it was me, so one sec.
SPEAKER_06: You fucking put me on hold and you're at work.
SPEAKER_01: You want the porcupine, correct?
SPEAKER_01: Hello?
SPEAKER_01: Hello?
SPEAKER_01: Hi. Hi.
SPEAKER_20: You're calling about Frankenstein?
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay. Did you just call me a couple minutes ago?
SPEAKER_01: No.
SPEAKER_01: No. You're calling about Frankenstein?
SPEAKER_20: No.
SPEAKER_20: You're calling about Frankenstein?
SPEAKER_01: All right, Frankenstein you want. Yes, sir? How can I help you?
SPEAKER_20: Someone called me.
SPEAKER_01: I did not call you. I just opened up the phone to talk to you, and you are there.
SPEAKER_01: That's strange.
SPEAKER_01: We are a bookshop, and we do have copies of Frankenstein.
SPEAKER_09: Hello?
SPEAKER_17: Yes.
SPEAKER_09: Hi, we did not have porcupine.
SPEAKER_17: I thought it was pork pie.
SPEAKER_09: I don't know. You told me porcupine. It's pork pie?
SPEAKER_17: Okay. Did you already speak to someone here?
SPEAKER_09: I've been speaking to you.
SPEAKER_17: Okay, because I was wondering if you might have called Brian earlier. He might have told me something different.
SPEAKER_09: I don't know who Brian is. Sorry.
SPEAKER_17: Okay. So, what is the name of the book that you're looking for again?
SPEAKER_09: You told me porcupine.
SPEAKER_17: Right, but I'm asking you, what is the book that you were looking for?
SPEAKER_09: You told me to look for a porcupine book.
SPEAKER_17: in the children's section.
SPEAKER_17: I thought it was pork pie.
SPEAKER_17: So you're looking for porcupine books in general?
SPEAKER_17: We don't have a children's section to start with.
SPEAKER_09: Hi, I am a bookstore.
SPEAKER_09: I looked in our kids' section.
SPEAKER_09: We did not have a book called Porcupine.
SPEAKER_17: Okay.
SPEAKER_17: So you were looking for that book?
SPEAKER_09: Yeah.
SPEAKER_09: You asked me to.
SPEAKER_17: Oh, I see.
SPEAKER_17: So you're coming back and let me know that.
SPEAKER_09: I didn't call.
SPEAKER_09: I just put you on hold to look on the shelves.
SPEAKER_17: Okay.
SPEAKER_17: All right.
SPEAKER_17: So, uh...
SPEAKER_10: Okay.
SPEAKER_10: I'm not showing that particular title.
SPEAKER_10: If you have an author's name, that would be very helpful, but just the title,
SPEAKER_10: Concubine, nothing is coming up.
SPEAKER_10: Concubine?
SPEAKER_10: I thought you were saying Porcupine.
SPEAKER_10: There's the issue.
SPEAKER_10: What's the, is it Concubine or Porcupine?
SPEAKER_10: What's the title?
SPEAKER_10: Of which book?
SPEAKER_10: I'm sorry, I'm not following.
SPEAKER_10: Okay.
SPEAKER_10: So I didn't just speak with you.
SPEAKER_10: I just spoke to a gentleman, and he was looking for a book.
SPEAKER_10: and he said the title is concubine.
SPEAKER_18: Okay.
SPEAKER_10: I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_10: Are you calling from an agency?
SPEAKER_10: I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_10: I'm not calling.
SPEAKER_10: I think we received a call.
SPEAKER_10: Okay.
SPEAKER_10: I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_10: But, okay.
SPEAKER_10: I'm going to hang up.
SPEAKER_10: We do not have the book in stock.
SPEAKER_10: Sorry.
SPEAKER_10: Um, okay.
SPEAKER_10: I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_10: I didn't find anything like that.
SPEAKER_10: Um, hello?
SPEAKER_10: Hello?
SPEAKER_10: Hi.
SPEAKER_10: Were you looking for the porcupine?
SPEAKER_10: You know, you know what?
SPEAKER_10: I think we somehow got into a double phone call.
SPEAKER_10: I don't know.
SPEAKER_10: Um, did you find it by any chance?
SPEAKER_10: I can't find it.
SPEAKER_10: I wasn't sure of the book, but something poke in the eye or something like that?
SPEAKER_10: I heard porcupine.
SPEAKER_10: Porcupine.
SPEAKER_10: Okay, and I heard poke in the eye.
SPEAKER_10: Oh, dear.
SPEAKER_10: Okay.
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, I'm not even finding it anyway.
SPEAKER_10: Okay.
SPEAKER_10: Well, good luck.
SPEAKER_10: Hello.
SPEAKER_18: Hello.
SPEAKER_10: Was there a subtitle at all, do you know?
SPEAKER_10: A lot of books are showing up with the title of Porcupine.
SPEAKER_18: Is it the Porcupine or the Concubine?
SPEAKER_10: Oh, conchupine. Oh, my goodness.
SPEAKER_10: I heard Porcupine. I am so sorry.
SPEAKER_18: Oh, it's okay.
SPEAKER_18: I don't know what the sound interference is that's happening.
SPEAKER_10: You said it was by Nora Lof.
SPEAKER_18: I'm seeing one by Nora Loss, and I'm just checking if that's the opposite.
SPEAKER_10: Um, yeah, if you don't mind holding again, I can go...
SPEAKER_18: Also, there's some kind of weird sound interference.
SPEAKER_18: Hello.
SPEAKER_10: Hello?
SPEAKER_18: Hi.
SPEAKER_10: Hi.
SPEAKER_10: Hi. Um, if you don't mind holding for just a moment, I can double check and see if we have the concubine by Lop.
SPEAKER_18: There's a lot of sound interference.
SPEAKER_10: There's...
SPEAKER_06: is.
SPEAKER_06: Sir?
SPEAKER_06: Hi.
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
SPEAKER_06: I was not able to find that book.
SPEAKER_05: Calvin Klein, you did not get it here?
SPEAKER_06: Calvin Klein?
SPEAKER_05: That's what he told me the name of the book was.
SPEAKER_06: In the back of the store, Kelvin Klein?
SPEAKER_06: No, I couldn't.
SPEAKER_06: I was it, look.
SPEAKER_06: I thought he said, Porcupine.
SPEAKER_05: Was it a used book?
SPEAKER_06: No, we don't have that book.
SPEAKER_06: Oh, so you don't know what he's asking for.
SPEAKER_06: Is it Calvin Klein, or is it?
SPEAKER_06: it, Porcupine.
SPEAKER_06: What is the title?
SPEAKER_06: I mean, I don't know.
SPEAKER_06: What is he asking for?
SPEAKER_05: He told me, he, he, the name of the book was Calvin Klein, and you got it here from our store.
SPEAKER_05: He doesn't know the author.
SPEAKER_05: And it's about the designer.
SPEAKER_06: I know, and I looked, and I just looked in the biography area, and then I also looked in the fashion area,
SPEAKER_06: and it's not in either place.
SPEAKER_06: Are you looking for the book, Porcupine?
SPEAKER_22: No, he said Ernest Borgnine.
SPEAKER_22: Oh, Porcupine.
SPEAKER_22: Oh, Porcupine.
SPEAKER_22: completely misunderstood.
SPEAKER_22: Okay, and you say I had a number of copies of it?
SPEAKER_10: No, we don't, so are you looking for a book titled Porcupine, or is it a different name?
SPEAKER_22: Well, he called me, and I, I thought he said he was looking for Ernest Bognine.
SPEAKER_10: So are you looking for the autobiography?
SPEAKER_14: Officer Brooks and Sanof, this is Ricardo.
SPEAKER_14: Good morning.
SPEAKER_22: Hello?
SPEAKER_14: This is Ricardo.
SPEAKER_22: Is this a joke, this call?
SPEAKER_03: No, just give me a second.
SPEAKER_03: I'm going to put you on hold.
SPEAKER_14: Porcupine?
SPEAKER_20: Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_20: I'm having a hard time locating.
SPEAKER_20: I don't remember this title.
SPEAKER_20: This is this called Porcupine?
SPEAKER_03: Did you say Palestine?
SPEAKER_03: Hello?
SPEAKER_03: Hello?
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
SPEAKER_03: Do you have any more information about the particular book?
SPEAKER_03: Is it about porcupines?
SPEAKER_03: Without an author I'm not coming up with.
SPEAKER_21: The title is Palestine?
SPEAKER_03: Palestine?
SPEAKER_21: Is that the title?
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
SPEAKER_03: Well, I put someone on hold who I thought was looking for a book titled Porcupine, but I could have misunderstood that.
SPEAKER_03: Oh, porcupines?
SPEAKER_21: I didn't hear that.
SPEAKER_21: No.
SPEAKER_21: I didn't put that on hold over here, so you got the wrong shop.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, wait.
SPEAKER_03: Who am I talking to?
SPEAKER_03: This is Raina at Blue Cypress books, and I just put somebody on hold who called me.
SPEAKER_21: Oh, you're talking to Russell at Arcadian.
SPEAKER_03: Weird.
SPEAKER_03: Did you call me?
SPEAKER_21: No.
SPEAKER_03: That is so weird, because I literally.
SPEAKER_03: Someone called me looking for that book.
SPEAKER_21: And I said, oh, one of a minute, one of a sudden, I'm talking to you.
SPEAKER_21: It's destiny.
SPEAKER_03: That is so easy.
SPEAKER_21: Well, good luck, huh?
SPEAKER_15: Okay, sir.
SPEAKER_21: Sir?
SPEAKER_15: Okay, um, the only book we've had is a title called Sparkling Wine Anytime.
SPEAKER_15: Um, it's by Catherine Cole.
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, hello.
SPEAKER_08: Hi, um, I was talking to you about the Porcupine book?
SPEAKER_15: The Porcupine book.
SPEAKER_15: Give me one moment, please.
SPEAKER_08: Okay.
SPEAKER_15: Yeah, I'm sorry, I was.
SPEAKER_15: talking to a gentleman on this line. He was looking for a book called sparkling wine.
SPEAKER_08: Oh, okay. But did you ask about a porcupine book? A book called porcupine? You did not? Hello?
SPEAKER_10: Hello? Hello? Hi. Sorry, who's...
SPEAKER_10: Oh, I'm so sorry. Were you calling about a book called porcupine? No. Oh, okay. Oh, wait, what are they
SPEAKER_10: looking for? They're telling me it's poor carmine. Oh, maybe I misheard. No, I don't think
SPEAKER_10: Porcupine is a book.
SPEAKER_10: I'm not finding a book called Porcupine either.
SPEAKER_10: Wait, I don't understand how you ended up on the other end of school.
SPEAKER_10: I have no idea.
SPEAKER_03: How strange.
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_14: This has gone on long enough. I have to hang up. I have work to do, okay.
SPEAKER_14: Yeah, I have an inventory management system allows me to look up anything we have,
SPEAKER_14: and it's not showing anything up under just.
SPEAKER_14: plain porcupine.
SPEAKER_00: Okay. I think the person meant to call you, I believe. I think they were looking for a book called
SPEAKER_14: Turpentine. Oh, that's different than porcupine.
SPEAKER_10: Hello? Yeah, what's the title of the book? He just said porcupine.
SPEAKER_09: Oh, he told me chorus line. Oh.
SPEAKER_10: Well, anyway, we'll let him unravel this one.
SPEAKER_10: Okay. Yeah. That's...
SPEAKER_10: That sounds good.
SPEAKER_10: Okay.
SPEAKER_16: Hello?
SPEAKER_16: Hello.
SPEAKER_16: Hi, this is Wiseblood.
SPEAKER_16: You called about a book called Porcupine?
SPEAKER_12: No, not Porcupine.
SPEAKER_12: The young man said that you got a book for me called Turpentine.
SPEAKER_12: I don't remember a book entitled Turpentine.
SPEAKER_16: So I had somebody called Us at Wiseblood asking for a book called Porcupine,
SPEAKER_16: but I don't have anything called Porcupine.
SPEAKER_12: Yeah, I don't have anything called Turpentine.
SPEAKER_16: Somebody else called me. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a bookstore.
SPEAKER_12: You don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_16: All right. Okay.
SPEAKER_12: All right. All right.
SPEAKER_10: Hello?
SPEAKER_10: Hello.
SPEAKER_10: Hi. Were you just looking for a book called Porcupine?
SPEAKER_10: No, I just had a guy call and ask for poor carmine.
SPEAKER_10: Oh. Wait. Who are you?
SPEAKER_10: I'm the bookshop in Lakewood.
SPEAKER_10: But actually, what was the title he was actually looking for?
SPEAKER_10: because I misheard him also.
SPEAKER_10: Oh, he said four carmine.
SPEAKER_07: Parmine.
SPEAKER_10: Oh, I thought he said porcupine.
SPEAKER_10: That could be.
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
SPEAKER_07: Let me jump in here.
SPEAKER_07: This guy asked me for porcupine.
SPEAKER_07: He asked Max back for porcupine.
SPEAKER_07: So I don't know what this dude is doing, but he's pulling some bullshit.
SPEAKER_07: Oh, God.
SPEAKER_07: Okay, great.
SPEAKER_07: We're done.
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
SPEAKER_10: Thanks for Holting.
SPEAKER_10: I'm sort of coming up a little empty-handed here.
SPEAKER_10: Do you remember anything else about the book?
SPEAKER_10: It's called Poke in the Eye.
SPEAKER_05: Oh, weird.
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
SPEAKER_05: So on the first pass, I heard porcupine, which is a totally different.
SPEAKER_09: That could have been the correct one.
SPEAKER_08: Hello?
SPEAKER_08: Hi.
SPEAKER_08: Calling about porcupine?
SPEAKER_08: No.
SPEAKER_13: You called me.
SPEAKER_13: I put somebody on hold, and then when I picked up, you were there.
SPEAKER_11: Oh, my goodness.
SPEAKER_11: Someone just called us.
SPEAKER_13: Did they call you about porcupine?
SPEAKER_11: No, I think it's called Wine and Dine.
SPEAKER_13: Weird.
SPEAKER_11: Weird.
SPEAKER_11: Okay, I'm going to hang up.
SPEAKER_11: I think this is on you.
SPEAKER_11: We're a used bookstore, so I'm guessing it's not for us.
SPEAKER_11: Anyway.
SPEAKER_11: Well, no, we're a new and used bookstore.
SPEAKER_11: Oh, well, we wouldn't have, they said that they were looking for multiple copies.
SPEAKER_11: Weird.
SPEAKER_11: A weird scam, I guess.
SPEAKER_11: I don't know.
SPEAKER_11: Weird.
SPEAKER_11: Happy Christmas.
SPEAKER_11: Are you hearing weird noises?
SPEAKER_11: Yes.
SPEAKER_11: Are we being reported?
SPEAKER_11: What is going on?
SPEAKER_09: I don't know.
SPEAKER_11: I hope that you have success with this.
SPEAKER_11: You too.
SPEAKER_11: Cool.
SPEAKER_11: Bye.
SPEAKER_11: Bye.
SPEAKER_02: Hi.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: So I am not finding anything called Porcupine.
SPEAKER_02: Are you sure it was the store, the specific Barbaras?
SPEAKER_23: Ah, this is not Barbaras.
SPEAKER_23: This is volumes.
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_02: What?
SPEAKER_02: I was just on the phone with a customer.
SPEAKER_23: They just called me and we're looking for a book.
SPEAKER_02: Wait, and how are we talking, though?
SPEAKER_02: That doesn't make sense?
SPEAKER_23: I don't know.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, that's really, really weird.
SPEAKER_02: What were they looking?
SPEAKER_23: for?
SPEAKER_02: They were looking for a book called Porcupine?
SPEAKER_23: Ah, see, mine was looking for Picklevine.
SPEAKER_02: What is happening?
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
SPEAKER_02: The Matrix.
SPEAKER_04: I don't know, but, um...
SPEAKER_04: All right, it looks like there's a few books called Porcupine.
SPEAKER_19: Is you just, are we going to...
SPEAKER_19: Is this another store I'm talking to?
SPEAKER_04: This is the Hurstborn location, but I have access to the inventory of other stores.
SPEAKER_19: Okay, this is book, sorry.
SPEAKER_19: This is book and music exchange.
SPEAKER_19: I'm from Booking Museum.
SPEAKER_19: This guy just put it together on a call looking for a book called Snorting Lines.
SPEAKER_04: Okay, I'm not, yeah, not seeing that.
SPEAKER_19: Yeah, that's what I'm...
SPEAKER_19: It's okay.
SPEAKER_19: Okay.
SPEAKER_04: Have a wonderful thing.
SPEAKER_04: Have a nice day.
SPEAKER_04: Yay, customer service.
SPEAKER_04: Are you looking for, like, porcupine, like, the animal?
SPEAKER_04: Hello?
SPEAKER_04: Hello?
SPEAKER_10: Oh, hey, I was talking to someone about a book.
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, I was also talking to someone about a book.
SPEAKER_10: Oh, I was talking to a different book.
SPEAKER_10: person. It was a guy.
SPEAKER_10: I was talking to you in a man. Okay, this is
SPEAKER_10: very strange. Do you also work at a bookshop?
SPEAKER_10: I do.
SPEAKER_10: I'm working at a bookshop. This is very strange.
SPEAKER_10: What are you looking for?
SPEAKER_10: I was also helping a man, and he was like, I'm looking
SPEAKER_10: for a book called Porcupine towards the
SPEAKER_10: right of your story, and I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_10: Porcupine. I thought he was saying turpentine.
SPEAKER_10: Oh, he, okay, so he was
SPEAKER_10: asking both of us from different books.
SPEAKER_10: I guess so? This is so weird.
SPEAKER_10: This is so weird.
SPEAKER_03: I don't know how they have to be a whole company were located up the top of Queen Anne Hill.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, well, I don't think that you and I can probably help each other.
SPEAKER_14: Yeah, that was weird.
SPEAKER_14: I hope you have a wonderful day.
SPEAKER_14: You too.
SPEAKER_10: Nice to be a week.
SPEAKER_14: That's a day.
SPEAKER_21: That's it.