wallace-thrasher

Longmont Potion Castle 14 (2017)

Track 10: Otis

SPEAKER_02: Hello?
SPEAKER_02: Hi, man, I talk to Scott.
SPEAKER_02: This is.
SPEAKER_02: Hi, this is Haywood with Otis Elevators.
None: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: Got some mail return that we had sent to you.
None: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: I guess you didn't see it from Otis Elevators?
SPEAKER_02: No.
SPEAKER_02: We had actually sent you a bill.
SPEAKER_02: There's a fee associated with our elevators, but anyone presses more than four buttons at once.
SPEAKER_02: You were on surveillance.
SPEAKER_02: There's an $89 fee associated.
SPEAKER_02: with that.
SPEAKER_02: So that's what we're trying to collect here today.
SPEAKER_03: When was this?
SPEAKER_02: January.
SPEAKER_03: January?
SPEAKER_02: Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_03: I don't remember being in an elevator back in January.
SPEAKER_02: It was on Hobby Avenue, Indiana Avenue, one of our buildings there.
SPEAKER_02: If you just wanted to do the credit card by phone or a routing number by phone, we could satisfy the debt that way.
SPEAKER_03: An elevator over on Hobby Avenue?
SPEAKER_02: Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_03: What's the building?
SPEAKER_02: It was a city building.
SPEAKER_02: It was an $89 fee.
SPEAKER_02: It's just to prevent people from pushing buttons willy-nilly and
SPEAKER_02: elevators are not to be toyed with, was the reasoning behind the fee.
SPEAKER_03: What was the date of this?
SPEAKER_02: January 2 through the 12th, we were doing a big sweep.
SPEAKER_02: So within that 10-day time frame, sir.
SPEAKER_02: You push too many buttons.
SPEAKER_02: is the long and short of it.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, I'm trying to tell you, I don't remember being in a building during that time frame.
SPEAKER_02: We do.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, it's on video.
SPEAKER_02: We've even got audio of that elevator ride that you took.
SPEAKER_02: I'm with Otis elevators.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I've been here.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, I don't remember being in an elevator on Indiana Avenue.
SPEAKER_02: Four years I've been here.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: We've seen lots and lots of elevators go up and down, and people are pushing too many buttons.
SPEAKER_02: It's wearing the things out.
SPEAKER_02: This is what you did.
SPEAKER_02: And this is what we need, $89.
SPEAKER_03: I checked the mail every day, and I've never received anything from a notice elevator.
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03: You can't even give me a building that I was in that had an elevator.
SPEAKER_02: Well, they got returned to sender, sir.
SPEAKER_03: How can it give you return to sender if I'd never received it?
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's the problem.
SPEAKER_02: Work it out with your substation of your post office.
SPEAKER_02: Who knows what else you're not receiving.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: And then you decide to get in the elevator, go out.
SPEAKER_02: up, go down, whatever you were doing, and you pressed in excess of four buttons.
SPEAKER_02: It's pouring the thing out double, triple time of what it should be.
SPEAKER_03: The only building that I can ever think of that is on Indiana Avenue, which would have a
SPEAKER_03: elevator in it, would have been the courthouse in Kentucky Key.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay. Well, then that's 89 times two. That would be 198 today.
SPEAKER_02: I appreciate your being forthright about this.
SPEAKER_02: So just read us the credit card number, we'll wipe it out, and in the future, just press the one button, boom, we're done.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, first of all, I'm not going to pay for anything if I haven't seen a bill that says I was there.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, that's between you and the post office.
SPEAKER_03: Well, no, that's between you and me, because you're saying you sent it, I've never seen anything from an Otis elevator.
SPEAKER_03: I'm telling you, the only building on Indiana Avenue that would have such a thing,
SPEAKER_03: is the courthouse, and if I'm in an elevator, I'm only pressing one button.
SPEAKER_02: More like five or six, according to our video tape.
SPEAKER_03: Well, why don't you send me a copy of your video so I can either confirm or deny this?
SPEAKER_02: Because that's private property. It's part of the city.
SPEAKER_03: Well, then you send me a fucking bill or a picture from your video that says I was there,
SPEAKER_03: so I can either confirm or deny that I was there, and I'm telling you, between the second
SPEAKER_03: and the 12th, my ass was sitting in my apartment.
SPEAKER_02: Well, there's nothing to deny, and we've got audio as well.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, but see, you're saying you have it.
SPEAKER_03: I'm disputing your claim that you have it because I've never seen anything from you.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, sir, you were hooting and hollering in this elevator.
SPEAKER_03: I'm hooded and hollering in the elevator?
SPEAKER_02: Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_02: And that's the reason why we instituted this $89 penalty is to dissuade folks from going bulk wild.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so that's.
SPEAKER_03: First of all, I would not hoot and holler in an elevator.
SPEAKER_03: I was raised better than that.
SPEAKER_03: Now, can you tell me what I was doing?
SPEAKER_03: Obviously, you've seen the video.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you were spinning around.
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: The people were going buck wild.
SPEAKER_03: Um, no, that's not me.
SPEAKER_02: I've been here four years.
SPEAKER_02: I have.
SPEAKER_02: I've seen it all.
SPEAKER_02: I really have.
SPEAKER_03: I would never do no such thing in an elevator.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, there was saliva on the ground.
SPEAKER_02: Trust me.
SPEAKER_02: There was a lot going on.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, first, you're making this shit up because I would not do anything like that.
SPEAKER_02: Sir, we have video.
SPEAKER_02: We have audio.
SPEAKER_02: I've seen...
SPEAKER_03: Then show it to me.
SPEAKER_02: Private property.
SPEAKER_02: It's city property.
SPEAKER_03: Well, then, it's my word against yours.
SPEAKER_03: Now, you say, I've done this.
SPEAKER_03: I'm hooting hollering, I'm slobbering on the ground.
SPEAKER_03: I'm telling you, I didn't because between January 2nd and January 2nd and January 12th, I was home.
SPEAKER_03: Now, you can't give me an exact date.
SPEAKER_03: All you're giving me is attention.
SPEAKER_03: day window. You're not telling me what type of a building I'm even in for this to happen.
SPEAKER_03: You're telling me all this outlandish stuff, which is not me to begin with.
SPEAKER_03: So, until I see some proof from you, you're not getting a fucking dime for me.
SPEAKER_02: This is noncompliance right here is what this is. And there's a surcharge for that.
SPEAKER_02: To the tune of 69 additional dollars.
SPEAKER_02: We can keep going. It's your call.
SPEAKER_03: And I'm telling you.
SPEAKER_03: Until I see some type of proof to your claims, you're not getting anything from me.
SPEAKER_02: Just read the credit card number, and we'll just put it behind this.
SPEAKER_03: You're not getting a credit card until I get proof, buddy.
SPEAKER_02: I've got the proof right here in my...
SPEAKER_03: And you show me the fucking proof because all I have is your word that such a thing has happened.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you're just joyriding. That's what you're doing.
SPEAKER_03: During that time frame, I really didn't leave my house that much unless it was to go get groceries.
SPEAKER_03: I have lived in Tanka Key for 44 fucking years.
SPEAKER_03: There is no grocery store on Indiana Avenue.
SPEAKER_02: Sir, can you just read us the routing number?
SPEAKER_03: You're not getting anything until I get fucking proof.
SPEAKER_03: So stop trying to get me on money on shit that I didn't do.
SPEAKER_02: Or cash?
SPEAKER_03: You're not, what part of you're not getting a dime until I get proof?
SPEAKER_03: Do you even understand?
SPEAKER_02: I could send you an MP3 of the audio of you spinning around,
SPEAKER_02: whooping it up, acting inappropriate,
SPEAKER_02: but you're not going to like what you hear any more than I did, to be frank.
SPEAKER_03: Hell, burn it on a DVD, because I've never received anything from a notice elevator.
SPEAKER_02: Burn a DVD. This whole incident is burned into my memory.
SPEAKER_02: It's unpleasant.
SPEAKER_03: The only thing would have been unpleasant for you to see it of anything in me doing an elevator
SPEAKER_03: would be fucking a woman.
SPEAKER_03: Which I haven't done in years, and I wouldn't have done it in Kentucky Key County,
SPEAKER_03: because the elevators don't go that far.
SPEAKER_02: You're out of control.
SPEAKER_02: You are.
SPEAKER_03: Well, okay, apparently I'm out of control on someone who is generated probably a pretty good scam
SPEAKER_03: to get people to give them their bank account numbers so that they can drain them on their accounts.
SPEAKER_00: A scam?
SPEAKER_00: you're Buck Wild.
SPEAKER_00: You're Buck Wild.
SPEAKER_00: It's what you are.
SPEAKER_00: And it's far out.
SPEAKER_03: Well, like I said, you're making stuff up because that's not anything I would do in an elevator.
SPEAKER_03: You're not getting shit until you can generate proof, which I doubt you can do.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I've got the proof right here in my video machine.
SPEAKER_03: So you say, but like I keep telling you, I've never heard of your company.
SPEAKER_02: We have been in business for 117 years, my good man.
SPEAKER_03: And apparently, like I'm.
SPEAKER_03: 117 years, I'm the worst person that has been in your elevator system.
SPEAKER_02: Again, you read us the routing number, we'll let it go, and I'm not going to hold anything against you.
SPEAKER_02: That's how big of a guy I am, all right?
SPEAKER_03: Like I said, you show me proof that I did what you said I did in your elevator,
SPEAKER_03: and you might get some money.
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm getting the money, period.
SPEAKER_02: There's no two ways about that.
SPEAKER_02: Just a matter if I have to see you in the courtroom or not.
SPEAKER_02: Sir, quit dinsen around the subject, and just read the credit card number and the expiration date.
SPEAKER_03: You want a credit card number. Here you go.
SPEAKER_03: 0-0-0-0-0-0-0. It's all zeros because you're not getting a fucking number.
SPEAKER_03: You tell me what building I'm in, and you put screenshots of what the fuck I'm doing.
SPEAKER_03: And then I'll take it to my lawyer to see if it's real or not.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's beyond real.
SPEAKER_03: I've never heard of your company, so you're going to try to get my banking information
SPEAKER_03: so you can go fund Al-Qaeda or ISIS or wherever to fuck you're funding at this particular moment.
SPEAKER_03: I don't know, you can be funding your mom's drug habit. I don't fucking know at this moment.
SPEAKER_03: But until I get all of that, you're not getting a fucking dime.
SPEAKER_03: Hello?
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes. This is Ray Ray with Otis Elevators calling, sir.
SPEAKER_03: never received anything from you, and like I said before when you called, you're not going
SPEAKER_03: to get anything until I get something. I talked to my lawyer, and my lawyer would like to see a copy
SPEAKER_03: of this alleged video of me acting like an idiot in an elevator.
SPEAKER_02: It's indecent for presentation. So just make the checkout to Otis Elevator.
SPEAKER_03: No, you're not going to get anything until I get a bill and I get proof.
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'll give you time to get a pen. That's certainly no problem.
SPEAKER_03: No. Because if you actually were Otis Elevator, you would show up on my caller ID as Otis Elevator, not Mummy Napkin.
SPEAKER_02: My notes say Buckwild, Druel, and Hogwild. What am I supposed to do with that?
SPEAKER_03: Oh, well, hey, have you ever seen me at Buck Wild, Druel, and Hog Wild in an elevator?
SPEAKER_03: I don't think we've ever been at an elevator in general.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so right there, your claim is disputed right there.
SPEAKER_02: I'm going to put you through to my manager.
SPEAKER_02: Do you want to try this shit again?
SPEAKER_02: I can't get through it.
SPEAKER_02: You talk to my manager, sir.
SPEAKER_03: It might be his mom.
SPEAKER_03: Hello?
SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
SPEAKER_03: Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03: Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03: What office has a dog screeching in the background? What office has a dog screeching in the background?
SPEAKER_03: Huh?
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm reshooting your claims here because I don't believe you're an actual company. I believe you're trying to scam me out of money.
SPEAKER_03: Where are you calling?
SPEAKER_03: Actually, you called me.
SPEAKER_03: I did.
SPEAKER_03: Yes, whoever you have there working in your quote-unquote office has called me twice saying they work for an Otis elevator company.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's not me, man.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, well, whoever you have there.
SPEAKER_03: It's kind of funny.
SPEAKER_03: This isn't an office, it's a residence.
SPEAKER_03: Well, you have someone there who has called me twice, and it's popped up mummy napkin on my caller ID.
SPEAKER_03: That's kind of weird, man.
SPEAKER_03: No, that's not me.
SPEAKER_03: It's a residence.
SPEAKER_03: I'm telling me.
SPEAKER_03: you that. I kind of figured it was because the guy was trying to get my information so he could
SPEAKER_03: bring my account. No, you need to be careful, man.
SPEAKER_03: All right. Thank you for your help.
SPEAKER_03: Right on. I wouldn't do that later.
SPEAKER_03: All right. All right.