Track 16: Normal Jarvis

• SPEAKER_00: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hey, Dan.
  
• SPEAKER_00: My name's Jarvis.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm new to the neighborhood here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What's going on with you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I got your number from Big Red over on the other side.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Fine.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What can I help you with?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm new to the neighborhood, like I say,
  
• SPEAKER_00: names Jarvis Buzzer.
  
• SPEAKER_00: So I moved down from normal about four days back.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I've just got this new place,
  
• SPEAKER_00: and do you think there's any way to give me a hand maybe a little bit later?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I just have this, this sander.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Could you help me with it just real fast?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I can give a few dollars.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, I'm still not clear on who I'm talking to.
  
• SPEAKER_00: It's J.B., Colin.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What do you got going on?
  
• SPEAKER_00: It's Jarvis Buzzer.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's your real name, Jarvis?
  
• SPEAKER_00: That is my name.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What's your real name, though?
  
• SPEAKER_00: What do you mean there?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Who are you really?
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're just fiddling around because you don't want to help me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I offered you $5.10, fair and square.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I just want to hook up a pulley in my house here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: That's all I need.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Who are you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm Jarvis.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm from normal.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I lived here about a week now.
  
• SPEAKER_00: All right, so where do we stand here, tough guy?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Good guy, guy, okay, okay.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So does Justin have you do this?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Who?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Justin.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Justin.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Justin? Yeah, are you related to him?
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Is your friend?
  
• SPEAKER_00: My brother helped me move here. Is that who you're talking about?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what's his name?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Flavio, Buzzer, and I'm Jarvis Buzzer.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Move down from normal.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So this is, do, like, record this and put it on the Internet, or you record it so he can listen to it?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Who?
  
• SPEAKER_00: My brother?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, I need help at my time.
  
• SPEAKER_00: my house here. Big Red said that you were a handy kind of guy and that you might help me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I guess he was wrong, though, because you don't seem not willing to help me out. I'm new to the area here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You understand? Because that's what I'm trying to...
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, that's why I thought this was related to Justin, because he kind of talks like that.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I don't know who that is. No, I do who that is.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, that's who I think it is.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, you're dead wrong. How does that make you feel?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I think I'm right, so...
  
• SPEAKER_00: I think you're right about which part?
  
• SPEAKER_00: That I'll come over and whoop you in the A?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Because, buddy, I'll come over there and I'll kick you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You feel me?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I talk to everybody on the street.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I talk to Ernie.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I talked to Gustavo.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I freaking talk to Octavio up at the grocery store.
  
• SPEAKER_00: They all said, oh, yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Call Dan up.
  
• SPEAKER_00: But all you've given me is a lump of coal here today.
  
• SPEAKER_01: you do this for fun
  
• SPEAKER_00: and I don't like what I hear
  
• SPEAKER_00: I don't like what I'm hearing up here
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why don't you tell me who you really are?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Jarvis Jarvis Jarvis for the 18th time
  
• SPEAKER_00: That's funny
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why don't you tell me who you really are?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Born and reared up in normal
  
• SPEAKER_00: I come down here
  
• SPEAKER_00: And then I got some neighbor of mine
  
• SPEAKER_00: Trotting around
  
• SPEAKER_00: Like he's too cool for school
  
• SPEAKER_00: Doesn't believe Orta
  
• SPEAKER_00: to say. He wants to get
  
• SPEAKER_00: Buck Wild. Well, buddy, let's get Buck
  
• SPEAKER_00: Wild. I'll twirl
  
• SPEAKER_00: you around.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You got me figured out? I
  
• SPEAKER_00: offered you some money, Fearing, Square,
  
• SPEAKER_00: to help me hook up my pulley here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And now you want to get Buckwild?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Buddy, let's get Buck Wild.
  
• SPEAKER_01: He's threatening me, Jarvis?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I offered you the money, Fair and Squill,
  
• SPEAKER_00: to help me with my pulley.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And you don't believe where I'm from. You don't believe
  
• SPEAKER_00: my names. What do you want for me?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Let's start with this.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Tell me your real name.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to say it again.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Your real address.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I've told you 20 times who I am.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And where I got your number.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm new to the community over here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So obviously I don't believe that.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So why do you keep saying it?
  
• SPEAKER_00: So why not?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Big and bad?
  
• SPEAKER_00: What's your real name?
  
• SPEAKER_01: You tell me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I thought it was Dan.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Apparently you got everything figured out.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're so much smart.
  
• SPEAKER_00: than me. So, okay.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What do I need to know to live around here?
  
• SPEAKER_00: If nothing is as it seems, hmm?
  
• SPEAKER_01: This is what I would tell you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: If you don't have anything to do with Justin,
  
• SPEAKER_01: um, you talk just like him.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Who's just, just, just, just, just.
  
• SPEAKER_01: The kind of guy that thinks this is funny and talks just like you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Talks just like me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Buddy, I'm 59 years of age.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Born in Reared Norman, Illinois.
  
• SPEAKER_00: and I just moved down here a week ago.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I was looking for a hand for my neighbor.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Because that's the kind of guy I am.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm not going to do it.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to do it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Why not?
  
• SPEAKER_01: So what do you want from me?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Huh?
  
• SPEAKER_00: It would take you all of walking across the street.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Is that too much to ask up here?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Or what do you think?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Wait, wing, wait.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, like I said, give me your address.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'll walk over there.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, so now you want the money.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Is that it?
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, I just want to meet you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, why is that?
  
• SPEAKER_00: You don't even believe a flipping word I say.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, maybe if I met you in person.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, maybe if I met you in person, I'll talk.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's the address again?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm at 6022.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's the street, dumbass?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Same street as you, tough guy.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What street is that?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'll come on over to your place.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Are you there now? I'll come over there now.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'll show you how we do things in normal.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'll head right over.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Just tell me the street.
  
• SPEAKER_01: street name.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And then you'll know my name.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Jarvis Buzzer all day long.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's your street name there?
  
• SPEAKER_00: There's only one of me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Same freaking street as you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: 6-022, what's the street?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why can't you answer that?
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's wrong with you?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Say the street name.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm on Mocal Drive.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Do you understand?
  
• SPEAKER_01: That's weird.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I probably suppose you don't believe.
  
• SPEAKER_01: that either, do you?
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, I don't believe that.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Why is that?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Because you said it's the street I live on.
  
• SPEAKER_01: That's not the street I live on.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's sure the hell is.
  
• SPEAKER_00: It's not.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Listen, Big Red told me I should...
  
• SPEAKER_00: So who are you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I want to put up a towel holder in my new residence.
  
• SPEAKER_00: But apparently that's...
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, really? What color?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, I haven't pulled the trigger yet on that one.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_00: But I need a hand up here, big guy.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And I need to put up here,
  
• SPEAKER_00: some new face plates for my power outlets.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And I thought you could give me a hand.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why did you think that?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Big Red said you're a helpful kind of guy.
  
• SPEAKER_00: He had to go to work.
  
• SPEAKER_00: But you've just given me nothing but a runaround up here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
  
• SPEAKER_00: So that's why I say.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should just come over and...
  
• SPEAKER_00: So that's why I say.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should just go to score with you here one time.
  
• SPEAKER_00: How about I come up and settle a score, big guy?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm going to level you with my bullwhip.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Bullwhip.
  
• SPEAKER_00: That's a good one.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And I may make it sense to you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm going to level you with my damn.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Bullwhip.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What'd you say?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Because I'll come up.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And I make it sense to you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm going to level you with down.
  
• None: Bullwhip.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's your name?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Jarvis.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's your real name, Jarvis?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Jarvis buzzer.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Put me into your job.
  
• SPEAKER_00: search engine. If you don't believe me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay. I'll plug it into my search engine. What would I find?
  
• SPEAKER_00: That I'm from normal Illinois. I just moved here about seven, ten days ago.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Put me into your search engine. If you don't believe me.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Why is it echoing like that?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I just moved here about ten days ago, seven, ten days ago.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, why do you keep echoing? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm new to the community over here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of software, voice manipulation or something, so this is like a prank call app.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm new to the community over here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Where do you have a computer rig that does it or what?
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're into software?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm new to the community over here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay. Well, why don't you take a break?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Get off your rear end and come help me like a real man with my towel holder.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Why don't you take a break? Get off your rear in and come help.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Turn off the reverb.
  
• SPEAKER_00: A real man with my towel holder.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Why don't you take a break?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Take off the reverb.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're going to call every day?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Call you every day?
  
• SPEAKER_01: That's right.
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, you're going to come over, help me with my pulley and my sander, like I originally asked, because it's a two-man job.
  
• SPEAKER_00: And then we'll call it good. I'll leave you be.
  
• SPEAKER_01: All right.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Okay. Goodbye.