Longmont Potion Castle 17 (2020)

Longmont Potion Castle 17

Track 2: Neighborhood Medley

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  • SPEAKER_02: Hello?
  • SPEAKER_00: Hello, this is Ned Strange with UPS.
  • SPEAKER_00: How are you tonight?
  • SPEAKER_02: What are you calling for?
  • SPEAKER_00: You got a package.
  • SPEAKER_02: And?
  • SPEAKER_00: And it's COD.
  • SPEAKER_00: No one answered the doorbell when we were there this morning.
  • SPEAKER_00: Is anyone going to be there this evening when we re-attempt to deliver?
  • SPEAKER_02: No, just give me the address and I'll go pick it up.
  • SPEAKER_00: Oh, no, we're already two stops away from you.
  • SPEAKER_00: We're going to be there in about 15 minutes.
  • SPEAKER_03: I don't care. I'll just pick it up.
  • SPEAKER_00: It's from homolasses.com.
  • SPEAKER_00: $78.98?
  • SPEAKER_00: Cash check or Visa.
  • SPEAKER_00: I'll pay you with a penis.
  • SPEAKER_00: Sir, can you please be professional?
  • SPEAKER_00: Hello?
  • SPEAKER_00: Joe?
  • SPEAKER_00: Yes.
  • SPEAKER_00: This is Barbara, your neighbor here around the corner.
  • SPEAKER_00: I'm just out of light bulbs tonight, guy.
  • SPEAKER_00: I could use a few light bulbs.
  • SPEAKER_00: If I could stop buying bars something, I'd consider it a big favor.
  • SPEAKER_00: Who I do?
  • SPEAKER_00: I'm Barbara. I live about three houses down.
  • SPEAKER_00: Okay? I'm new to the area.
  • SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're the one with a big truck on the left side when I go to Starbucks?
  • SPEAKER_00: Yes. Yes.
  • SPEAKER_01: Oh, see you need a couple of lightbel? I'll, I gave you as money you want. Come on and come over and take care of it.
  • SPEAKER_01: I usually don't answer the phone. It's Shabbat, you know, and I'm a religious guy, you know.
  • SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay. Well, I got a big problem here. I got about four light bulbs need to replace it. I can't see my driveway, my living room, my kitchen.
  • SPEAKER_00: I can't see.
  • SPEAKER_01: Okay. Well, like I said, I'm a little.
  • SPEAKER_01: that they did answer, but usually I don't answer the phone.
  • SPEAKER_01: According to my religion, I sort of this.
  • SPEAKER_01: Come over and I'll take care of you.
  • SPEAKER_00: I'll be there in five minutes.
  • SPEAKER_00: And listen, I could use about, oh, $20, $25, okay, to get a handyman to come by.
  • SPEAKER_00: Okay, so if I could borrow $25.
  • SPEAKER_01: You're going to use the wrong man, then.
  • SPEAKER_00: I consider it.
  • SPEAKER_01: If you're asking me for money, somebody else, no, I don't want to give you nothing.
  • SPEAKER_00: I consider it a big, big favor for $40.
  • SPEAKER_01: No, no, I don't. No, no, forget about it.
  • SPEAKER_00: $45, we're done.
  • SPEAKER_00: Hello?
  • SPEAKER_00: Hey, Joe.
  • SPEAKER_00: guy, $50, we're done.
  • SPEAKER_00: This is Barbara, okay?
  • SPEAKER_00: And I'll be there in 10 minutes with my truck, okay?
  • SPEAKER_01: And you know, I'm not giving you nothing.
  • SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm the wrong man for me.
  • SPEAKER_01: You already said you were going to...
  • SPEAKER_01: I'm 92 years and you're going to ask me for money.
  • SPEAKER_01: I'm going to give you money.
  • SPEAKER_01: Forget it.
  • SPEAKER_00: You already said yes, though, for the light bulbs, right?
  • SPEAKER_00: Hello?
  • SPEAKER_00: Hey, Joe, this is Marsha.
  • SPEAKER_00: Guy, you, my friend, Barbara, $75.
  • SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you something.
  • SPEAKER_01: If you're not going to fuck off, I have your phone number.
  • SPEAKER_01: and I'm going to call the police and you will be in jail.
  • SPEAKER_01: I don't have nothing for you.
  • SPEAKER_01: Your motherfucker lay off for me.
  • SPEAKER_01: $75.
  • SPEAKER_01: You're a son of a bitch.
  • SPEAKER_00: $80.
  • SPEAKER_01: You're just someone to say, I'm going to give you your motherfucker criminal.
  • SPEAKER_01: You just keep on talking.
  • SPEAKER_01: I'm going to call the police right now.
  • SPEAKER_01: I have your phone number now on my phone.
  • SPEAKER_01: So lay off.
  • SPEAKER_00: $90.
  • SPEAKER_01: If you want to stay alive, lay off, you son of a bitch.
  • SPEAKER_01: My three sons will.
  • SPEAKER_01: tell you.
  • SPEAKER_00: $100 bill.
  • SPEAKER_00: Yo, Bill?
  • SPEAKER_02: Yes, sir.
  • SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
  • SPEAKER_00: This is Paco.
  • SPEAKER_00: I live down the dirt road up.
  • SPEAKER_02: Got the dirt road?
  • SPEAKER_00: Yes, sir.
  • SPEAKER_02: Okay.
  • SPEAKER_02: No, this dirt's getting to you.
  • SPEAKER_00: This dirt's pining.
  • SPEAKER_00: What are you doing for living?
  • SPEAKER_00: What did you say?
  • SPEAKER_03: What are you doing here on this earth?
  • SPEAKER_00: I need somebody to rub my toes.
  • SPEAKER_03: Interrupt your code.
  • SPEAKER_00: My toe bones.
  • SPEAKER_03: Cobalt.
  • SPEAKER_00: And my foot.
  • SPEAKER_03: You've got a hole in your foot.
  • SPEAKER_00: I need somebody to rub my foot.
  • SPEAKER_03: Well, they call the 911 and they'll be right over.
  • SPEAKER_00: Why don't you come over and help me out here?
  • SPEAKER_03: I don't know where you are.
  • SPEAKER_00: I'm down the dirt road like I told you.
  • SPEAKER_03: We don't have any.
  • SPEAKER_03: Third Rose in Waco.
  • SPEAKER_03: Hey, buddy.
  • SPEAKER_00: Come on down here and rub my toes, okay?
  • SPEAKER_03: I'll send my girlfriend.
  • SPEAKER_00: I'll give you four or five dollars.
  • SPEAKER_03: I'll call 911 for you.
  • SPEAKER_00: You want me to come by and rub your butt up?
  • SPEAKER_03: I think you're pretty nasty.
  • SPEAKER_03: What do you say?
  • SPEAKER_03: I don't think I want to talk to you.
  • SPEAKER_00: What are you going to do?
  • SPEAKER_00: Go to the barbecue?
  • SPEAKER_03: No, I'm going to hang up on you.
  • SPEAKER_00: What the heck for?
  • SPEAKER_03: Somebody's,
  • SPEAKER_03: nasty. Tell us stories. Nothing wrong with your foot.
  • SPEAKER_00: I need some lip lotion on my lips.
  • SPEAKER_03: You can go, go call somebody else.
  • SPEAKER_00: Why don't you go lay an egg, partner?