Track 5: LPC 19 Medley 2

• SPEAKER_09: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hello. My name's Dale, Pigtail. I'm calling from Mission Beach Parking Enforcement.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Are we today, sir?
  
• SPEAKER_09: I'm doing okay. Your name again is?
  
• SPEAKER_01: My name is Dale. I'm with Mission Beach parking enforcement. Yes, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_09: D-A-L-E?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Correct.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Okay, do you have a last name, Dale?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Pig-T-A-L-E.
  
• SPEAKER_01: P-I-G-T-A-L-E.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yes, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Is this a legitimate call?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Sir, I'm Native American.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Okay, thank you. I'm sorry.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I just had some weird encounters in that area lately.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I have a report on my desk here that apparently you were operating an unsafe vehicle
  
• SPEAKER_01: and did some damage to some park vehicles in the area there.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Oh, that's absolutely false.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's absolutely false.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Actually, I've had somebody.
  
• SPEAKER_09: damage my vehicle.
  
• SPEAKER_09: That's why I'm asking you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Damage your vehicle.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Correct.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, I have a report here of some erratic driving and that you did some damage to two parked cars.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I'm not going to entertain.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I'm not going to entertain this because my car was, in fact, damaged there, and there was someone
  
• SPEAKER_09: who actually left a very offensive note on the car there, threatening me and sexual violence,
  
• SPEAKER_09: against me and obviously has been targeting me, and I have the notes that they left,
  
• SPEAKER_09: and I will not be responding to your comments.
  
• SPEAKER_09: If you would like to respond with my lawyers, I will do that.
  
• SPEAKER_09: But other than that, I am being targeted by somebody unfairly there,
  
• SPEAKER_09: who I believe is a patron of that beach who is there every single day
  
• SPEAKER_09: and has been obsessively targeting me there, and I am no longer again going to respond.
  
• SPEAKER_01: you or anyone else, you've got a ticket for $970.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, I don't.
  
• SPEAKER_01: For restitution.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yes, we do, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_09: No.
  
• SPEAKER_09: You can't give me a ticket over the phone.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Sorry.
  
• SPEAKER_01: $970 if you want to use a credit card.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, Don.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Yes.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, yeah, this is local.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I just moved in in the neighborhood here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: How are you doing?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Good.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Excellent.
  
• SPEAKER_01: We have the same dentist, it turns out.
  
• SPEAKER_01: That's where I got your phone number from.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh, from Dr. Rethmire?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so that was where I got it from.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I told him, I lived here, and he gave me the number.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you're busy.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't know anybody else in the area, and I got a new bike.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I was just going to maybe stop by.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Maybe you could show me how to ride it.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I never learned how to ride the bicycle.
  
• SPEAKER_03: No, I think you've got the wrong guy here.
  
• SPEAKER_03: First of all, my doctor is a female, and I don't teach bicycle.
  
• SPEAKER_01: riding? Well, no, I know you're not an instructor, but I could really use the help. I need to
  
• SPEAKER_01: ride around, you know, learn the area. So I'll just drop by.
  
• SPEAKER_03: No, don't drop by them. Don't drop by it. Don't drop by. This is too weird.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, just for a couple minutes. It won't take long. I'm a quick learner. Real quick learner.
  
• SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, no, man. This is too bizarre. We can't have this.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, I got a saxophone. I could give you. Free a charge just for showing me. I mean, listen.
  
• SPEAKER_03: No. No, man, no deal. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't have a saxophone. I can't. I can't have a saxophone. I can't. I
  
• SPEAKER_03: We can't have anything more to do with this. This is too weird. And I don't teach bicycle riding. Okay?
  
• SPEAKER_01: See, it's a quality instrument here.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Ram's office. This is Sharon. Can I help you?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hi. I came in there about three, four days ago. I had some eye care done up here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And I'm just seeing lines and different shapes. I'm seeing a triangle every time I turn around up here. I'm not sure what's going on.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Okay. And your last name?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Knox.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay. Okay. I had my pupils dilated.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay. And I can't tell what the heck's going on over here.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Okay. And what's your birthday?
  
• SPEAKER_01: My birthday? Well, it's already passed. It happened last month.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, what is it? Your birthday.
  
• SPEAKER_01: But I'm seeing spheres and I'm seeing brick walls and I can't see.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's your birthday? I'm a ma'am? I can't see over here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's your birthday?
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's in July.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I need the actual first date in year.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_01: On the year is 1970.
  
• SPEAKER_04: All right.
  
• SPEAKER_04: What was the date?
  
• SPEAKER_01: July what?
  
• SPEAKER_01: 35th.
  
• SPEAKER_04: There is no July 35.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, I'm 35.
  
• SPEAKER_04: July 35th, 19.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Correct.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yes, I can't see straight, ma'am.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Every time I turn around, I'm running into things.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I can find your file.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I got a glass of water.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And I poured it over my shoulder because I can't even see what I'm doing.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's a mess.
  
• SPEAKER_04: You can call back when you're more serious.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hi, yes.
  
• SPEAKER_01: My name's Ernie, Quasimodo.
  
• SPEAKER_01: How are you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Fine.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What's this regarding?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've got a few hundred words written that I wanted to send to you on this reincarnated pterodactal.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Have you been following this at all?
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, I don't have any idea what you're talking about.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's a reincarnated pterodactal out of the Buda Khan area.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I've got about 500 words and just some kind of low-res pictures.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm working on getting better ones.
  
• SPEAKER_00: That's really not even my forte.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm into ghost.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hauntings and Poltekeyes phenomenon.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, in that same area of the Buda Khan, there's a tranquilized chupacabra that they've got in captivity at this point in time.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, you know,
  
• SPEAKER_00: You'd actually be better off speaking to somebody in cryptozoology.
  
• SPEAKER_00: They're more savvy with that type of material than I am.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to reach those folks.
  
• SPEAKER_01: How about that euthanized ogle-pogo that there was recently photos?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Again, you're all talking about crypto zoology.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You're talking about, you know, unknown creatures and things of that nature.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm into ghost haunting and poltergeist phenomenon, is what I do.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Have you heard of the cannibal bat?
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, I have not.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, it's Ernie.
  
• SPEAKER_01: How are you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: As I told you yesterday, I'm not really into that kind of stuff.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Buddy, I got this whole thing with this reincarnated turidactyl.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I got it.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Because it's not my expertise.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What are you working with?
  
• SPEAKER_00: I told you yesterday.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Ghost haunting a poltergeist phenomenon.
  
• SPEAKER_01: But this tranquilized chupacabra, don't you want to look at it?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I've got video.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Not really.
  
• SPEAKER_01: They're going to miniatize.
  
• SPEAKER_01: this thing and send it around.
  
• SPEAKER_01: They're going to send it to...
  
• SPEAKER_00: You need to talk to somebody, as I told you yesterday in crypto zoology,
  
• SPEAKER_00: that had it more of an expertise in it than I would.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but let's look at some video together.
  
• SPEAKER_01: They're going to euthanize this...
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm really not interested, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_01: They got an ogopogo at the Boudicone here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yes?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll send you a PayPal payment.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Just as a deposit.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Just to...
  
• SPEAKER_01: Send you some video and have your opinion.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Send back to me just...
  
• SPEAKER_01: Send me an email.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm not an expert, so I can't give you an expert opinion.
  
• SPEAKER_01: On which one?
  
• SPEAKER_00: On any of them.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm not a cryptozoologist.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Don't you understand that?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but you're interested in the pterodactyl, aren't you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm interested in ghost, hauntings, and poltergeist phenomena.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, then this video of the chupacabra is going to drive you wild.
  
• SPEAKER_00: A cobra is a cryptozoological manifestation.
  
• SPEAKER_00: It has nothing to do with ghosts, hauntings, or poltergeist phenomena phenomena.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, but I talked to Gavin Conklin.
  
• SPEAKER_00: That might be fine with him, but I don't know anything about Gavin, whoever you just mentioned.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Gavin Conklin.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Gavin Conklin said that you could appreciate my videotape that I got here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I don't even know Gavin, so I don't know how he's recommending people for me to look at cryptozoological stuff.
  
• SPEAKER_01: They're going to euthanize a dragonfish if I don't get together with you here.
  
• SPEAKER_00: No, sir, I really don't want to get any more into this, and I really wish you would stop calling here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'll send you a PayPal payment.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, just for an hour.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I really don't want a PayPal payment.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I really just, you know, if you really want to talk to somebody who's really interested,
  
• SPEAKER_00: Google Cryptozoologists here in the United States, and there's a whole bunch that we'll pull up.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'll bring some notches over.
  
• SPEAKER_01: We can watch this video today.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It'll be dynamite.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Watch up.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hi, yeah, I was looking for like a 30-day loan.
  
• SPEAKER_08: So the loan periods are 30 days, but you don't have to pick up the loan.
  
• SPEAKER_08: After that 30, you just have to pay up the loan.
  
• SPEAKER_08: the interest charge, and every time you put the interest charge, it extends that loan 30 days point.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay, great. I've got a Lebanese lamb. What would I get monetarily for something like that?
  
• SPEAKER_08: So like an animal? Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Watch up. Hey, yeah, I think we got cut off up there.
  
• SPEAKER_08: No, I hung up on you because I figured you were messing with me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Messing with you. I'm just trying to get a dollar amount.
  
• SPEAKER_08: Okay. Well, you and your lamb can go fuck themselves. If you're that or you, you're that,
  
• SPEAKER_08: it's harder to think a pawn shop. We take a live animal and I have to explain that to you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm surprised you can breathe on your own. Hey, how about I come up there on body blow.
  
• SPEAKER_08: Oh yeah, come on up, bud. I left you. I'm here till seven. Come by anytime. Body blow, body blow. How's that
  
• SPEAKER_08: sound? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're not going to. But go ahead. Hey, tough guy. I got a machete.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What do you think of that? I can bring it up there. Oh, I'm shaking. Yeah. I bet. Because it's going to be
  
• SPEAKER_01: body blow, body blow. And then my freaking machete.
  
• SPEAKER_08: Eddie. Yeah, odds are you're not coming up here. Have a great day.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Who is us?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Tony. You there?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, who is it?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is Stevie Buckeye. I'm your new neighbor here. I got your number from the mailman.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What do you want?
  
• SPEAKER_01: There's been some theft in the neighborhood, okay, guy? My neighbor and myself are missing some stuff.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I just want to drop by and get a saliva sample from you, just to exclude you.
  
• SPEAKER_08: If you call me here again, I'll fucking kill.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah. Look, we just want to swab you and exclude you. That's all we're trying to do, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_02: What the fuck are you talking to? Listen to out. Listen to this fucking idiot. Go ahead. Please,
  
• SPEAKER_01: keep fucking talking. Hey, I'm your new neighbor. We're going to swab you and that's all we're trying to do.
  
• SPEAKER_01: We're just trying to exclude you, man. All right.
  
• SPEAKER_02: What's the fucking idiot. Hey, um, you need to just continue this conversation.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm. And, um, eliminate our number from
  
• SPEAKER_02: your phone. Once we get the saliva sample, we'll be done. Eliminate our number from your phone
  
• SPEAKER_02: right now. Otherwise, I will have lawyers on your shit. Do you got it? Good. We need your saliva, too.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You understand? Hello? Yeah, buddy, I want your and the lady's saliva tonight. All right? That's two
  
• SPEAKER_01: samples we want tonight. You understand? You understand what the hell I'm talking about? You can't even
  
• SPEAKER_01: ask for that. Well, I just did.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Oh, that's nice. I can ask you for a fucking sperm sample and a fucking blood sample. It doesn't mean
  
• SPEAKER_01: you're going to give it to me. Well, I'm not guilty, am I?
  
• SPEAKER_07: Guilty of what? What the fuck are you talking about? There's been some thefts in the area. We just want
  
• SPEAKER_01: to exclude you so we need your saliva sample, period. That's it. Bob's your uncle. Well, first of all,
  
• SPEAKER_07: we don't steal. Second of all, there's no need for us to steal because we probably own more than you do.
  
• SPEAKER_07: So you can suck my dick, lick my left.
  
• SPEAKER_07: nut and suck my asshole, bro.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Look, why don't you just be professional?
  
• SPEAKER_07: You can't ask for a fucking sample. Who the fucking you would ask for anything?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm new to the area here, tough guy.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, Arthur.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, it's Jackie Broadband.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm just new to the area here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: My neighbor and I have been having some stuff go missing.
  
• SPEAKER_01: There's been some theft in the area.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So I just wanted to stop by and get a saliva sample from you just so we can
  
• SPEAKER_01: to exclude you from the investigation, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_09: Who are you?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Jackie Broadband here.
  
• SPEAKER_09: So what does that mean?
  
• SPEAKER_01: That's my name.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_01: There's been some theft, real serious stuff.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Theft.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I have no idea you all see you not doing nothing with me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: We just need your saliva. That's it.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Just takes a minute of your time.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't really care what you need.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, I know a lip reader.
  
• SPEAKER_01: He said he saw you talking about this.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So you're going to say he's a liar?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Lose my fucking number.
  
• SPEAKER_06: How's that?
  
• SPEAKER_06: You understand English?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why don't you just let us swab you and get it over with?
  
• SPEAKER_01: We just want to exclude you.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Why do you lose my fucking number before I call the police on you?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Are you saying the lip reader's a liar?
  
• SPEAKER_01: What are you saying?
  
• SPEAKER_06: I'm saying you're a fucking asshole.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You sound guilty to me.
  
• SPEAKER_06: You sound like your mother's a fucking saggot.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Is she?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Listen, just give us your saliva and we'll call it good.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Bob's your uncle.
  
• SPEAKER_01: End the story.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Listen.
  
• SPEAKER_06: You listening?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_06: You're a fucking faggot.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I hate faggots.
  
• SPEAKER_06: You need to be shot.
  
• SPEAKER_06: You have no life.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Fuck off.
  
• SPEAKER_06: We're done.
  
• SPEAKER_06: And lose my number.
  
• SPEAKER_10: Hello.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, Joe.
  
• SPEAKER_10: Yes.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, this is Guido, Frisbee.
  
• SPEAKER_01: How are you doing?
  
• SPEAKER_10: I still don't know who you are.
  
• SPEAKER_10: Why don't you explain me?
  
• SPEAKER_10: Who you're working for?
  
• SPEAKER_10: Why are you calling me?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_01: My name's Guido.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I just live down the street from you, and I was going to stop by and fix up your yard.
  
• SPEAKER_01: trim the grass and pull the weeds and everything.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I do that for you and you just give me $75 and we're done, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_10: I don't want to give you $0.75. I have a guard now. What's wrong with you?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'll be there.
  
• SPEAKER_10: I don't know you and I don't hire anybody. I have people to work for me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm going to do the best job ever on your grass.
  
• SPEAKER_10: If I tell you to do it, you lay off before you call the police for you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: $100, we're done, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_10: What is this?
  
• SPEAKER_10: What is this?
  
• SPEAKER_10: Why?
  
• SPEAKER_10: There's cold in here.
  
• SPEAKER_10: Huh?
  
• SPEAKER_10: It's freezing in this room.
  
• SPEAKER_10: If you walk out here, it's like 10 degrees warm.
  
• SPEAKER_10: You walk in there.
  
• SPEAKER_10: What can I do?
  
• SPEAKER_10: You should put a portable heater in here.
  
• SPEAKER_10: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, Joe.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm going to bring you a portable heater, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_10: Let me explain you, you're your son of a bitch.
  
• SPEAKER_10: I have a soldier that came here, my grandson, and he's going to shoot you to pieces.
  
• SPEAKER_10: To pieces, you're going to shoot you, son of a bitch.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's the problem?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hi, what's going on?
  
• SPEAKER_01: This is Guido?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Who the fuck are you?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm new in the neighborhood here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I got a heater for Joe.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Just a hundred bucks.
  
• SPEAKER_01: That's all I need.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's a good heater.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Dude, you come over, I swear to God, I'll fucking blow your nuts off.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You need a heater?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I have one for sale.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's $100.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It puts out so much heat you won't believe it.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, come with the heater and see what I'll fucking do to you, a piece of shit.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You want to test it out?
  
• SPEAKER_05: My fucking veteran, trust me, I have no problem killing you.
  
• SPEAKER_05: And I'll fucking kill you in your entire fucking family.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, forget the heater.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Why don't it just lower the temperature, right the freak back down?
  
• SPEAKER_01: You feel me?