Longmont Potion Castle 16 (2019)
Track 6: LPC 16 Medley 2
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SPEAKER_02: Hello?
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SPEAKER_02: Emilio.
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SPEAKER_05: Yes, who's calling?
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SPEAKER_02: This is Guy.
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SPEAKER_02: All right?
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SPEAKER_02: And listen, I need to borrow you guys' living room.
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SPEAKER_02: I got your number online.
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SPEAKER_02: We're just looking to have a friendly card game.
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SPEAKER_02: Just need to borrow your living room for a couple hours.
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SPEAKER_05: I don't even know who you are.
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SPEAKER_02: It's fine.
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SPEAKER_02: Not a problem.
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SPEAKER_02: Not a problem there.
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SPEAKER_05: No, but I don't do stuff like that.
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SPEAKER_05: I don't even know who guy is.
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SPEAKER_02: Like what?
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SPEAKER_02: That's me.
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SPEAKER_02: Huh?
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SPEAKER_02: I don't even know you.
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SPEAKER_02: Well, we're going to get together and play cards, aren't we?
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SPEAKER_02: You'll get to know me then.
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SPEAKER_05: I don't even know you.
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SPEAKER_05: Why would I get together with you?
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SPEAKER_02: Well, I got cigars, I got poker chips, I got a deck of cards.
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SPEAKER_02: I got about three or four good old boys with me.
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SPEAKER_02: It'll be a great time.
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SPEAKER_02: It'll be a great time.
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SPEAKER_05: I don't even know you.
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SPEAKER_05: We're going to call in this number.
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SPEAKER_02: We're going to borrow your living room this week, okay, for about two hours.
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SPEAKER_05: Quit calling this number.
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SPEAKER_02: What's a good time to come up there?
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SPEAKER_05: What's wrong with you?
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SPEAKER_05: Are you, have mental issues or what?
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SPEAKER_02: No.
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SPEAKER_02: Do you guys have any ground beef?
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SPEAKER_02: up there because we need to cook some stew and stuff when we get there, okay?
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SPEAKER_02: I'll be there tomorrow.
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SPEAKER_02: We can just work it out between 7 and 9 o'clock at night, okay?
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SPEAKER_05: No, you are.
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SPEAKER_05: I think you need to take some mental medication.
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SPEAKER_02: What's that supposed to mean?
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SPEAKER_02: This is going to be a Wednesday night card game.
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SPEAKER_05: That means you're a crazy guy.
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SPEAKER_02: It's going to be a Thursday night card game.
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SPEAKER_02: That's all there is to it.
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SPEAKER_05: No, there's nothing to it.
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SPEAKER_05: You're just a weirdo.
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SPEAKER_02: Hey, I got your number online.
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SPEAKER_02: I got your number online.
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SPEAKER_05: Where did you get it?
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SPEAKER_05: What do you mean online?
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SPEAKER_05: From where?
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SPEAKER_02: Aren't you in the community?
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SPEAKER_02: Are you in the community?
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SPEAKER_02: or aren't you?
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SPEAKER_05: No.
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SPEAKER_02: No.
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SPEAKER_02: What do you mean?
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SPEAKER_02: No?
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SPEAKER_05: I'm not.
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SPEAKER_02: Look, just go pick up some ground beef and set up your card table and then we'll be there at
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SPEAKER_02: 7 o'clock.
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SPEAKER_02: Okay, 7 o'clock, okay?
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SPEAKER_02: 7 o'clock sharp.
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SPEAKER_05: No, quit call in this number.
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SPEAKER_02: I will because we're just going to come over, all right?
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SPEAKER_02: And then have your...
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SPEAKER_05: Oh, you're a weirdo, man.
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SPEAKER_02: What is that supposed to me?
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SPEAKER_05: Let me report you to the police officers for harassment.
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SPEAKER_02: It's sworn in the Bible.
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SPEAKER_02: It will occur.
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SPEAKER_02: Guy.
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SPEAKER_02: Guy.
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SPEAKER_02: Guy.
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SPEAKER_02: Cox.
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SPEAKER_02: And what's your address?
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SPEAKER_02: Yeah, buddy, I got your number online.
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SPEAKER_02: You know, you...
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SPEAKER_05: It doesn't matter where you got my number.
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SPEAKER_02: You signed up for this, don't you know?
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SPEAKER_05: I didn't sign up for anything.
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, the heck you didn't.
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SPEAKER_05: Let me have your address.
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SPEAKER_02: What's your address?
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None: So we could go over there with a police officer and get this squared away.
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None: I am the embodiment of God.
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SPEAKER_05: I am.
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SPEAKER_05: You need to take some medication.
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SPEAKER_02: I got a six-pack of beer.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm going to show up with a beer and some cards and a cigars.
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SPEAKER_05: Well, I'm going to show up with a fucking gun and blow your fucking brains out if you keep
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SPEAKER_05: fucking with me.
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SPEAKER_02: We're just going to play a friendly game with cards.
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SPEAKER_02: You're going to love it.
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SPEAKER_02: You're going to love it.
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SPEAKER_05: If you want to fucking die, come fuck with me then.
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SPEAKER_02: A piece of shit.
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SPEAKER_02: Quit calling over here.
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SPEAKER_02: Dino.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm going to bring Rai.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm going to bring them all over with me.
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SPEAKER_04: Hello.
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SPEAKER_02: Yeah, hello.
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SPEAKER_02: Is John there?
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SPEAKER_04: Who's this?
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SPEAKER_02: This is Dewey.
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SPEAKER_02: I just moved in around the way from you guys a couple days ago.
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SPEAKER_02: How's it going?
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SPEAKER_04: I don't know you.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm your new neighbor.
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SPEAKER_02: I noticed you were outside last couple days, and I'm a whipmaster.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm a whipmaster.
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SPEAKER_02: I go outside and I use my horse whip.
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SPEAKER_02: And so I want to make sure you're going to be inside today or out of the way for safety.
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SPEAKER_02: Okay.
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SPEAKER_02: Where do you live?
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SPEAKER_02: I just live.
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SPEAKER_02: live across the way.
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SPEAKER_02: So I just want to get with you and make sure everybody.
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SPEAKER_04: Come to the apartment number.
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SPEAKER_02: Hey, I'm new to the area, all right.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm checking with you.
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SPEAKER_02: What do you want me to do?
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SPEAKER_02: What do you suggest I do?
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SPEAKER_04: How did you get this number?
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SPEAKER_02: Old Ironsides gave me the number at the gas station here.
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SPEAKER_02: It's a friend of mine up.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay.
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SPEAKER_04: You're not making any sense and I don't trust you.
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SPEAKER_02: Hey, buddy.
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SPEAKER_02: I use a number.
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SPEAKER_02: a whip. I'm an honest man.
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SPEAKER_02: And I'm just looking out for you.
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SPEAKER_04: You're looking out for me.
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SPEAKER_02: Yes, I am. I got a 28-foot horse whip.
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SPEAKER_02: I get that thing spinning around. That looks like a propeller flying through the air.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay. And so where are you going to use this horsewhip?
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SPEAKER_02: Well, that's what I'm asking. You got a better place than others I can get practicing. I was just going to go right outside.
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SPEAKER_02: Yes. Yes.
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SPEAKER_04: Well, I guess when I see you outside, we'll talk then.
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SPEAKER_04: Other than that, don't call me again.
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SPEAKER_02: Well, don't come outside.
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SPEAKER_02: You understand?
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm making sense to you.
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SPEAKER_04: And your name is?
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SPEAKER_02: I'm Dewey, and Old Ironsides gave me your phone number.
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SPEAKER_02: Okay.
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SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
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SPEAKER_04: You have to give me a better name than Old Ironsides.
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SPEAKER_02: You got to be kidding me here, Jack.
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SPEAKER_04: No, it'd be John.
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SPEAKER_04: And no, I'm not kidding you.
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SPEAKER_04: Give me a better name.
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SPEAKER_02: Well, they call me the Scorpion.
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SPEAKER_02: That's what they call me.
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SPEAKER_02: I get that whip-
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SPEAKER_02: I want to know.
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SPEAKER_02: I want to know.
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SPEAKER_04: I want to know old Ironside's name.
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SPEAKER_04: Yes.
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SPEAKER_02: Yes.
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SPEAKER_02: Well, he's up at the filling station up there down the road.
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SPEAKER_02: It's a good guy, straight shooter up.
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SPEAKER_02: Real straight shooter up.
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SPEAKER_04: Well, I'll guarantee.
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SPEAKER_04: you, I'm a straight shooter, too, and I'll kill your fucking ass if I got to. So don't fucking
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SPEAKER_04: call me again.
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SPEAKER_02: Don't fiddle with me, guy.
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SPEAKER_05: Hello?
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SPEAKER_02: Hi, Nancy.
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SPEAKER_05: Who is this thing?
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SPEAKER_02: I'm Chester. I'm your new neighbor. And listen, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm new to the area here.
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SPEAKER_01: What neighbor? Where are you my neighbor?
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm just round the corner off to the right there. My phone, it actually doesn't have,
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SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry, what town are you even talking about?
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, sure, sure.
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SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have an eight, so I needed to borrow your phone.
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SPEAKER_02: I got to make a very important call.
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SPEAKER_05: What are you talking?
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SPEAKER_05: What are you talking about?
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SPEAKER_02: If I maybe pay you some money, I need to make a very important phone call, Nancy, here tonight.
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SPEAKER_02: And my phone doesn't have the numeral eight on it, you know?
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SPEAKER_02: I don't know we've never met, but I'd consider it a big, big favorite.
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SPEAKER_01: And I am not your neighbor.
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, you are, yeah. Oh, yeah. I walked by when you were outside. Oh, sure. Oh, uh-huh, ha, ha, ha, just for a few minutes.
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SPEAKER_02: And I'm not there now anyway. Well, I can meet you when it's convenient for you. My phone does not have an eight. It does not have it. And I'm sorry, I'm going to make a phone call.
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SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry. You're going to have to get your own phone.
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SPEAKER_02: No, I'll just go to your door and wait for you to come home. And then when you get home, we'll get on the phone.
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SPEAKER_01: No, you will not, sir. I'll call the police. The police. You are not going to wait at my door. I'll just wait in the back.
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SPEAKER_02: I'll just wait in the backyard and then when you get home.
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SPEAKER_02: No, you are not going to wait.
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SPEAKER_05: Why is that?
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SPEAKER_02: I get home.
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SPEAKER_02: I will call the police.
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SPEAKER_02: Don't call the police.
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SPEAKER_02: Good luck.
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SPEAKER_00: Sergeant Papers, how may I help you?
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SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Sergeant, I've got an opossum here.
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SPEAKER_02: He took off with my wristwatch and my
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SPEAKER_02: billfold, and this thing is running, wow.
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SPEAKER_02: So I need an officer out here.
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SPEAKER_01: A year calling the Indiana State Police.
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SPEAKER_02: Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
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SPEAKER_01: Where are you located?
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SPEAKER_02: I'm up here in Monroe County.
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SPEAKER_00: You need to call in Monroe Sheriff's Department.
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SPEAKER_02: Well, we need to get a constable up here. This thing has my wristwatch, sir.
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SPEAKER_02: Can you send someone by and tase this animal?
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SPEAKER_00: You're a joke.
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SPEAKER_02: Hello?
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SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Ryan.
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SPEAKER_04: Yes.
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SPEAKER_02: Is this Ryan?
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SPEAKER_04: Yes, it is.
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SPEAKER_02: Huh, that doesn't sound like you.
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SPEAKER_01: And who is this?
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SPEAKER_01: It is a defining moment, and God's people are going to be vindicated, and the world is going to be judged.
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SPEAKER_01: It's final.
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SPEAKER_01: You can take that to the bank.
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SPEAKER_01: We're done.
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SPEAKER_01: We're talking about leaving the earth.
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SPEAKER_02: You got me?
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SPEAKER_01: Okay.
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SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_02: First thing tomorrow.
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SPEAKER_02: morning. Get your fishing rod and your hairbrush and meet me outside and we'll put our forces
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SPEAKER_02: together. You know what I mean?
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SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure. Stick your chin up towards the sky and wait for salvation kind of thing.
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SPEAKER_02: Bright and early tomorrow.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you think so? With fishing?
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SPEAKER_02: Well, that comes later. You know, you'll find out about it after I do. Not before.
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SPEAKER_02: You got me straight there, Ryan, because I'm leading the charge here. Oh, big time. Oh,
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SPEAKER_02: yeah. Oh, really?
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SPEAKER_02: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_02: So I'll get with you about six.
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SPEAKER_02: 7 a.m. I'll brush your hair, make sure you're presentable.
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SPEAKER_04: Sound good? Okay. Sounds great.
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SPEAKER_02: You're tough, tough, tough, tough. Oh, big time. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, did you want to
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SPEAKER_02: maybe come by and look at my posters? I got a Jacqueline Smith poster. Jacklin Smith. Real nice.
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SPEAKER_02: About eight feet tall poster I got from the 70s.
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SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
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SPEAKER_02: I want to take a good look at it. She's got a helmet on, but trust me, she looks. She looks good.
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SPEAKER_02: Good, dude. Good.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah?
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: What are the kind of posters you got?
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SPEAKER_02: Hot stuff. Hot stuff. Got that lady from Sesame Street, but it was before she was on Sesame Street.
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SPEAKER_02: Real different.
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SPEAKER_02: We're going to get real different tomorrow, and we'll watch some electric company.
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, I hope so. All right? Some reruns.
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SPEAKER_04: I would love to.
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, good. I'll see you then.
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah. Oh, uh-huh. Bye-bye.
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SPEAKER_05: Hello?
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SPEAKER_02: Hello?
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SPEAKER_05: Yeah. Hi.
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SPEAKER_02: Hi. I'm looking for some, you know, some marshmallows, you know?
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SPEAKER_05: Some marshmallows?
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SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just like two or three ounces, two or three grams, whatever you got.
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SPEAKER_02: Who is who is this?
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SPEAKER_02: This is Percival.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm driving right now, you know, so I can be there, you know, before you close. Just help me out.
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SPEAKER_05: Our store closes at 8 o'clock.
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SPEAKER_02: Come on, I just need some marshmallows.
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SPEAKER_05: I don't know. We might have rice crisps, but we don't have any marshmallows.
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SPEAKER_02: Oh.
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SPEAKER_02: Come on, hook me up. You can do it. You got a globulo bar?
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SPEAKER_05: No, we got no gooey things.
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SPEAKER_05: Just gems in jewelry.
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SPEAKER_02: If I brought my own.
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SPEAKER_02: straw, like a flexible
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SPEAKER_02: straw, can I just go ahead and dip it into
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SPEAKER_02: whatever I need?
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SPEAKER_03: I don't know, man.
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SPEAKER_03: You have some weird trip you're going on, huh?
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SPEAKER_02: I'm ready to do a transaction,
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SPEAKER_02: my dear woman.
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SPEAKER_05: Yeah?
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SPEAKER_05: I don't know. I don't know if I have a transaction
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SPEAKER_05: that's good for you.
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SPEAKER_02: I think we can put something together mathematically
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SPEAKER_02: and it'll job just fine.
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SPEAKER_02: If you're reading my mail on that one?
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SPEAKER_05: You need your mail?
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SPEAKER_05: All right, why did you send me an email?
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SPEAKER_02: Let me just dip my straw
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SPEAKER_02: onto whatever I need.
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SPEAKER_05: Sounds fun, man.
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SPEAKER_05: I wish I had some of what you're on.
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SPEAKER_02: I'll be there within the hour and we'll get dipping.
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SPEAKER_02: We'll get dipping high and low and in between.
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SPEAKER_03: I'll be there within the hour and we'll get dipping.
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SPEAKER_03: We'll get dipping high and low and in between.
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SPEAKER_03: Sounds good.
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SPEAKER_03: I'll be there within the hour and we'll get dipping.
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SPEAKER_03: We'll get dipping high and low and in between.
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SPEAKER_03: Sound good.
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SPEAKER_03: I'll be there.
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SPEAKER_03: within the hour and we'll get dipping. We'll get dipping high and low and in between.
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SPEAKER_03: Sound good.