Track 1: LPC 16 Medley 1

• SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hello.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hi, this is Sasha.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm a whip master.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm smacked by a whip through the air,
  
• SPEAKER_04: and I'm going to be outside practicing.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I just want you to make sure you clear the area
  
• SPEAKER_04: and stay out of my side, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_00: What the hell is the matter with you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: A human being sick?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I use a whip.
  
• SPEAKER_04: A horse whip.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Okay, and I'm going to call the police right now.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Come over, and I'm going to get to the police right now.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hey, hey, guy.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to be outside here in a minute.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Okay, and I'm going to be...
  
• SPEAKER_04: You better fuck off.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Fuck off, you mothervoker.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to use my will.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to snap my...
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're the son of my bag.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Stay out of my way.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_04: This is Brannigan with UPS calling?
  
• SPEAKER_05: I don't think I have a UPS package going anywhere.
  
• SPEAKER_04: No, we have one that we're attempting to deliver for the past week.
  
• SPEAKER_04: No one answered the buzzer, according to my notes here.
  
• SPEAKER_05: At what?
  
• SPEAKER_05: I'm a traveling comedian.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Right now, I'm in Chicago.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Where is the address that you're trying to deliver a practice?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Oh, we're far from Chicago, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_04: So when are you going to be returning to the residential delivery that we can complete our COD?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't.
  
• SPEAKER_06: You haven't told me the address.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Is it in Arizona or is it in Phoenix?
  
• SPEAKER_06: I mean, Palm Springs?
  
• SPEAKER_04: It's California residential delivery.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And when will you be there to sign for your COD parcel?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Never.
  
• SPEAKER_06: This is Gallagher, the comedian.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I travel around the country doing shows.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't know anything about this parcel, nor do I actually have a house.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, if you want to read...
  
• SPEAKER_06: All these addresses are my kids.
  
• SPEAKER_04: If you want to read a credit card or routing number, we can leave it in a safe place for you.
  
• SPEAKER_04: That's certainly no problem at all.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Not a problem at also.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't have...
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't have...
  
• SPEAKER_06: I send things all the time.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I know about routing numbers.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't have a package.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I didn't go to UPS.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I didn't get a routing number, and I didn't get a routing number,
  
• SPEAKER_06: and I didn't.
  
• SPEAKER_06: didn't send anything.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, we can't leave it without a COD payments or $123.40 is what we need to collect here today.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Can you just read a master charge and we can settle it by phone?
  
• SPEAKER_06: No, I think you're a scammer. Goodbye.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Why are you still calling me?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm with UPS, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We were just trying to resolve...
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't believe it.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't believe it.
  
• SPEAKER_06: You're just calling around to get credit card numbers.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Quit calling me.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Can you talk to my supervisor?
  
• SPEAKER_06: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yes, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_04: This is Harper with UPS.com.
  
• SPEAKER_04: How are you today?
  
• SPEAKER_06: I'm confused.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I've gotten a number from Oregon telling me that they wanted a credit card number.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Why would a person go into UPS and hand them a box and not give them a credit card at that time?
  
• SPEAKER_06: Why are you calling around from different phone numbers asking for credit card?
  
• SPEAKER_06: This is Gallagher, the comedian.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I use UPS all the time.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I know about routing numbers.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I know how it worked, and I don't have a box in transit.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, can I put you?
  
• SPEAKER_04: on with my supervisor and just get to the bottom of this.
  
• SPEAKER_06: No, I think you're all in on it.
  
• SPEAKER_06: It's a scam.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't believe you guys.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Goodbye.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Talk.
  
• SPEAKER_04: This is Raymond with UPS.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm calling about a past due balance we have on your account on a parcel that we're trying to deliver.
  
• SPEAKER_04: COD.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I think you're full of shit and you're just cheaters.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I'm going to turn your phone number into UPS and your Colorado number and your Oregon number also.
  
• SPEAKER_06: bothering me.
  
• SPEAKER_04: No, this is a package from whammo.com.
  
• SPEAKER_06: Listen, jerk,ops.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I use UPS and you get the credit card number when you first walk in the door.
  
• SPEAKER_06: You don't give it to them over the phone later on.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I don't know how stupid you think I am, but quit the call.
  
• SPEAKER_06: I'm telling you, I'm going to turn in your number to UPS, and it'll all get straightened out
  
• SPEAKER_06: when they find out you and your friends in Colorado and in Oregon.
  
• SPEAKER_01: No.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Sir, I'm Raymond.
  
• SPEAKER_04: UPS up here.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Country.
  
• None: Oh, my baby.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I wanted to get some eyes and some udders.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Some what?
  
• SPEAKER_04: From a cow?
  
• SPEAKER_09: We don't deal with udders from a cow.
  
• SPEAKER_09: This is a sausage factory.
  
• SPEAKER_09: We don't deal with cows.
  
• SPEAKER_09: We deal with pigs.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, can I get any eyes?
  
• SPEAKER_09: Eyes.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I have no idea what you're talking about.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Eyes, like eyeballs?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yes.
  
• SPEAKER_09: We don't deal with anything like that.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Our meat comes in the more in the 60-pound boxes.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, okay, I'll put me down for 60 pounds.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Of what?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Of eyes.
  
• SPEAKER_09: We don't have eyes or otters or any of that.
  
• SPEAKER_09: We make sausage.
  
• SPEAKER_09: That's all we do.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Make sausage.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Okay.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Can I get about 20 pounds of hair or fur?
  
• SPEAKER_09: We don't have hair or fur.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I think you make it a joke, but I'm not.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I got money to spend here.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Why don't you work with me?
  
• SPEAKER_09: It doesn't matter if you have money to spend.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I don't know what you're talking about.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hudders.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I just don't have.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I just need utters and tails.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Utters and tails.
  
• SPEAKER_09: It's utterly ridiculous.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Thank you for calling Christmas specialty foods.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Can I help you?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yeah, do you got any ox?
  
• SPEAKER_09: I don't.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Sorry.
  
• SPEAKER_04: How about, um, any testes?
  
• SPEAKER_07: No, I don't.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Any shoulder?
  
• SPEAKER_07: What is that noise?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm trying to start my truck here.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Oh, any shoulder, you said?
  
• SPEAKER_07: I have a pork shoulder rose.
  
• None: Hmm.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Oh, my word.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Can I help you with something else?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Um, do you want to go for a little ride if I get to start?
  
• SPEAKER_07: No, I don't want to go for a ride.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I knew you was being passed.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Bye.
  
• SPEAKER_04: You want to have a glass of wine?
  
• SPEAKER_07: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hi.
  
• SPEAKER_04: This is Jebediah with Motor Rooter.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We're going to be, uh...
  
• SPEAKER_07: What's an odor rooters?
  
• SPEAKER_04: We're going to scour your ruders up there and your pipes.
  
• SPEAKER_04: My pipes?
  
• SPEAKER_04: How many restrooms do you have there?
  
• SPEAKER_08: Restaurants?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Restaurants.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Restaurants.
  
• SPEAKER_08: Oh, toilets?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yes.
  
• SPEAKER_08: I don't know.
  
• SPEAKER_08: Linda!
  
• SPEAKER_08: Oh, Linda.
  
• SPEAKER_08: Go Linda.
  
• SPEAKER_08: Get her here right away.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We're going to send you a DVD of all the footage when we send our snake through your pipes, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_07: A snake?
  
• SPEAKER_07: I don't like snakes.
  
• SPEAKER_04: No, it's just a drill.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I don't ever send you a snake.
  
• SPEAKER_07: It's terrible.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I'm afraid.
  
• SPEAKER_07: snakes? A broken stricter?
  
• SPEAKER_04: It's a mechanical tool that cleans or drains.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I don't want those snakes.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We send it through your toilet, and then we send you the footage on a...
  
• SPEAKER_08: Did man's going to give me a snake?
  
• SPEAKER_08: I don't want a snake.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't even know what's going on.
  
• SPEAKER_08: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hi, this is Jasper.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We got a hole here. We're trying to plug a hole.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Do you have any spare panty hose and peanut butter?
  
• SPEAKER_04: What are you talking about peanut butter?
  
• SPEAKER_04: We're trying to plug a hole here.
  
• SPEAKER_04: and the wall.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We were just looking for some...
  
• SPEAKER_07: You're not in my house.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Panny hose and peanut butter would help us do the job.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Who are you?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Jasper.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Can you help me out, please? I can be over there
  
• SPEAKER_04: in 10, 15 minutes.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Absolutely, no.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I'll call the police.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Why?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I know who you are.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I don't have no strangers to my house.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Peanut butter, panty hose. That's all we need.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Don't come around my house. I'll call the place.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, you don't have to do that.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We can send somebody over to.
  
• SPEAKER_04: to pick up the panty hose.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Just buy your old business out of my house.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I'm going to call a place now, I think.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Do you have any peanut butter?
  
• SPEAKER_07: No, I don't use it.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Watermelon rinds or something like that.
  
• SPEAKER_04: How about some apple peels?
  
• SPEAKER_07: No, behave yourself.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Don't go back.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Can you have any panty hose within the hour?
  
• SPEAKER_07: Don't call it.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I want to call a place, I think.
  
• SPEAKER_04: You don't need to do that.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Never call me back, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_04: We have a hole in our bucket here.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Now, can't you just lend a hand?
  
• SPEAKER_07: No.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Oh, I want to call the place.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Don't do it. No. Don't do it. No. Oh, come on.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Give me a hand here.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm calling the police right now.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Don't do this.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Give me a hand with your panty hose, please.
  
• SPEAKER_04: The hose, please.
  
• SPEAKER_07: You're crazy, man. I got to call the police.
  
• SPEAKER_04: No, no, no, no, no, don't do it.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Just give us some peanut butter, please.
  
• SPEAKER_04: The butter, please.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I don't use peanut butter, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_07: One more minute, I'm calling the police, I think.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Panny hose, please.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Penny hose, please.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Pany hose. Please.
  
• SPEAKER_04: How about a watermelon?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Watermelon?
  
• SPEAKER_07: Oh, honey, they're bothering me.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Call it please.
  
• SPEAKER_07: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yeah, this is Goodman.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm looking for Rory here.
  
• SPEAKER_04: With regards to?
  
• SPEAKER_02: A shipment that took place, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_02: A shipment that took place?
  
• SPEAKER_02: With regards to what?
  
• SPEAKER_04: This thing was going to Shreveport, Louisiana.
  
• SPEAKER_04: My good, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And I worked with you on about four days ago.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I, excuse me, I'm not sure if you had the right number.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure what you're referring to.
  
• SPEAKER_02: What is this in regards to?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, I'm a boat master.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm a boatmaster. I,
  
• SPEAKER_04: I talked to you, I talked to you about four days ago is what I did.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm a boatmaster.
  
• SPEAKER_04: A boatmaster?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yes, I am.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And I sent miniaturized encased a reptile.
  
• SPEAKER_04: It was carefully packaged and crated up.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And when it got to the other side, it was not miniaturized down in the long.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I know what's going on over there?
  
• SPEAKER_04: And when it got to the other side, it was not miniaturized down the line.
  
• SPEAKER_04: What's going on over that?
  
• SPEAKER_04: That's what I'm trying to get.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I don't know what you're talking about, man, because.
  
• SPEAKER_02: because you're going in and out with different voices.
  
• SPEAKER_02: So is it a joke or what the fuck you're doing?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm talking to you right here, and I'm Goodman,
  
• SPEAKER_04: and I paid cash money on the assumption that you were going to be professional.
  
• SPEAKER_04: On what?
  
• SPEAKER_04: And what are you talking about?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I had a miniaturized...
  
• SPEAKER_03: You know who you're calling?
  
• SPEAKER_03: You know what state you're calling?
  
• SPEAKER_03: Because I don't have pythons.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I don't have anything of that nature.
  
• SPEAKER_03: You got the wrong fucking.
  
• SPEAKER_04: This thing was not miniaturized.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't know what kind of thing you're doing.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I'm in Chicago, motherfucker.
  
• SPEAKER_03: You got the wrong number.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't know what you're getting at you.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Hello, this is Rory.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hey, hello, this is Goodman.
  
• SPEAKER_04: What are you all doing to my reptile up there?
  
• SPEAKER_03: Dude, you guys got the wrong number.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I actually work for a law firm.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I don't work with reptiles or any type of species that I'm getting a phone call for.
  
• SPEAKER_04: You gave me your card there, guy, is what you did.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Dude, dude, dude, who are you calling?
  
• SPEAKER_03: Who the fuck are you calling?
  
• SPEAKER_03: What are you trying to call?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hey, I worked with you, fair and square.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Where?
  
• SPEAKER_03: Where did you work with me?
  
• SPEAKER_04: You took my parcel, and then this thing was all felled up.
  
• SPEAKER_03: So, bro, I don't deal with parcels.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I don't deal with cash.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I don't deal with Python.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I work for a fucking law firm.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I'm a lawyer.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Okay?
  
• SPEAKER_03: I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'll say for $475 and I'll let it go.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Okay?
  
• SPEAKER_03: $475 of nothing I fucking know about.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Get a life.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Just give me the payment and I'll drop the whole.
  
• SPEAKER_03: If I knew what the fuck you were talking about, this seems like a joke that you're playing a fun of.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Okay?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Get your act together there, fella.
  
• SPEAKER_04: You understand?
  
• SPEAKER_03: Sella, I'm a fucking lawyer.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Okay, I work for a fucking law phone.
  
• SPEAKER_03: You hear me, dude?
  
• SPEAKER_03: You hear me?
  
• SPEAKER_03: If you continue with the harassment, I'll get you subpoenaed.
  
• SPEAKER_03: So fuck off.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yeah, look at here, guy.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Why don't you give me what I need?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hold on.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I've got to record this for the police department.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Just give me what I need.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Why don't you just get your head on straight and give me what I need?
  
• SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Let me keep you on the phone so I can record this real quick.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Where's this recorder?
  
• SPEAKER_02: I need to submit this to the police department.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Here, talk to my friend.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, uh, Longmont.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Is he his home?
  
• SPEAKER_03: Hey, is that ULPC?
  
• SPEAKER_03: You got the wrong number.
  
• SPEAKER_04: No, it's the right number.
  
• SPEAKER_04: No, it's the right number.