wallace-thrasher

Longmont Potion Castle 15 (2018)

Track 1: LPC 15 Medley

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SPEAKER_05: Hello. Hello, it's Bernie. I live next door, and I left my shovel up on your property.
SPEAKER_05: I don't have anything on my property. I left my shovel up there. I need to get it back some time today.
SPEAKER_09: Well, I'm not stopping you from picking it up.
SPEAKER_05: What are you doing up there? Rubbing your butto?
SPEAKER_09: No, that's what you do.
SPEAKER_09: Robe your buttocks.
SPEAKER_05: What if I call the police?
SPEAKER_08: You keep calling me, and I will call the cops on you.
SPEAKER_08: Get the fuck away from me, okay?
SPEAKER_00: Oh, no.
SPEAKER_08: You keep calling me, I'll call the cops on you.
SPEAKER_05: Listen to me, Joe.
SPEAKER_05: Why don't you help me with my shovel?
SPEAKER_05: Just pick it up in your yard, okay?
SPEAKER_08: I don't have your fucking shovel!
SPEAKER_05: I don't have your fucking shovel!
SPEAKER_05: I don't have your fucking shovel!
SPEAKER_08: Why don't you go kiss your ass, and you can get the shovel out of that?
SPEAKER_05: I buried all my gold in the ground.
SPEAKER_08: You call me one more time. I'm calling the city of police to get you arrested and put you in jail.
SPEAKER_05: You better not be going out for my gold.
SPEAKER_08: Here it goes, calling the city of police department.
SPEAKER_05: When you become police, please,
SPEAKER_05: uh debby please yes sir hi this is dudley uh i'm your neighbor uh how are you doing today
SPEAKER_05: good on up there what do you tell me excellent um well i need to just give you power of attorney
SPEAKER_05: if that'd be all right with you for what we're going to do fracking and so anybody who you know
SPEAKER_05: comes by and has questions you just give you all the authority today this is for what we'll be fracking
SPEAKER_05: what's that uh fracturing the earth surface to get oil and
SPEAKER_05: and so on.
SPEAKER_05: What's this about?
SPEAKER_05: It's just power of attorney real simple.
SPEAKER_05: It takes like a minute of your time.
SPEAKER_05: For what?
SPEAKER_05: So that you can speak on my behalf.
SPEAKER_07: I don't know what this is about.
SPEAKER_07: Where you're calling from.
SPEAKER_05: Well, I'm your neighbor.
SPEAKER_05: I don't know anybody else in the area.
SPEAKER_05: I just live alone.
SPEAKER_07: What neighbor?
SPEAKER_07: And where?
SPEAKER_05: Well, you know, I'm new to the area.
SPEAKER_05: No, I don't know.
SPEAKER_05: I'm new to the area up here.
SPEAKER_07: What area?
SPEAKER_07: You know what?
SPEAKER_07: Call me back again, and I'm going to call the fucking police, okay?
SPEAKER_05: Well, I just need a minute of your time as well.
SPEAKER_07: No, you don't have a fucking minute of my time.
SPEAKER_07: Go fuck off.
SPEAKER_07: Wind group of companies.
SPEAKER_05: Listen, I'm sorry to bother you.
SPEAKER_05: I just need a minute of your time here.
SPEAKER_05: I can stop by in 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_05: How would that be?
SPEAKER_07: You're going to stop by where in 15 minutes?
SPEAKER_05: Just to get you to sign this?
SPEAKER_07: What address?
SPEAKER_07: What address you coming to?
SPEAKER_05: Well, I could meet you at Starbucks, buy a cup of coffee.
SPEAKER_07: You know what?
SPEAKER_07: I don't know who you are.
SPEAKER_07: What kind of bullshit you're trying to get me?
SPEAKER_07: me into?
SPEAKER_05: I'm Dudley.
SPEAKER_07: You can go find somebody else.
SPEAKER_07: I don't know a fucking Dudley.
SPEAKER_05: That's me.
SPEAKER_05: And I'm your new neighbor.
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
SPEAKER_07: What new neighbor where?
SPEAKER_05: Power of attorney.
SPEAKER_05: It's a real simple process.
SPEAKER_05: You're going to love it.
SPEAKER_07: No, I don't, I'm not interested.
SPEAKER_05: We're giving me all the authority.
SPEAKER_07: When you're in good companies.
SPEAKER_05: Hi, Debbie.
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
SPEAKER_05: Hi.
SPEAKER_05: This is Dudley.
SPEAKER_05: I did want to let you know we're just dropping off that paperwork here in the next 10 to 15
SPEAKER_05: minutes, if that's acceptable.
SPEAKER_05: Just to your office there.
SPEAKER_07: No, I'm leaving.
SPEAKER_05: Well, we need to get you this power of attorney, Miss.
SPEAKER_07: You know what?
SPEAKER_07: You can do?
SPEAKER_07: Call me one more fucking time, and you're going to be arrested, buddy.
SPEAKER_07: Don't play my fucking games.
SPEAKER_05: You're playing a game?
SPEAKER_05: No, you are.
SPEAKER_05: Well, just sign the paperwork and we'll get her back.
SPEAKER_07: I'm not signing no fucking paperwork.
SPEAKER_07: Go fuck yourself and your mother, too.
SPEAKER_03: I'm Tom Martino.
SPEAKER_03: Let me get to the phones here.
SPEAKER_03: We really got to.
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
SPEAKER_03: What's going on with Buddy?
SPEAKER_03: Go ahead, buddy.
SPEAKER_03: What's happening?
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I'm an old corn cob pipe smoker.
SPEAKER_03: And my neighbor's saying you better extinguish that corncob pipe up.
SPEAKER_03: You're kidding around, buddy.
SPEAKER_03: This is not a real call, is it?
SPEAKER_03: Hey, buddy.
SPEAKER_03: I said, if you come into my puffing parlor, I'm going to come out whooping.
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
SPEAKER_03: So I don't mind the levity today there, buddy.
SPEAKER_03: So what are you calling about?
SPEAKER_06: I said you better get out of my puffing parlor.
SPEAKER_06: He said, I'm going to get you with Section 9.
SPEAKER_06: Now, what does he mean by Section 9?
SPEAKER_03: Buddy, I like your delivery.
SPEAKER_03: So listen, tell me about yourself.
SPEAKER_03: Are you a voiceover artist or what?
SPEAKER_03: What do you do?
SPEAKER_03: I'm 75 years old.
SPEAKER_03: Buddy, are you for real?
SPEAKER_03: Are you on his side?
SPEAKER_03: No, I...
SPEAKER_03: Okay, a Section 9?
SPEAKER_03: That's when you're nuts, right?
SPEAKER_03: I think.
SPEAKER_03: Now, what does he mean by Section 9?
SPEAKER_03: I think he means that you are crazy.
SPEAKER_03: I got a helicopter.
SPEAKER_06: I'm getting out of here if he's coming after me with a section 9.
SPEAKER_03: I think he's saying you are nuts.
SPEAKER_03: Hey, I'm a pop smoker.
SPEAKER_03: There's a lot of different section 9s, but I think he's referring to the one that basically you're insane.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he, I think that's where they institutionalize your buddy.
SPEAKER_03: So, buddy?
SPEAKER_03: He might be calling from there.
SPEAKER_03: Buddy.
SPEAKER_03: How long you've been smoking?
SPEAKER_03: for 45 years.
SPEAKER_03: Forty-five years?
SPEAKER_03: Really?
SPEAKER_03: And how old are you?
SPEAKER_03: I'm 75 years old, Buster.
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
SPEAKER_03: And what was your birthday?
SPEAKER_03: The year.
SPEAKER_03: Give it to me quickly, sir.
SPEAKER_03: I was born in 1943.
SPEAKER_03: Let's see, did he do the math right?
SPEAKER_03: 1943? He did?
SPEAKER_03: You creep.
SPEAKER_03: You did it quickly.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, listen, buddy.
SPEAKER_03: He's insane, in my opinion.
SPEAKER_03: I mean, this guy is truly, truly an idiot.
SPEAKER_03: I mean, don't you think Joe?
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely, Tom.
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04: Robert Burt, may I help you?
SPEAKER_05: Hello.
SPEAKER_05: I'm Cedricleckleskey.
SPEAKER_05: I'm calling here from Masquerade masks here in Shreveport.
SPEAKER_05: We've got a silent auction coming up,
SPEAKER_05: and I wanted to touch base with you to see if we can get together on this silent auction here.
SPEAKER_05: I'm not following now.
SPEAKER_04: Repeat what you said?
SPEAKER_05: We've got Louisville sluggers.
SPEAKER_05: We've got decorated pails and buckets from interstores.
SPEAKER_05: city kids. A lot of really neat stuff happening here.
SPEAKER_05: Oh, whoa, whoa.
SPEAKER_05: And I wanted to get with you on what you can donate.
SPEAKER_05: The lady in the drone department said that you could get us some items for our silent auction.
SPEAKER_04: But I'm not, you know, I'm just an administrator here at Louisiana Tech.
SPEAKER_04: And I have no items to contribute.
SPEAKER_04: You know, I've got my personal stuff, but probably there's been some confusion.
SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04: I can't help you.
SPEAKER_05: Well, what have you got in the way of some personal?
SPEAKER_05: personal goods and items that you can...
SPEAKER_05: Sorry, I'm not interested, though.
SPEAKER_04: But thank you so much for your call.
SPEAKER_05: Well, how about on a cash level?
SPEAKER_04: Hello, Robert.
SPEAKER_05: Hi, Cedric. How are you doing, sir?
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04: Cedric.
SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04: I'm just not interested or I'm not able to donate anything.
SPEAKER_04: I appreciate you asking that.
SPEAKER_05: We need a cash donation then from you.
SPEAKER_05: I can pick that up this evening, if that would be all right with you.
SPEAKER_04: No, thank you.
SPEAKER_04: I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_04: Well, what's a good time?
SPEAKER_04: My cash donations go to the church and to the United Way and also to the
SPEAKER_04: Israel fund for the state of Israel.
SPEAKER_05: I'm dropping a hour, and I can pick up just a check, or maybe some staplers.
SPEAKER_05: Anything you have around the office, I'll take a reel of tape or a...
SPEAKER_04: And you'll meet with the police, too.
SPEAKER_05: What do you mean there?
SPEAKER_04: I don't know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_04: This sounds...
SPEAKER_04: Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_04: Let me...
SPEAKER_04: Would you hold on for just a minute, and I won't...
SPEAKER_04: Would you record...
SPEAKER_04: I'm recording this?
SPEAKER_04: Hold on.
SPEAKER_05: I'm up there, and I'm going to get with you.
SPEAKER_05: I'm going to sit down in your office.
SPEAKER_05: Who is this?
SPEAKER_05: I'm Cedric McCleskey there, guy.
SPEAKER_05: Masquerade masks.
SPEAKER_05: And if I come up there, I'm going to demand cash or check at this point.
SPEAKER_05: And maybe I'll bring a police officer myself.
SPEAKER_04: Who is this?
SPEAKER_04: Who is this?
SPEAKER_04: I'm joking now.
SPEAKER_04: Who is...
SPEAKER_04: I told you, though, before.
SPEAKER_05: And it goes both ways, fellow.
SPEAKER_05: I can get a sheriff down there in a matter of minutes.
SPEAKER_05: Now, cut us a darn check and quit away.
SPEAKER_05: check and quit wasting our time.
SPEAKER_04: I don't have any.
SPEAKER_04: I don't have any.
SPEAKER_04: I do not have any desire whatsoever.
SPEAKER_04: My contributions goes to the church, and my contributions go to Israel.
SPEAKER_04: Because we need you to divert those funds.
SPEAKER_04: I'm fixing to divert.
SPEAKER_04: Listen, I'm fixing to divert some funds and it's going to be on your head.
SPEAKER_04: Do not call this number again.
SPEAKER_04: Academy Records and CDs.
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I was looking for that.
SPEAKER_05: your Western single? Big hit right now.
SPEAKER_01: A big hit right now. What's it called? I don't know.
SPEAKER_05: Where'd you get your donkey?
SPEAKER_05: Donk. Donkey?
SPEAKER_05: It's like...
SPEAKER_05: Are you sure it's country?
SPEAKER_01: We only specialize in Spanish music here.
SPEAKER_05: Well, it's a Spanish guy. He's from Spain.
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry. I don't have anything from Spain. I just carry just like...
SPEAKER_05: Well, you can't change in your story.
SPEAKER_05: Oh, I have this. I don't have this.
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know what?
SPEAKER_01: Who's the guy's name and why you're singing this donkey song?
SPEAKER_05: I think Brent Pickle is his name?
SPEAKER_00: Brad Pickle. Where did you get your donkey?
SPEAKER_00: What?
SPEAKER_00: And you got that thing going on repeat, and I can't do anything about that noise going on.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, my God.
SPEAKER_03: Don't sing me a song and ask me to go out and find it for you.
SPEAKER_02: I'm hearing, like, multiple people talking.
SPEAKER_02: It's interfering with what you're telling me.
SPEAKER_02: So, like, you got to fix that before you call back here, okay?
SPEAKER_05: You need to turn down your stereo?
SPEAKER_02: All right, my stereo is turned down, bro.
SPEAKER_05: You need to sit tight and you need to listen to what I have to say before you go picking up the phone.
SPEAKER_05: You got me figured out because I'm ready to make a purchase here.
SPEAKER_02: I understand you want to make a purchase of something that we don't have in stock or we don't have a listing for it.
SPEAKER_05: Well, I think you probably misspelled it, is what happened.
SPEAKER_02: How do you know I misspelled it, bro?
SPEAKER_05: How do you even know I misspelled it?
SPEAKER_05: This is all over the radio, Cat.
SPEAKER_05: If you look correctly, I don't care if it's all over the radio.
SPEAKER_08: It's long time.
SPEAKER_08: No way.