Track 1: LPC 14 Medley

• SPEAKER_00: Crime Desk, what can I do for you?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'm called from Radio Shack.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Can I talk to the gentleman of the house from Radio Shack.com?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what about it?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I got a triangular printer that's brand new.
  
• SPEAKER_04: It's a triangle, and it's Prisman.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And I got a woman to talk to you about its own special.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Sir, Radio Shack.com.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You know, you're either jacked up a marijuana, or...
  
• SPEAKER_00: of pot, and I just traced your number, you son of a bitch.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hey, what's good?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hey, this is Brent. What's up?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Who's this?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm Brent Bump.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Who the fuck is this?
  
• SPEAKER_04: My name's Brent Bump.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Fixing the list of freaking weights up.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Man, you don't fucking talk rat. I can't hear shit, homie.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to start out lifting 25 pounds.
  
• SPEAKER_04: about 80 times.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Then I'm going to lift 75 pounds about 200 times.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And I'm going to lift 200 pounds about 50 times.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And I don't give a fuck what you're about to do.
  
• SPEAKER_04: My body is going to get so pumped up.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to bounce you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I give a no fuck.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't mean, shut the fuck up.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to bounce you off.
  
• SPEAKER_04: What?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yo, man, I'm going to get pumped up and bump you around a little bit.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Niggit, the fuck.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Fuck you're talking about. Shut your bitch eyes up, nigga.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't know who the fuck this is.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to bump you onto the ground, man.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to lift 200 pounds.
  
• SPEAKER_04: All right.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to pick that.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Nick, shut your ass up.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to throw you down.
  
• SPEAKER_04: You got me?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Nick, who the fuck is this, nigga?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Our last name's bump.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And I'm fixing to pick you up and put your back down about 75 times.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Oh.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Bro, shut your old bitch hands up, nigga.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't know who the fuck this is.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Shut your ass up.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Go call someone else.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Shake you around.
  
• SPEAKER_01: A car someone else, nigga.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What's up?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hey, man.
  
• SPEAKER_04: You're ready to film my group?
  
• SPEAKER_04: What?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to grip hold of you and pick you up.
  
• SPEAKER_04: About 80 times up down.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, shut your bitch ass up, nigga.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm about to fucking answer your cars, nigga.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're annoying ass fuck.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Shut your ass up.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to pick you up down.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And up down.
  
• SPEAKER_04: 75-taire.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Ah.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You dog-ass niggas niggas.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm going to bump you up and put you back down.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm Haywood with food and friends.
  
• SPEAKER_04: How are you today, sir?
  
• SPEAKER_04: What?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm Haywood with food and friends.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Grocery store.
  
• SPEAKER_04: How are you today, sir?
  
• SPEAKER_03: I'm fine.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I got some food right here.
  
• SPEAKER_04: What?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Excuse me?
  
• SPEAKER_04: It's just a promotion, sir.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I wanted to let you know that...
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't want to hear about it, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_03: The only promotions I'm interested is my...
  
• SPEAKER_03: You know what?
  
• SPEAKER_03: Who are you again?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Uh, you want to get a pen this time?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Jot it down.
  
• SPEAKER_04: My name's Aywood.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Okay?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Are you getting killed with me?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Oh, how are you today?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I would like to hear you say.
  
• SPEAKER_04: How are you today?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I would like to hear you say.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Ah!
  
• SPEAKER_03: Why do you let these people call?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I would not to say you are not doing very good good day.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I do.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Why?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I do.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm by the entrance here at Food and Friends.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We're going to be looking for some real candid responses about your weight,
  
• SPEAKER_04: any odors you might have, and so forth, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_04: So if you got a gumball in your mouth...
  
• SPEAKER_03: I don't know who you are.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I don't know where you're from.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I don't know how you got this fucking number.
  
• SPEAKER_03: But if you ever show up with my fucking house,
  
• SPEAKER_03: I'm going to pull your fucking brains out!
  
• SPEAKER_04: If you got a gumball in your mouth, just spit it out.
  
• SPEAKER_04: This is time to make your voice count.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Just skip the mush mouth business, okay, guy?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Now...
  
• SPEAKER_04: Who are...
  
• SPEAKER_04: Who the fuck?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Who?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Who are you?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Oh, another thing, check out our insert in Hustler magazine this month
  
• SPEAKER_04: for our 7, 8, 9-inch fingerling potatoes.
  
• SPEAKER_04: No.
  
• SPEAKER_04: No.
  
• SPEAKER_04: This promotion is just eaten up back here.
  
• SPEAKER_04: So peel them back, load them up, and just lick your lips, all right?
  
• SPEAKER_04: And grip hold of our goodies like there's no tomorrow.
  
• SPEAKER_04: All right.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And remember, our sale price is firm.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Real firm.
  
• SPEAKER_04: You got me?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Oh, right.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And over in aisle nine,
  
• SPEAKER_04: here at Food and Friends, we got our compost heap fired up, ready to go.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We need everybody to step up to the plate, just dump your cabbage and you're squash in the aisle
  
• SPEAKER_04: and get hopping up and down.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Just mush your mulching.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Are you still talking to me?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Right into the ground.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Just smush your goop all up and down.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Wait, who are you?
  
• SPEAKER_03: Who are you?
  
• SPEAKER_04: We got people leaping up and down.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We got people leaping all around.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And we got a fractal cactus.
  
• SPEAKER_04: We got a holistic.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Medicine man on premise.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I don't know, but listen.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_02: I'll buy it.
  
• SPEAKER_02: Whatever you want, however much, just leave me alone.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Okay, and just remember the top of the guacamole is by far the creamiest.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Okay, you go digging around any deeper than that.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Things get a lot chunkier and much, much chewier down there.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Your chip won't fit.
  
• SPEAKER_04: The thing will break off on you.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I want it.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I want it.
  
• SPEAKER_03: I want it.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Give me, please.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Give me the guacamole.
  
• SPEAKER_03: And leave me the fucking.
  
• SPEAKER_03: Go on!
  
• SPEAKER_03: Mr. Haywood, I'm going to crack you in two, okay, like a two-by-four, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_03: Like a fucking stump that a wood person cuts with an axe.
  
• SPEAKER_03: You are fucking dead!
  
• SPEAKER_09: 630K out.
  
• SPEAKER_03: An I-Heart radio station.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Hi, Tom Martino here. Welcome.
  
• SPEAKER_09: 303-713-255.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Grover's got a comment on that Rocky Mountain painting and the door jam with that woman.
  
• SPEAKER_09: What's your comment there, Grover?
  
• SPEAKER_04: This lady had a house.
  
• SPEAKER_04: She owned a house.
  
• SPEAKER_04: She says, how do people like that get a house?
  
• SPEAKER_04: She was so mealy-mouthed.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I couldn't believe it.
  
• SPEAKER_09: So would you feel she was like, what, nitpicking?
  
• SPEAKER_04: She was on the air for two days.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Oh, this guy's ripping me off, but I don't want you to talk to him.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, be nice to him.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, maybe I should talk to my dad.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Yeah, miss that yesterday.
  
• SPEAKER_09: She goes, if I put him on the phone, just don't yell at him.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Thank you, Grover.
  
• SPEAKER_04: Dan.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Oh, wow.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Wow.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Dan, what's happening?
  
• SPEAKER_09: Dan?
  
• SPEAKER_09: I don't hear Dan, so I'm just going to go.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Oh, Shuck.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Skipper, what's going on with your cell phone?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hi, I bought a cell phone new at the shop at Colfax and Potomac, right off Potomac there.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Now, you bought a new cell phone, very seldom to people just buy a cell phone.
  
• SPEAKER_09: They usually sign up with a carrier.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Now, was this a store, a carrier, or just buying the phone?
  
• SPEAKER_04: It's a store called Big Mama's.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I just bought the phone.
  
• SPEAKER_04: right. It's a Motorola.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Okay. And what kind of phone?
  
• SPEAKER_04: Motorola, Z-Force.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Z-Force. Is it an older one or is it one of the newer ones?
  
• SPEAKER_04: It's one of the newer ones. And I'm hearing voices and beeping and crazy sounds.
  
• SPEAKER_04: And when I call them, they say they're not responsible for the learning curve of the end user.
  
• SPEAKER_04: But that's not what it's about.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Now, this was a brand new phone, right?
  
• SPEAKER_09: Yeah.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Okay. And what carrier do you have?
  
• SPEAKER_04: AT&T. And it's going crazy.
  
• SPEAKER_04: making noises and sounds and it's freaking out. The phone is.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Really? And how are you at technology? Are you pretty good?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't know what's going on with this for. I don't know what all. I'm all right.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Oh, he's joking. You're joking me, bud.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Huh? Come on. You just did that with your voice. How'd you do that?
  
• SPEAKER_09: Big Mammis is the one who sold it to me. Do it again. Do it again, Skipper. Make your voice go
  
• SPEAKER_04: slow again. Big Mammis is the one who sold it to me.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Make it go slower.
  
• SPEAKER_09: How do you do that?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't know what you're talking about my phone.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Do you have, Gipper, do you have a synthesizer?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
  
• SPEAKER_04: It's this phone.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I'm telling you, this phone is whacked out.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Let me know how you're doing that.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I want it for my phone.
  
• SPEAKER_09: How are you doing it?
  
• SPEAKER_04: It's flacked out something fierce.
  
• SPEAKER_04: I could tell you that right now.
  
• SPEAKER_04: What's this phone?
  
• SPEAKER_04: What is the name of the app for you using?
  
• SPEAKER_04: I went to Big Mommas on POTOMAC.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I want to know the name of that app.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Get it out of Fattie.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Try to find out what app to use.
  
• SPEAKER_09: to do that since that voice of this stuff.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I like that.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I imagine there are numbers.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Say, I'm looking up to see the Force Motorola.
  
• SPEAKER_09: I don't even, oh, yeah, I don't even see one.
  
• SPEAKER_09: Oh, yeah, I see one.
  
• SPEAKER_09: There actually is one.
  
• SPEAKER_09: But I thought he's not for real.
  
• SPEAKER_09: He doesn't have a problem.
  
• SPEAKER_09: That is pretty cool, though.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Hello, I'm here.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I am Messiah.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I am the embodiment of God.
  
• SPEAKER_08: I am divinity and humanity combined.
  
• SPEAKER_08: I swear it.
  
• SPEAKER_08: One day, by myself, I sat down in my chair, just relaxing, and then God said to me,
  
• SPEAKER_08: you are Messiah.
  
• SPEAKER_08: I am Messiah.
  
• SPEAKER_08: I'm very sensitive what God says to me, and I must obey my father's instructions.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Well, I'll tell you one thing is that you are not God, and that is seriously.
  
• SPEAKER_07: I am Messiah.
  
• SPEAKER_05: No, you are not.
  
• SPEAKER_05: The Messiah is God.
  
• SPEAKER_05: God, and you are not the Messiah.
  
• SPEAKER_05: He came once, and that's all he was supposed to do was come once, and handle the atonement,
  
• SPEAKER_05: the resurrection, and fulfill the 250 prophecies from the Old Testament.
  
• SPEAKER_05: No, no.
  
• SPEAKER_05: How many have you fulfilled?
  
• SPEAKER_05: How many have you fulfilled?
  
• SPEAKER_08: I was educated in your world.
  
• SPEAKER_05: How many have you fulfilled?
  
• SPEAKER_05: Well, none.
  
• SPEAKER_05: None.
  
• SPEAKER_05: None?
  
• SPEAKER_05: No.
  
• SPEAKER_05: None.
  
• SPEAKER_05: No.
  
• SPEAKER_05: No.
  
• SPEAKER_05: No, you haven't risen from the dead.
  
• SPEAKER_05: You haven't healed the sick or raised the dead.
  
• SPEAKER_05: These were all markers of the true Messiah.
  
• SPEAKER_05: And the Messiah is God, the eternal son.
  
• SPEAKER_05: You are not the eternal son.
  
• SPEAKER_05: You are a creation made in God's image, but you are not the image of God.
  
• SPEAKER_06: It is a defining moment, and God's people are going to be...
  
• SPEAKER_05: Well, somebody has led you...
  
• SPEAKER_05: Somebody has led you horribly...
  
• SPEAKER_05: astray in your thinking and in your heart.
  
• SPEAKER_05: To say the things that you're saying is blasphemous.
  
• SPEAKER_08: We are naked and unashamed.
  
• SPEAKER_05: That means, that means, well, naked and unashamed.
  
• SPEAKER_05: What does that mean?
  
• SPEAKER_05: Think about that what that means.
  
• SPEAKER_05: It means transparency.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Naked and unashamed means God sees us as we really are.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Yes.
  
• SPEAKER_05: As stumbled, as stumbled as inner.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Yes.
  
• SPEAKER_05: And Messiah was not a sinner.
  
• SPEAKER_05: You are.
  
• SPEAKER_05: I am.
  
• SPEAKER_05: We are stumbled.
  
• SPEAKER_05: You've gotten some bad information.
  
• SPEAKER_06: My dad said that he was God.
  
• SPEAKER_06: And, well, it's a great honor to be that closely associated with Messiah and to be somebody
  
• SPEAKER_06: that he would count as one of his most intimate associates.
  
• SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry your father claimed to be God because he was not.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Because he probably made a very point.
  
• SPEAKER_05: God.
  
• SPEAKER_08: It wasn't at my instruction or behest.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Oh, no.
  
• SPEAKER_05: The instruction, you know, wherever you think you've gotten that instruction,
  
• SPEAKER_05: that says there is a way that seems right into the man, but the end leads in eternal death.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Be very careful.
  
• SPEAKER_05: You are sitting yourself on a very slippery slope if you truly preach and believe what you're saying.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Because if you truly believe what you're saying.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Because if you truly believe what you're saying.
  
• SPEAKER_05: that does not make it true.
  
• SPEAKER_05: That's subjective.
  
• SPEAKER_08: I would have more authority to touch the soul than a MD would.
  
• SPEAKER_08: MDs aren't prepared for what I've had to do.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Okay, I've got to go now.
  
• SPEAKER_08: So thank you for your call.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Thank you for your call.
  
• SPEAKER_08: I appreciate it.
  
• SPEAKER_08: Goodbye.
  
• SPEAKER_05: Goodbye.
  
• SPEAKER_08: Having sex was God's instructions.