wallace-thrasher

Longmont Potion Castle 12 (2016)

Track 5: LPC 12 Medley 1

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SPEAKER_08: Hello, human head.
SPEAKER_08: You got anything by hobo barf up for?
SPEAKER_08: I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_00: We don't have everything cataloged.
SPEAKER_00: I can look online for you if we have that listed in our inventory.
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
SPEAKER_07: Sure.
SPEAKER_08: Wait.
SPEAKER_08: What?
SPEAKER_08: Hobo barf.
SPEAKER_08: Split EP with basilica gel that I was looking for.
SPEAKER_08: Good gel.
SPEAKER_08: Good, Joe.
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_08: Wait, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_08: How are you making those noises?
SPEAKER_08: Ah, right?
SPEAKER_08: Priscilla Jones?
SPEAKER_08: You want Priscilla Jones?
SPEAKER_08: No, they're called Basilica, Joe.
SPEAKER_08: So what do you got in stock?
SPEAKER_08: Oh, my God.
SPEAKER_02: Hey, oh, this is Tyler?
SPEAKER_08: This is Dickie Lipton.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, my God.
SPEAKER_00: I got to ring people up, man.
SPEAKER_07: Oh!
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: This is great.
None: Oh!
SPEAKER_04: No!
SPEAKER_04: Hello, Jazz Rector Mart.
SPEAKER_04: Oh!
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, who?
SPEAKER_08: You guys do consignment up, Berman?
SPEAKER_08: Consignment.
SPEAKER_02: Not today.
SPEAKER_02: You'll have to come in and speak to one of the managers.
SPEAKER_02: R.T. or Kent would be the one to talk to.
SPEAKER_02: What is that?
SPEAKER_02: Who?
SPEAKER_02: R.T. or Ken? Do you have, like, a pack of wild dogs in the background or something, man?
None: Oh!
SPEAKER_08: You don't allow dogs, you're saying, right?
SPEAKER_08: Allow dogs.
SPEAKER_08: Not generally. No.
SPEAKER_02: Oh!
SPEAKER_02: Okay, man.
SPEAKER_08: Hello?
SPEAKER_08: Hi, yeah. I'm Frederick Frick.
SPEAKER_08: I got your number from Chaplin Crab Tree.
SPEAKER_08: I'm just trying to get distribution for our band.
SPEAKER_08: Did you just call a second ago?
SPEAKER_08: No, I did not.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: Oh! Yes, you did.
SPEAKER_08: We're musical gnomes. We're call a wallet-sized wildfire.
SPEAKER_02: Don't call again. Bye.
SPEAKER_01: Jazz record, Mark?
SPEAKER_08: Hi, yeah. I got a local band. We're looking to get some distribution.
SPEAKER_01: The buyer is zero.
SPEAKER_01: banker's hours. He's going to be here Monday through Friday.
SPEAKER_08: Oh, yeah?
SPEAKER_01: I'm just a clerk.
SPEAKER_08: Are you going to stand by your remarks when I call back at that hour?
SPEAKER_01: What remarks?
SPEAKER_08: Or is this just a big hoax up?
SPEAKER_01: I didn't talk to anybody.
SPEAKER_01: I talked to the other guy, maybe, but I haven't spoken to anybody.
SPEAKER_01: Oh!
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't really matter. What do you want? Do you got to sell a record?
SPEAKER_01: The buyer is here. The buyer is a guy who does that. I'm not allowed to.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Bye.
SPEAKER_01: Jazz record, Mary?
SPEAKER_08: I'm calling from Dr. Fiddlesticks.
SPEAKER_08: We got a jukebox up here, and we're trying to stock the thing.
SPEAKER_08: It didn't come with any vinyl.
SPEAKER_01: We got some, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: It's been gone over quite a bit.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, our 45 vinyl is, you know, it's been sucked dry.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
SPEAKER_01: Bye.
Alex Trebek: Hello, vortex, sir.
SPEAKER_07: Oh!
SPEAKER_00: Good day.
SPEAKER_00: What's happening?
SPEAKER_08: I'm Frederick Frick.
SPEAKER_08: I'm interested in entering into a gentleman's agreement with you.
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_00: Okay. What would this agreement entail?
SPEAKER_07: I'm a local band.
SPEAKER_08: We're called wallet-sized wild farms.
SPEAKER_08: We're gnomes, and I think that really sets us apart.
SPEAKER_08: We're looking to get some distribution.
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not up for it.
SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, I've got to go now.
SPEAKER_08: We're the only gnomes in the area.
SPEAKER_04: Crime, yes.
SPEAKER_04: What can I do for you?
SPEAKER_08: I'm calling from Citizens United for Bill Cosby.
SPEAKER_08: And we're looking.
SPEAKER_08: looking for a pledge today.
SPEAKER_04: Hey, fuckhead.
SPEAKER_04: I'm a police report, and we've got your fucking number.
SPEAKER_04: Hey, prickhead.
SPEAKER_04: What can I do for you?
SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
SPEAKER_08: Can't we find a solution here for Bill Cosby?
SPEAKER_04: Hey, drop my telephone number, you fuck face.
SPEAKER_04: You know, AT&T?
SPEAKER_04: Hello.
SPEAKER_04: Put a trace on that line.
SPEAKER_04: I'm calling from San Clemente.
SPEAKER_04: I don't give it any where you're calling from.
SPEAKER_04: This is a police line.
SPEAKER_04: What you're doing, you're interrupting.
SPEAKER_04: and everything else.
SPEAKER_04: And if you think you're using the unlisted phone, our equipment shows different.
SPEAKER_08: Well, what about Dr. Bill Cosby?
SPEAKER_04: Buried the son of a bitch.
SPEAKER_08: Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04: All the hell on dead nigger.
SPEAKER_04: Wade, Wade.
SPEAKER_08: Wade.
SPEAKER_08: Hello?
SPEAKER_08: Wade.
SPEAKER_08: Who is it?
SPEAKER_08: Marcus.
SPEAKER_08: Marcus who?
SPEAKER_08: Wade.
SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
SPEAKER_08: What's up?
SPEAKER_08: What's up?
SPEAKER_08: I'm going to block this number.
SPEAKER_08: dude, I don't even know you.
SPEAKER_08: You can block it all you want.
SPEAKER_08: Hello?
SPEAKER_08: Hey, what's cooking?
SPEAKER_08: Well, I'm about to block this number, too, dude.
SPEAKER_08: Oh, good.
SPEAKER_08: I don't want to talk to you anyhow.
SPEAKER_08: Well, I don't even know.
SPEAKER_08: Who is this?
SPEAKER_08: The chauffeur.
SPEAKER_08: The chauffeur of what?
SPEAKER_08: A car.
SPEAKER_08: Do you think I hand out fishing licenses?
SPEAKER_08: I'm a teamster.
SPEAKER_08: So, so, so, so, so, so, so.
SPEAKER_04: This is a fucking automated, this is an automated machine.
SPEAKER_08: I'm going to automate your teeth, automatically knock them out when I see you.
SPEAKER_04: Well, it'll be tough, dude.
SPEAKER_04: I wish you would show up at this little job site, and I'll beat the fucking brakes off you.
SPEAKER_04: I'm going to block this number two, you fucking idiot.
SPEAKER_08: I don't want to touch you anyhow.
SPEAKER_08: Your voice is dumb sounding.
SPEAKER_08: Your voice is dumb sounding.
SPEAKER_08: Your voice is dumb, Marcus.
SPEAKER_08: Holy fuck.
Alex Trebek: Hello?
Alex Trebek: Yes?
Alex Trebek: Hello?
Alex Trebek: Yes?
Alex Trebek: Oh, okay.
Alex Trebek: It's like the phone disconnected.
Alex Trebek: Wait a minute.
Alex Trebek: Did your phone ring?
Alex Trebek: No, but I heard a ring.
Alex Trebek: You heard it ring?
Alex Trebek: Yeah.
Alex Trebek: Okay.
Alex Trebek: You're not calling anybody.
Alex Trebek: You just called me, didn't you?
Alex Trebek: No, there's somebody who's managed to learn how to cross-connect different phones
Alex Trebek: so that people in different areas have their phones ring at the same time
Alex Trebek: and they all wonder what the hell's going on.
Alex Trebek: So somebody's having fun at our expense.
Alex Trebek: Where are you?
Alex Trebek: I'm in Southern California.
SPEAKER_07: I am, too.
Alex Trebek: Oh, okay.
Alex Trebek: Well, hopefully they'll get tired of screwing with us.
SPEAKER_08: It's just too bad.
SPEAKER_08: I can't really imagine.
Alex Trebek: Yeah.
SPEAKER_08: I can't really imagine.
Alex Trebek: Who's that other voice?
None: Hmm?
Alex Trebek: I can't.
Alex Trebek: I just read it out.
SPEAKER_07: I can't figure it out.
SPEAKER_07: I can't figure it out.
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
SPEAKER_08: What's that now?
SPEAKER_05: Hello?
SPEAKER_05: Hi.
SPEAKER_05: I guess they transferred me to you.
SPEAKER_05: I'm part of the Hollywood Wax Museum.
SPEAKER_05: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_05: And I guess you were trying to get a wax figure made.
SPEAKER_05: I was.
SPEAKER_05: Who transferred you?
SPEAKER_05: Rocky.
SPEAKER_05: Rocky said this?
SPEAKER_05: That's what Rocky said.
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
SPEAKER_05: Are you sure you got the right person?
SPEAKER_05: Who were you calling?
SPEAKER_05: I spoke to Rocky, and he said that he was going to transfer me to you, I guess, to do a wax figure review for Alex,
SPEAKER_05: and pretty much just to get some more information on it.
SPEAKER_05: Well, who wants a wax image of me?
SPEAKER_05: Rocky.
SPEAKER_05: Rocky does?
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's what he said.
SPEAKER_05: Hmm.
SPEAKER_05: Well, you've taken me completely by surprise.
SPEAKER_05: I know nothing about this.
SPEAKER_05: So I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_05: I heard about it.
SPEAKER_05: I know we've been calling a couple times to see if that's something that we can do.
SPEAKER_05: Let me talk to Rocky about this and find out what's...
SPEAKER_05: Okay, we'll do.
SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
SPEAKER_08: Viacom.
SPEAKER_08: Hello?
Alex Trebek: Viacom?
Alex Trebek: Boy, did I miss dial.
Alex Trebek: Sorry about that.
SPEAKER_08: Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_08: Who are you trying to reach here?
Alex Trebek: I'm trying to dial an outside line.
SPEAKER_08: Apparently you're trying to procure a sculpture?
SPEAKER_08: No.
Alex Trebek: Who am I speaking with?
Alex Trebek: You're speaking with Alex Trebek, and I'm not trying to secure anything.
Alex Trebek: So I will try again.
SPEAKER_08: Yes, sir?
SPEAKER_03: Go drum.
SPEAKER_03: I just got tons and tons of songs and arrangements,
SPEAKER_03: and I got it for every style.
SPEAKER_03: Latin, rock, jazz, you know.
SPEAKER_03: It's amazing, man.
SPEAKER_03: You got it all.
SPEAKER_03: I can mix different styles.
SPEAKER_03: I can put in like a jazz thing with some rock thing, with the flamenco thing.
SPEAKER_03: It's just crazy, man.
SPEAKER_03: It's like endless, you know, all the different styles.
Alex Trebek: That's awesome.
SPEAKER_03: You can make records, man.
Alex Trebek: It's fucking awesome.
SPEAKER_03: You know, I could start working with other singers and tell them, look,
SPEAKER_03: you've got to pay me hundreds of dollars, thousands of dollars to do this.
SPEAKER_03: And it's like, you know.
SPEAKER_03: What's going on?
SPEAKER_03: I just recently found that you can mix temples.
SPEAKER_03: I put four or four temples into 60 temples.
SPEAKER_04: Fuck, yeah.
SPEAKER_04: Three against four, two against two, one-on-one.
SPEAKER_04: It's great basketball games.
SPEAKER_03: You know, just because it sounds better.
SPEAKER_03: You know, let me play you something real quick, just so you get an idea.
SPEAKER_03: Wait a minute, I don't have it plugged in.
None: Let me see, what was I going to do?
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, man.
SPEAKER_03: I just don't have it recorded.
SPEAKER_00: Well, you got to get on that.
SPEAKER_03: I've got some rock things I've done in the past with heavy metal and, like, punk music.
SPEAKER_03: Right?
SPEAKER_03: Oh, absolutely.
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, the rock thing, oh, that's easy.
SPEAKER_03: That's like a piece of cake.
SPEAKER_03: Two and four.
SPEAKER_03: Two and four take the money, go home.
SPEAKER_03: I do mostly jazz, because that's the hard shit, you know,
SPEAKER_03: where they're playing something, you know, different every beat.
SPEAKER_03: You know, and different inversions and chords.
SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's some hard shit.
SPEAKER_03: And then playing like Elvin Jones, you know.
Alex Trebek: Sling Elvin.
SPEAKER_03: But rock and roll is just da-nan-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-h-h.
Alex Trebek: Two and four.
Alex Trebek: All right, well, I got to run.
SPEAKER_03: And they got a lot of country, and then you can mix the country stuff with the rock-and-roll stuff.
SPEAKER_03: You could actually put them in hip-hop, and you've got to experiment around, you know.
SPEAKER_03: Got it.
SPEAKER_03: All right.
SPEAKER_03: I mix things up a lot.
SPEAKER_03: I put different time signature instruments in with different time-signature instruments,
SPEAKER_03: put a different drummer on, or a different piano player, or a different guitar player.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, fuck, yeah.
SPEAKER_03: Cool, go record and let me know when you come on in, all right?
SPEAKER_03: Gina.