Longmont Potion Castle 15 (2018)

Longmont Potion Castle 15

Track 2: Illegalese

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  • SPEAKER_01: Hello.
  • SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is Keith calling.
  • SPEAKER_01: What do you guys doing up?
  • SPEAKER_00: What are you talking about, the attorney?
  • SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
  • SPEAKER_00: Well, here's what I need to do.
  • SPEAKER_00: I need to file a wheel for my dad, power of attorney.
  • SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
  • SPEAKER_00: And, uh, assets, uh, I need to file, uh, I need to file, uh,
  • SPEAKER_00: a will for my husband and myself.
  • SPEAKER_00: None of us really have a lot of money.
  • SPEAKER_00: And, uh, my, uh, I need to file, uh, against the Kaiser.
  • SPEAKER_00: The farmers, uh, whatever.
  • SPEAKER_00: Uh, there's several of them involved.
  • SPEAKER_00: Uh, who else? I can't remember.
  • SPEAKER_00: And, uh, one more, but I can't remember.
  • SPEAKER_00: I have them written down.
  • SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
  • SPEAKER_01: Well, we need to get an adversary proceeding where I need to get affidavits, an affirmation, where we can pick some alternate jurors,
  • SPEAKER_01: because the manner in which they select jurors is not the regular way that I like to proceed.
  • SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
  • SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
  • SPEAKER_01: And I need to get a formal written statement from you.
  • SPEAKER_00: Oh, the other one for the city of Westminster.
  • SPEAKER_00: Oh.
  • SPEAKER_01: Are you familiar with Article 3?
  • SPEAKER_00: No, what's that?
  • SPEAKER_00: The constituent they get for the time.
  • SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
  • SPEAKER_00: Well, it might be too late, but I, I fell at City Park of Westminster.
  • SPEAKER_00: and when I was told that I'd have to hire a returney if I wanted them to pay for therapy.
  • SPEAKER_00: And now I have to file bankruptcy because everything I got is going to therapy and I can't even afford it.
  • SPEAKER_00: I've dropped out of therapy a few times with the new insurance company because I can't afford it.
  • SPEAKER_01: I need to get you to fill out a formal request for bankruptcy protection, and we'll get that to the judiciary and all interests of the debtor and property at the time of you're filing will technically become temporary legal property of the debtor.
  • SPEAKER_01: So you understand.
  • SPEAKER_00: I think that all my phones are tapped because of my son.
  • SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I meant to put...
  • SPEAKER_00: other number in it.
  • SPEAKER_00: Probably too late now they already have, you know, what I'm going to do.
  • SPEAKER_01: Your phones tap?
  • SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think so, all of them.
  • SPEAKER_00: I bought a throwaway cell phone, but I think I put the wrong number on it.
  • SPEAKER_01: Oh, have you committed a capital offense?
  • SPEAKER_00: Oh.
  • SPEAKER_01: Well, it just depends on the caseload and the judge and his or her chambers.
  • SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
  • SPEAKER_01: So if we're going to get you reorganized with a bankruptcy plan, we need to adjust your debts to a family fisherman.
  • SPEAKER_01: It's called the family fisherman.
  • SPEAKER_01: That's the code name.
  • SPEAKER_00: So how did you get this phone number?
  • SPEAKER_00: Because I didn't...
  • SPEAKER_00: Is there a way you can come to my house because there's so many of us and so much to do?
  • SPEAKER_00: Also, that is saying, too, though, that my house could be.
  • SPEAKER_00: tapped. It's because of my son. I can tell you later, you know, what all's going on there.
  • SPEAKER_00: What's going on there? Well, my son's a drug addict. Why did he tap your phone?
  • SPEAKER_00: No, the cops, I think, haven't tapped. I haven't done anything. My husband and I are honest.
  • SPEAKER_00: We go to church, but somebody, I believe, has my phone tap because we've had several things missing from the
  • SPEAKER_00: house.
  • SPEAKER_00: My safe, somebody broke in, and saw it off in half.
  • SPEAKER_00: I should have saved it, but I didn't. I finally threw it away.
  • SPEAKER_00: I just can't take it anymore.
  • SPEAKER_00: I made my son move out so I can move on with my life.
  • SPEAKER_00: My husband got hurt at work.
  • SPEAKER_00: He doesn't want to pursue a lawsuit because he likes what he does.
  • SPEAKER_00: But he pulled...
  • SPEAKER_00: Biceps.
  • SPEAKER_01: His biceps.
  • SPEAKER_00: Biceps.
  • SPEAKER_00: He doesn't want to lose it because he's filing work.
  • SPEAKER_01: We're going to sue your son for $200,000.
  • SPEAKER_00: Oh, my son, no, I don't want to sue him.
  • SPEAKER_00: He doesn't have money.
  • SPEAKER_00: I just wanted him out of the house.
  • SPEAKER_01: Not when we're done with him. We're going to sue him for $210,000.
  • SPEAKER_01: That's almost a quarter of a million dollars.
  • SPEAKER_00: You just have money.
  • SPEAKER_01: He's got almost a quarter of a million dollar lawsuit coming down the pike.
  • SPEAKER_01: The moon.
  • SPEAKER_01: And I want to get that signed and dated with today's date on it with you and your husband.
  • SPEAKER_01: Get some signed affidavitans.
  • SPEAKER_01: Because he's looking at a prison term for all these offenses, breaking into your safe.
  • SPEAKER_01: He's going to serve two consecutive sentences for 20 years apiece.
  • SPEAKER_01: And he's going to file.
  • SPEAKER_01: We wouldn't.
  • SPEAKER_00: No, we wouldn't do that.
  • SPEAKER_00: You don't think the police department has my phone's staff.
  • SPEAKER_00: My son wouldn't do that.
  • SPEAKER_01: Does your son dial the telephone?
  • SPEAKER_00: No, he moved out.
  • SPEAKER_00: We threw him out.
  • SPEAKER_01: Oh.
  • SPEAKER_01: Does he have any creditors and credit cards or the telephone?
  • SPEAKER_01: Um.
  • SPEAKER_02: Does he have any creditors and credit cards?
  • SPEAKER_02: How many credit cards has he done dialed the telephone?
  • SPEAKER_01: How many credit carriers has he done?
  • SPEAKER_01: He doesn't have any money and he doesn't have anything.
  • SPEAKER_00: He says he declared.
  • SPEAKER_01: We're going to have to discharge him from his credit cards and I'll be taking those
  • SPEAKER_01: and I'll be filing a suit under the judicial code.
  • SPEAKER_01: For what?
  • SPEAKER_01: We'll get that on the docket.
  • SPEAKER_01: First thing, and we're going to prosecute your son for breaking and entering.
  • SPEAKER_01: No, I don't think he's a telephone.
  • SPEAKER_00: He lived here until about a week ago.
  • SPEAKER_01: I have so much evidence.
  • SPEAKER_01: It's called ex parte.
  • SPEAKER_00: No, my husband wouldn't allow that.
  • SPEAKER_01: Oh.
  • SPEAKER_01: So you want your son to be exempt from the whole proceeding?
  • SPEAKER_00: Yes.
  • SPEAKER_01: Oh.
  • SPEAKER_00: So you want your son?
  • SPEAKER_00: Everything you're saying right now is being repeated back to me.
  • SPEAKER_00: So give me five minutes. Let me get up and get dressed.
  • SPEAKER_00: I'll call you back from the price.
  • SPEAKER_01: That'll work. That'll work. That'll work.
  • SPEAKER_01: We're going to do habeas corpus up the union.
  • SPEAKER_01: All right.
  • SPEAKER_01: We'll get a fresh start on it.
  • SPEAKER_00: Thanks. Bye-bye.
  • SPEAKER_01: I'm going to convene a grand jury.
  • SPEAKER_01: We'll get a fresh 23 citizens and we're going to sue your son for $200,000.
  • SPEAKER_01: Take his credit card.