Longmont Potion Castle 12 (2016)
Track 6: Game Stop
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SPEAKER_01: Thank you for nine games.
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SPEAKER_01: We can buy more of the proper words credit card.
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SPEAKER_01: This is William speaking.
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SPEAKER_01: How about you?
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SPEAKER_00: Yeah, William.
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SPEAKER_00: I came in there and I rented Halo for my game system, right?
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None: Okay.
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SPEAKER_00: You with me there?
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SPEAKER_00: William.
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None: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and this disc kept popping out and my controller was not responding.
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SPEAKER_00: And I was conquering all kinds of stuff,
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SPEAKER_00: but it wasn't reflected in my score.
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SPEAKER_00: And I just think this game was bunk.
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SPEAKER_00: I figure I'm going to need triple my rental feedback.
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None: We don't get it.
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SPEAKER_01: We only sell again.
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SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm going to need triple my chair refunded to me.
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SPEAKER_00: I figured just from aggravation in time.
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SPEAKER_01: No, sorry, we don't do that.
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SPEAKER_00: No?
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SPEAKER_01: If you have broken up on the disc, we bring it back and we'll swap it out for you, but that's all we do.
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SPEAKER_00: Oh, there's a big problem.
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SPEAKER_00: Huge problem.
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SPEAKER_00: Major problem.
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SPEAKER_01: Well, one of the problem in the disc, bring it back and we swap it out for you, and we'll take it every point.
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SPEAKER_00: Man, I'm telling you, I defeated this guy.
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SPEAKER_00: Another guy, I defeated people left and right.
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SPEAKER_00: But my score stayed at zero.
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SPEAKER_00: at O?
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SPEAKER_01: Don't even know.
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SPEAKER_01: You're talking about your Xbox Live?
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SPEAKER_01: Achieve it?
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SPEAKER_00: Yes.
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SPEAKER_00: It's a heck of an achievement.
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SPEAKER_00: Your game you sold me says, oh, on the score.
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SPEAKER_01: Well, man, there's a problem with the game.
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SPEAKER_01: Bring it back.
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SPEAKER_01: We'll swap it out for you.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm going to swap out back of my hand here if I don't get some satisfaction.
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SPEAKER_01: Okay, sir.
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SPEAKER_01: You know what?
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SPEAKER_01: You can bring it back.
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SPEAKER_01: We'll take care of it for you.
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SPEAKER_01: We'll swap out the game.
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SPEAKER_01: But you know what?
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SPEAKER_01: Do not threaten me like that again.
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SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
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SPEAKER_01: You have a nice thing.
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SPEAKER_00: Who do I need to talk to up there?
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SPEAKER_01: Thank you for going to game stuff.
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SPEAKER_01: We can buy more with the proper words credit cards.
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SPEAKER_01: This is William's speaking hug out of you.
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SPEAKER_00: Yeah, who am I talking to, up her?
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SPEAKER_01: It's me again, and you know what?
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SPEAKER_01: I told you, come on down with the game.
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SPEAKER_01: We'll swap it out for you, but your behavior is just threatening now to come bound in his backhand.
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SPEAKER_01: Smack me.
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SPEAKER_01: You know what?
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SPEAKER_01: Kill life.
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SPEAKER_01: Next time, if you come down and we'll deal with it,
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SPEAKER_01: and you'll have the cops here, too, and we can have a nice discussion with that.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm going to swap out your teeth.
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SPEAKER_01: Thank you for going to game stuff.
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SPEAKER_01: We can buy more with the proper awards credit cards.
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SPEAKER_01: This is William's sticking hug out of you.
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SPEAKER_00: Look at here, bunghole.
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None: You know what? I've already told you what we can do. You've already threatened to come down and
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SPEAKER_01: backhand us. You know what? That is unacceptable. That is immature. I am not going to deal
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SPEAKER_01: with you, sir. I will take care of the game if there's a problem with that, but that's all
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SPEAKER_01: we're doing, and stop calling because you're now harassing us, and I've already contacted
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SPEAKER_01: the police. So, you know what, I've already tracked your number and it's recording this to them.
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SPEAKER_01: So, you know what? Keep it up. And the house will have a nice little chat with you eventually.
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SPEAKER_01: You know what? Have a nice day, man.
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SPEAKER_01: Thank you for going game, stop. We can buy more of that power for credit cards. This is you get
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SPEAKER_01: for help you.
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SPEAKER_00: You're ready to feel my freaking grip once I come up, Eric?
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SPEAKER_02: I don't really care. How's that?
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SPEAKER_00: Straighten this out here.
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SPEAKER_02: Well, no, I think that there's some sort of issue with you, perhaps.
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SPEAKER_02: Maybe you should calm down a little bit. I don't think that you need to be making any sort of threats.
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SPEAKER_00: Well, I've got a copy of Halo here, and this cartridge is all screwed up.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, cartridge?
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SPEAKER_02: Halo was never on a cartridge. I think you're confused.
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SPEAKER_00: You're going to be confused once I come up and settle to score.
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SPEAKER_00: How's that on?
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SPEAKER_02: What?
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SPEAKER_02: Seriously. What do you imply? Say it straight. Go play it right out.
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SPEAKER_00: This defective Halo I got here.
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SPEAKER_02: So what is defective? You said a cartridge for Halo?
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SPEAKER_00: The score reads, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, after I defeated everybody in sight.
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SPEAKER_02: Well, what does that have to do with us? That would be a software issue.
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SPEAKER_02: If you're having an issue with your console, I would suggest calling Microsoft.
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SPEAKER_00: Is that clear enough for you?
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SPEAKER_02: Was my answer clear enough for you?
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SPEAKER_00: How about you feel my grip? How's that sound?
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SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, what does that mean?
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SPEAKER_02: Do you have a problem holding something?
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SPEAKER_00: I'm going to grip your lips.
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SPEAKER_02: Are you making a threat?
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SPEAKER_02: Be a little more eloquent in what you're trying to say instead of making veiled threats.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm going to ring your freaking neck. That's what I'm going to do.
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SPEAKER_02: Okay. Well, what we're going to do is we're going to call the police right now, and there's going to be a report filed against you.
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SPEAKER_02: How's that one for you?
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SPEAKER_00: What do you mean by that?
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SPEAKER_02: I don't know. Do you understand English? Does that not make sense to you if we call the police and file a report against you because you're making threats?
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SPEAKER_00: I'm going to ring your freaking neck if you don't give me what a need.
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SPEAKER_02: What is your problem?
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SPEAKER_00: I want triple my purchase price refunded to me today.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, blackmail there's a work, buddy.
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SPEAKER_02: We already know about you. We've already heard. You called yesterday and pulled this stuff.
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SPEAKER_00: Just give me the manager there, tough guy.
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SPEAKER_02: I am the manager, so that's it. You're done. You hear me?
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SPEAKER_02: You want to call and make threats? I will be calling the police and filing a report right now.
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SPEAKER_02: You want to call back? I'll make sure that they're aware of it.
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SPEAKER_00: Don't do that.
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SPEAKER_02: Why wouldn't I do that? You just made a threat.
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SPEAKER_00: I'll come up and settle it one-on-one there, smart guy.
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, no. Really? Is that what you're going to do? Because it's fine.
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SPEAKER_02: Let me know when you're going to be here because I will have a police officer waiting for you.
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SPEAKER_00: I played Halo for 90 minutes and my score reads, oh, oh, oh. This thing's defective.
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SPEAKER_02: You've already made threats, which means that this conversation is being civil or us taking care of your problem.
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SPEAKER_02: It's done. It's no one's void.
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SPEAKER_00: You're going to feel my foot. That's the way it's going to go down.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm going to feel your foot.
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SPEAKER_02: Please tell me.
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SPEAKER_02: me when you'll be here, I will have a police officer waiting so that we can have this
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SPEAKER_02: taken care of so that they can arrest you for making physical threats over the phone.
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SPEAKER_00: 10, 15 minutes from now.
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SPEAKER_02: Okay. I'll be waiting here for you. I'll see you in 15 minutes.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm going to bring my joystick and wrap it around your freaking neck.
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SPEAKER_00: Not a problem. Not a problem at all.
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SPEAKER_02: You are absolutely hilariously idiotic.
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SPEAKER_00: Not a problem at all. I'll take care of you and then I'll settle the score. That's what I'm
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SPEAKER_00: going to do.
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SPEAKER_02: I'll settle what score. You've been making this whole thing up the entire.
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SPEAKER_02: time you were talking about halos and you talked about a cartridge, you can't keep your story
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SPEAKER_02: straight. So if you can give me a straight story, maybe I could have helped you, but instead,
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SPEAKER_02: it is resorted to making threats about hitting people.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm going to pull your frickin' teeth out, one by one. How's that sound tonight?
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, that sounds wonderful.
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SPEAKER_02: Do you have any other, like, dentistry that you like to try to do on me today?
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SPEAKER_00: No, I think you'll be done after that. You'll be toast.
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SPEAKER_02: I'll be toast. You're going to put me in your toaster as well?
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SPEAKER_00: Why don't you shut your trap?
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SPEAKER_02: No, I'm sorry. You were the one that was done.
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SPEAKER_02: You're trying to be smart with this, and hilarious.
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SPEAKER_02: I'll leave my trap wide open at this point.
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SPEAKER_00: Just give me your manager.
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SPEAKER_02: I told you. I am the manager.
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SPEAKER_00: I don't believe you, first of all.
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SPEAKER_02: Well, too bad.
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SPEAKER_02: The truth is, I am the manager on duty, and I'm the highest authority that you can speak to right now.
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SPEAKER_02: And in fact, you're on speakerphone for the other people who are working in the store right now.
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SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
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SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm going to take my elbow to your rib cage, and then you'll be the lowest employee when you're laying on the freaking ground.
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SPEAKER_02: Gosh.
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SPEAKER_02: This has started off.
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SPEAKER_02: as something about a broken halo game, and then you directly moved to making physical threats.
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SPEAKER_02: When I told you that I didn't understand what the issue that you were talking about, you said it was reading zero, zero, zero across the board.
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SPEAKER_02: That sounds like a software issue, which is not something that I would be able to help you with.
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SPEAKER_02: In fact, I don't even know what you mean by that.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm going to break your ribs.
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SPEAKER_00: One by one.
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SPEAKER_00: Until you give me triple my money back.
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SPEAKER_02: Until your impudent little threat stop, there's not going to be actually anything that's going to be happening.
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SPEAKER_00: Quit wasting my time.
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SPEAKER_02: No, I think you're wasting my time.
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SPEAKER_02: Although, actually, you've made my day pretty hilarious.
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SPEAKER_00: Buddy, just put your regional manager on the phone.
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SPEAKER_02: There's not going to be any escalations because, see, this is how it works in the state of California.
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SPEAKER_02: When you make a verbal threat or you harass an employee of a store, we are no longer legally obligated to deal with your garbage.
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SPEAKER_02: So if you call back, we will, actually, it won't even matter because when you do call back, it will be busy.
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SPEAKER_02: Because I'm going to have a phone off the hook because I'm going to be talking to the police department.
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SPEAKER_02: And I'm going to be filing a complaint against you.
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SPEAKER_02: Trust me, I'm calling.
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SPEAKER_02: When I hang up here, I'm going to be calling the police department.
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SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're going to be in fantasy land once I knock you out.
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SPEAKER_02: Oh, my gosh.
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SPEAKER_02: The only reason why I'm continuing to talk to is because I find it hilarious.
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SPEAKER_02: But at this point, the same repetition of the most idiotic statements has gotten boring.
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SPEAKER_02: So goodbye.