Track 3: Cheeks Trap

• SPEAKER_00: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Oh, hi, yes.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm Buster Cheeks.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I was looking for an apartment.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I was wondering if you could help me, please.
  
• SPEAKER_01: In Syracuse?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What size apartment are you looking for?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hi there. Can you hear me?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I have a bad phone connection in my apartment.
  
• SPEAKER_01: So what size are you looking for?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, I just want to make sure it's going to be compatible.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I do a lot of hopscotch.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I don't know what that is.
  
• SPEAKER_00: You know, you hop on the ground, left, left, right, left, right, right, left, right.
  
• SPEAKER_00: A lot of hopping up and down with hopscotch.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I want to make sure we're going to be compatible with the room and the flooring and the layout.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're going to jump up and down on top of the other tenant's head.
  
• SPEAKER_01: They'll be annoyed.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, maybe I could be under them.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, what size room?
  
• SPEAKER_00: You know, I like to...
  
• SPEAKER_01: Are you looking for a two-bedroom apartment, a three-bedroom apartment, a rooming house room,
  
• SPEAKER_01: a one-bedroom, a studio.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm open.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I tend to set a lot of booby traps, you know, for intruders and stuff.
  
• SPEAKER_00: So I want to make sure it's going to be a good fit, you know, compatibility-wise,
  
• SPEAKER_00: so I can set my booby traps.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm, you know, we don't have, we're filled up right now.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Anything that we have is going to be available down the line,
  
• SPEAKER_01: and I don't know when we're going to be finished with the renovations.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Renovations, well, I don't need anything that fancy.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I also have.
  
• SPEAKER_00: How's a lot of, huh?
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hello.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hi, yeah, it's Buster.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Do you think we could talk about, like, a shared rooming kind of thing instead?
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't have anything available that would work for you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Why is that?
  
• SPEAKER_01: It sounds like you're going to bother the neighbors.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't have any ground floor units.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You're going to bother the neighbors.
  
• SPEAKER_00: No.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You've got some sort of, and I don't want my property's booby-trapped.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, you need to look elsewhere.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm unable to assist you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Well, my main thing is that.
  
• SPEAKER_00: that I house a lot of jumping beans in there.
  
• SPEAKER_00: That's what I do for work.
  
• SPEAKER_00: So as long as we're okay on that, I think we could probably move forward.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I think that you're playing games with me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Man, I have nowhere to live.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Well, you should go to a shelter.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not a social service organization.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I have the money so we could get this put together.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't have any ground floor units of it.
  
• SPEAKER_01: What part of this don't you understand?
  
• SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have any ground floor.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I can be on a higher floor.
  
• SPEAKER_00: No problem.
  
• SPEAKER_00: All day.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Jumping on top of people.
  
• SPEAKER_01: heads.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Jumping on top of my, you've already said that you jump up and down and shuffle left and right.
  
• SPEAKER_00: How about a big cash deposit?
  
• SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I can give you some jumping beans free of charge.
  
• SPEAKER_01: According to New York State law, I can only accept one month security.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not interested in having you as a tenant.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You've said that you jump up and down.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You play hopscotch in your apartment.
  
• SPEAKER_01: You really put up your apartment.
  
• SPEAKER_00: All day long.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And it's not about money.
  
• SPEAKER_01: It's about creating successful communities in which people can live.
  
• SPEAKER_01: And Buster.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I think you're busting my chops.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not interested in having you as a tenant.
  
• SPEAKER_01: If you want to file a complaint with me, go ahead.
  
• SPEAKER_00: A complaint.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I don't even know you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I have no ground floor units for me.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Do not call me again.
  
• SPEAKER_00: What if I set a booby trap for you?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Free of charge.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Protect yourself.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not interested in you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Don't call me again.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not interested in renting to you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I'm not interested in carrying on any more conversations with you.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Look, I'm going to send you a PayPal payment, okay?
  
• SPEAKER_00: And we can just get things started that way.
  
• SPEAKER_00: That's no problem at all.
  
• SPEAKER_01: I don't have a PayPal account.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Or Venmo, you know, whatever it takes.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Fuck you.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Get out of my life.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Listen, I just need a place to live here.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Hello?
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hi, yes, this is Buster.
  
• SPEAKER_00: Cheeks. I did want to let you know I'm just dropping.
  
• SPEAKER_01: Oh, fuck you. Get out of my life.
  
• SPEAKER_00: I'm just going to bring you some references, okay?