wallace-thrasher

Longmont Potion Castle 20 (2023)

Track 9: Aardvark

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SPEAKER_19: Hi, I'm not seeing anything that we have or have had that just has the title Ardvark.
SPEAKER_19: Could it be a different title, maybe?
SPEAKER_14: I'm looking up Lone Shark in my inventory, and nothing's popping up on that.
SPEAKER_19: I'm sorry, were you looking for a book called Ardvark?
SPEAKER_14: Oh, I'm sorry, I got Lone Sharp from that. That's my bed. Ardvark. Okay, that is on me.
SPEAKER_14: Pardon me.
SPEAKER_19: Oh, no, you're fine. Um...
SPEAKER_14: I have Ardvark.
SPEAKER_14: is ready for war, is what's popping up.
SPEAKER_12: Defunct Books?
SPEAKER_12: Hello?
SPEAKER_12: Hello?
SPEAKER_19: Huh? Hello?
SPEAKER_12: Yeah, again, somebody called me.
SPEAKER_12: This is Defunc Books in Nashville?
SPEAKER_19: This is Lemuria bookstore in Jackson.
SPEAKER_19: I just had someone on the phone who was looking for a book called Ardbark.
SPEAKER_12: This is Square Books right here.
SPEAKER_12: I'm confused as to why you're calling me.
SPEAKER_12: Ardvark?
SPEAKER_05: This is Heather. How may help you?
SPEAKER_05: Hello?
SPEAKER_07: Are we, hello, are we getting, what the heck's going on here?
SPEAKER_05: This is Heather from Foxton Books. Did you call us?
SPEAKER_07: No, this is Brian from Chapter 2 books in Hudson.
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
SPEAKER_07: Somebody just called me and looking for a book.
SPEAKER_05: Okay. And where do we come into it?
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
SPEAKER_05: Hello?
SPEAKER_05: Did you just call Chapter 2 books?
SPEAKER_05: Nope.
SPEAKER_08: Uh, you know what we've said?
SPEAKER_08: Uh, you know what we've said?
SPEAKER_08: about to a book company.
SPEAKER_08: Somebody called me, okay?
SPEAKER_05: Yep.
SPEAKER_05: Yep.
SPEAKER_05: I hope you're having a great day.
SPEAKER_07: You too.
SPEAKER_07: This is weird.
SPEAKER_07: I still got somebody on the other line.
SPEAKER_07: What is going on here?
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
SPEAKER_05: I don't know, but James is saying this is happening to one of our employees this morning.
SPEAKER_08: Hey, guys.
SPEAKER_08: I'm a third.
SPEAKER_08: I'm just...
SPEAKER_05: Customer calling and has multiple people on the line.
SPEAKER_05: I don't know how they're doing it, but it's led to a lot of confusion.
SPEAKER_05: So I'm just going to take us.
SPEAKER_05: So I'm just going to take us.
SPEAKER_05: out of the equation.
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
SPEAKER_07: Well, all right.
SPEAKER_07: Thanks.
SPEAKER_07: Thank you.
SPEAKER_07: Bye.
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, I'm still here.
SPEAKER_08: Hey, I'm Chris at Boswell Book Company.
SPEAKER_08: Are you at a bookstore?
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
SPEAKER_07: Chapter 2 books in Hudson, Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_08: Okay.
SPEAKER_08: We've talked to people at the attic in Green Bay, too, where we've had this.
SPEAKER_08: And I don't know who else was on the line just now, but yeah.
SPEAKER_08: Okay.
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, no idea why.
SPEAKER_08: We've gotten a bunch of...
SPEAKER_08: I did not put the call.
SPEAKER_08: You guys, someone else is...
SPEAKER_08: Here's a call right here.
SPEAKER_01: My area of books.
SPEAKER_01: This is me.
SPEAKER_08: Hi.
SPEAKER_08: Hi, this is Chris at Boswell Book Company.
SPEAKER_08: Um, on this...
SPEAKER_08: Okay.
SPEAKER_08: We're on the chain here.
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, have you been...
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, have you been calls about baboon?
SPEAKER_07: You know, if we wait long enough,
SPEAKER_07: we might be able to get the whole population of Wisconsin on this call.
SPEAKER_07: I know.
SPEAKER_16: I don't know what's going on.
SPEAKER_16: So is who's meaning to call down down?
SPEAKER_16: So is who's meaning to call downtown books?
SPEAKER_08: No.
SPEAKER_08: No one.
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, no, no one.
SPEAKER_08: Okay, this is done getting these two.
SPEAKER_08: This is Chris at Boswell.
SPEAKER_16: Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_16: I don't know.
SPEAKER_16: I don't know what's going on either.
SPEAKER_16: Yeah.
SPEAKER_16: This is Downtown bookstore, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: This is Lemuria bookstore.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we had a call earlier about somebody went in Ardvark, and I think we hung up, but after we realized, like, everyone was on it.
SPEAKER_01: But, yeah, I don't know what's going on.
SPEAKER_01: This is very weird.
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
SPEAKER_08: It seems like it's going to keep doing.
SPEAKER_08: I have no idea.
SPEAKER_08: It's just.
SPEAKER_16: Okay, all right.
SPEAKER_16: Well, if no one's intending it's called Downtown Books, then I'll just hang up.
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, I'm going to do the same.
SPEAKER_08: Good luck, guys.
SPEAKER_16: Okay.
SPEAKER_07: All right.
SPEAKER_07: We'll talk later.
SPEAKER_06: Hi there.
SPEAKER_06: So, I guess we're trying to find a book for you called Baboon.
SPEAKER_02: Who are you?
SPEAKER_06: You could call the bookstore.
SPEAKER_02: What bookstore you're talking about?
SPEAKER_06: Kino Kunia, the bookstore at Japan Town?
SPEAKER_06: You're full of shit.
SPEAKER_06: Um, okay.
SPEAKER_15: supposed to help your friend.
SPEAKER_15: Sorry?
SPEAKER_15: I don't understand what your friend would like to get, what kind of book he wants.
SPEAKER_15: Oh, is this about the book?
SPEAKER_15: Yeah, he wants the book, A-A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K, correct?
SPEAKER_15: I apologize.
SPEAKER_18: Yeah, this is Boswell Book Company.
SPEAKER_18: Someone has been calling around.
SPEAKER_02: Hello?
SPEAKER_18: Hello.
SPEAKER_18: Hello?
SPEAKER_18: Hello.
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
SPEAKER_18: Are you calling about a bookstore?
SPEAKER_02: What bookstore are you talking about?
SPEAKER_18: The one in Milwaukee.
SPEAKER_18: Did someone call you asking about a book?
SPEAKER_02: What kind of book you're talking about?
SPEAKER_15: Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_15: His name is Joe.
SPEAKER_15: He asks him for a book, and he spell me the name, A-A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K,
SPEAKER_15: and that you're supposed to give me ISB number so that I can find whether we have it.
SPEAKER_02: You know something?
SPEAKER_02: You know something what I want to tell you?
SPEAKER_02: You're a criminal, and you're stupid.
SPEAKER_02: You're a very big criminal.
SPEAKER_02: You're a son of a bitch.
SPEAKER_15: My goodness, I don't know.
SPEAKER_15: That's a customer who called me asking for this book.
SPEAKER_15: I don't know what he's talking about.
SPEAKER_08: Thanks for contact, sir.
SPEAKER_15: Okay, sorry about that.
SPEAKER_15: I apologize.
SPEAKER_15: Anything wrong from my side.
SPEAKER_10: Who is this?
SPEAKER_10: Hello?
SPEAKER_15: Hello?
SPEAKER_10: You're supposed to be helping me figure out which art work book I'm looking for?
SPEAKER_13: Well, I can. I own a bookstore, Smith, and Hannan.
SPEAKER_10: I got a call from somebody who said that they were getting somebody else on the phone.
SPEAKER_10: Hello?
SPEAKER_13: Hello?
SPEAKER_10: Yes.
SPEAKER_13: Joe?
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
SPEAKER_02: Hi.
SPEAKER_13: Hello. Did you call me?
SPEAKER_13: Joe.
SPEAKER_13: Who are you?
SPEAKER_02: Who are you?
SPEAKER_09: I would be looking for a book called Ardvark, but the last person I talked to
SPEAKER_09: who didn't have enough information about it for me to find it?
SPEAKER_02: What kind of book you're talking about?
SPEAKER_02: Just a minute.
SPEAKER_09: I don't know what's going on.
SPEAKER_02: Please leave your message.
SPEAKER_02: You're full of crap.
SPEAKER_02: You're criminals.
SPEAKER_02: You're criminals.
SPEAKER_19: You're criminals.
SPEAKER_19: First edition, rare books.
SPEAKER_19: Please hold while we connect your call.
SPEAKER_04: Well, uh, if any of you were ever in Milwaukee's General Mitchell Field,
SPEAKER_04: we have the world's first used bookstore in an airport, and you're all welcome.
SPEAKER_17: Uh, can I go?
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
SPEAKER_04: I'm terribly sorry, everybody.
SPEAKER_17: No, it's a lot.
SPEAKER_17: Okay. Did you mean to call Annie Bloom's books in Portland, Oregon?
SPEAKER_04: I did not. I, I, uh...
SPEAKER_04: Are you talking to me? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?
SPEAKER_04: I'm Mike at the Renaissance in Milwaukee, and, uh, the other lady is Katie at Annie Bloom Books in
SPEAKER_04: Portland. And how we all ended up on lines together, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02: Well, let me tell you. Let me tell you who you are. You're a mother fucking chicken shit
SPEAKER_02: criminal. You'll be in jail. You a piece of shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
SPEAKER_02: You're a cancer for the medical. You're a piece of shit, shit, shit.
SPEAKER_04: Well, this is fascinating. Apparently, uh, someone from the, uh, Trump campaign is on the line.
SPEAKER_04: Farewell.
SPEAKER_04: That's hilarious.
SPEAKER_03: Excuse me. Did you hear what I said?
SPEAKER_03: We have 150,000 books in this store. I don't know what kind of book it is really. I don't know what kind of book it is really. When you say nonfiction, we have nonfiction, African American, Asian American. His
SPEAKER_03: American, gay, lesbian, transgender, labor, radical left movements, right wean,
SPEAKER_03: Asian languages. Do you understand the problem with looking to see if it's there?
SPEAKER_03: We have 150,000 books on the whole top floor. What is it about?
SPEAKER_03: Hello?
SPEAKER_03: Hi, what is this book you're looking for? Say this again?
SPEAKER_03: What is the book that you are looking for here?
SPEAKER_02: Did I ever tell you about the book?
SPEAKER_03: What did I tell you?
SPEAKER_03: You said you picked up a book called Ardvark at our shop.
SPEAKER_02: Where are you? What shop are you in?
SPEAKER_02: Ballerium books.
SPEAKER_02: You're a motherfucker criminal.
SPEAKER_02: You're a piece of shit. You're going to be in jail very soon. You son of a bitch.
SPEAKER_11: Hello? Yeah.
SPEAKER_11: Okay. Um, so I understand you're trying to find a book called Bebbs.
SPEAKER_07: Boone. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_07: Downtown books.
SPEAKER_11: I was speaking to someone on the phone who said they were going to go get someone who knew more about this book they were asking about.
SPEAKER_11: Are you that person?
SPEAKER_16: No, I don't know. It's weird. Who are you calling Baswell books or downtown books?
SPEAKER_11: Okay. I am in a bookstore and someone, presumably a customer, was calling and asking if we have more copies of this book called Baboon.
SPEAKER_11: And it's not an interesting.
SPEAKER_16: Yeah, I don't know. It must be Boswell books. I don't know.
SPEAKER_16: Because this is downtown books. And for some reason, we're getting calls that are intended for Boswell over here.
SPEAKER_16: It's very bizarre. I don't know if they did something where they forwarded a call or something. I don't know.
SPEAKER_11: Good afternoon.
SPEAKER_11: Well, it sounds like there's something with the phone system.
SPEAKER_16: Yeah. Is there somebody else on the line now?
SPEAKER_11: Well, I just heard of third wife, a woman.
SPEAKER_11: Yeah, okay. So the thing is.
SPEAKER_11: It must be for someone else.
SPEAKER_11: It must be for a different store.
SPEAKER_16: Yeah, hold on.
SPEAKER_16: There's someone else on the line now.
SPEAKER_16: Listen to them.
SPEAKER_16: Okay.
SPEAKER_16: Go ahead.
SPEAKER_16: Is this Brian?
SPEAKER_06: This is Ryan at Book Soup.
SPEAKER_16: How about you?
SPEAKER_11: I'm going to hang up because this is clearly nothing to do with our store.
SPEAKER_16: Okay.
SPEAKER_16: All right.
SPEAKER_16: So I don't know what's going on.
SPEAKER_16: There seems to be stuff going on.
SPEAKER_16: This is Book Soup?
SPEAKER_05: No, this is Skylight Books.
SPEAKER_16: Okay.
SPEAKER_16: That's even more strange.
SPEAKER_16: Is book soup on the line?
SPEAKER_16: No, I don't know how somebody.
SPEAKER_06: Why am I part of the story?
SPEAKER_06: It's called?
SPEAKER_06: Hello?
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
SPEAKER_16: There seems to be a whole bunch of different people
SPEAKER_16: on this line from different bookstores.
SPEAKER_16: Very bizarre.
SPEAKER_06: Strange.
SPEAKER_16: I don't know.
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
SPEAKER_06: All right.
SPEAKER_06: Is this something I can help you with or?
SPEAKER_16: Right, because someone called me.
SPEAKER_06: Okay, I'm going to hang up.
SPEAKER_06: Okay, I'm going to hang up.
SPEAKER_16: Okay.
SPEAKER_16: All right.
SPEAKER_16: I guess I'm going to hang up, too, because it doesn't.
SPEAKER_16: I'm not looking for a book.
SPEAKER_16: I'm a bookstore.
SPEAKER_16: There's something bizarre going on.
SPEAKER_16: Who is this?
SPEAKER_16: There's something bizarre going on with the phone system here.
SPEAKER_16: What's that?
SPEAKER_08: It's true to me.
SPEAKER_08: This is Matt.
SPEAKER_08: What is that?
SPEAKER_16: So do you think I called you?
SPEAKER_09: Yeah.
SPEAKER_09: I just got a call from this.
SPEAKER_16: Now there's three of us on the line, right?
SPEAKER_16: Something very strange is going on.
SPEAKER_16: Where there seems to be all these, where are you from?
SPEAKER_08: I've heard this is a scam.
SPEAKER_18: This is.
SPEAKER_18: This is a scam. Hang up.
None: Okay.
SPEAKER_18: Everyone hang up.
SPEAKER_18: Stop doing this to people, okay?
SPEAKER_18: Hang up.
SPEAKER_18: Stop calling, okay?
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for calling, Pozman Books,
SPEAKER_00: where we offer no books on baboons.
SPEAKER_00: How can I help you?
SPEAKER_18: Stop calling, okay?
SPEAKER_18: We don't have time for this.
SPEAKER_18: Thank you for calling Kino-Kunia, Santa Monica.
SPEAKER_18: This is me.
SPEAKER_18: No, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up,
SPEAKER_18: hang up, it's a scam.
SPEAKER_18: Hang up, it's a scam.