Track 5: 3-23-19 Live New York NY 2
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SPEAKER_04: Uh, LPC, are you there?
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SPEAKER_04: Hi, hi, hi, hi, how are you doing?
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SPEAKER_04: Hey, everybody. How's it going?
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SPEAKER_04: Woo!
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SPEAKER_04: I'm happy to be with you guys tonight.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you for being here.
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SPEAKER_04: I sure do appreciate it.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you very much.
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SPEAKER_04: We're going to have a little fun.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you kindly.
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SPEAKER_12: So let's see, do you want to take some phone numbers or questions?
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SPEAKER_12: Thank you for calling, Central New York.
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SPEAKER_12: I'm not going to help you.
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SPEAKER_04: Hi, how are you doing?
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SPEAKER_11: Doing well.
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SPEAKER_11: How can I help you?
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, what kind of store is this?
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SPEAKER_11: Essentially yours is an adult novelty store.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay.
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SPEAKER_04: Is your store organized?
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SPEAKER_11: Yes.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay.
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SPEAKER_04: And the staff members, are you eager to help?
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SPEAKER_08: Yes.
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SPEAKER_08: Yes.
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SPEAKER_08: any questions when you come in? Yes, we can help you.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, so you're knowledgeable? Great.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: Do you have wands in stock?
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SPEAKER_08: Yes, we do.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, are they clean?
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SPEAKER_11: We receive them straight for the manufacturer, and they go to the sales floor, so yes, they are.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, so you don't rent them?
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SPEAKER_01: No.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, so are any of them double, double, or, or any of them triple, or double, or double, or double, or double, or double?
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SPEAKER_04: or double, or double, or, or double, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or.
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SPEAKER_04: the wands that you sell?
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SPEAKER_04: You know what I'm saying?
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SPEAKER_04: What do you have in stock?
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SPEAKER_06: God took me to the bedroom and laid down, and he held me, and somehow it was like all of heaven was open to me.
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SPEAKER_06: Somehow, I started to see God.
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SPEAKER_06: Well, somehow, as the son of God holding me.
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SPEAKER_08: I treated these two naked witnesses with the same respect as if I'd been
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SPEAKER_08: An MD who was doing surgery.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, so I'll be there within the hour.
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SPEAKER_04: Sound good, I'm good, I'm good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, thank you, thank you.
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SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
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SPEAKER_04: Take care of yourself.
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SPEAKER_04: All right, take care.
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SPEAKER_04: All right, everybody.
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SPEAKER_04: Hi.
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SPEAKER_06: This means literally, physically naked.
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SPEAKER_04: So if anybody's got something.
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SPEAKER_04: You know, I'm happy to talk to you here tonight.
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SPEAKER_04: Certainly am.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, I certainly.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: What's on tap?
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SPEAKER_04: What's on tap?
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SPEAKER_04: What's on tap tonight?
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SPEAKER_04: People of New York.
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SPEAKER_12: We've got someone coming up right now.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay.
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SPEAKER_00: Hey, how's it going?
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SPEAKER_00: Big fan.
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SPEAKER_00: I have a question about a, hey, all right.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
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SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
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SPEAKER_00: The guy that you call in the motels consistently, who, you know, the weird guy, how did you keep getting in touch with him at different places?
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, wow.
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SPEAKER_00: You know, the guy I'm talking about, that guy.
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SPEAKER_04: Hello?
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, hi.
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SPEAKER_04: What store is this?
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SPEAKER_02: Bucci and Bird.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, hey, man.
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SPEAKER_04: You guys got any up, Chuck, up, bar?
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SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, the David Donoruma you're talking about, the interloper, I think.
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SPEAKER_04: He would come into my work.
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SPEAKER_04: Excuse me, what you wanted?
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SPEAKER_04: Hey, I was looking for some upchuk up.
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SPEAKER_13: Upchuk?
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SPEAKER_04: Yes, sir.
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None: Hold on.
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SPEAKER_04: No.
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SPEAKER_04: No, no, no.
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SPEAKER_04: And anyway, he didn't belong there.
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SPEAKER_04: He just came in and harassed me, and I, uh,
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SPEAKER_04: you know, it was a business transaction he was trying to do without paying.
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SPEAKER_04: So I did have his number in a hotel, and there you go.
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SPEAKER_04: And then after I left that job, it occurred to me one day, you know what?
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SPEAKER_04: If I call the voicemail, I bet you who he's in there.
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SPEAKER_04: So I logged into my old company's voicemail, and sure enough, he was in there with a new hotel number,
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SPEAKER_04: and I called him again.
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SPEAKER_04: Place takeout orders all over the world.
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SPEAKER_04: Hello, is anybody there?
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SPEAKER_03: Hello.
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SPEAKER_03: Hi.
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SPEAKER_11: Hi.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, do you guys have any upchuk up, bar?
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SPEAKER_11: Upchuk.
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SPEAKER_04: Yes, sir.
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SPEAKER_11: What is that?
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SPEAKER_11: Yes.
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SPEAKER_04: Yes.
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SPEAKER_04: Well, it's, well, regurgitation is what it is.
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SPEAKER_11: Yeah, I got some.
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SPEAKER_11: Come on down.
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SPEAKER_04: From a hog, from a pig.
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SPEAKER_04: I mean, it's for a recipe.
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SPEAKER_04: So you guys sell urine and blood and things like that?
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SPEAKER_04: Can I get that from you?
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SPEAKER_11: Yeah, I'll sell anything.
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SPEAKER_11: Sure.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, really?
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SPEAKER_11: Come on by.
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SPEAKER_11: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_11: Okay.
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SPEAKER_04: Do you have semen up up at all?
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SPEAKER_11: Yeah, semen's extra, though.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, how much am I looking for for, like, a half a gallon, gallon?
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SPEAKER_11: Are you going to make eye contact or not?
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SPEAKER_04: Eye contact?
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SPEAKER_04: Well, I'm willing to pay cash or master charge.
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SPEAKER_11: Cool. So, yeah, I mean, we cut you a deal if you make eye contact while we deliver the semen.
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SPEAKER_04: Well, if you're trying to be cute.
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SPEAKER_04: I mean, this is a serious recipe I'm trying to cook, guy, and that's what it calls for.
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SPEAKER_11: Yeah, what's the recipe called?
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SPEAKER_04: It doesn't have a name, but it looks real good in the picture.
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SPEAKER_04: Cool.
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SPEAKER_04: It's an over 21 magazine.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay.
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SPEAKER_11: Nice.
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SPEAKER_11: Overall of age here, so yeah, you want to come down and collect all these bodily fluids.
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SPEAKER_11: We got you.
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SPEAKER_04: Got to run.
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SPEAKER_04: Hi, everybody.
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SPEAKER_04: Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
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SPEAKER_04: So I hope that answers your question about the interloper there.
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SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
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SPEAKER_04: Nice.
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SPEAKER_04: Yes.
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SPEAKER_04: Yes.
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SPEAKER_08: Yes.
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SPEAKER_08: I'm very sensitive what God says to.
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SPEAKER_08: me, and I must obey my father's instructions.
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SPEAKER_04: So, yeah, I think he's no longer with us, but it was fun while it lasted.
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SPEAKER_12: Does anyone else have any questions?
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SPEAKER_12: Yes, yes.
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SPEAKER_08: I swear it.
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SPEAKER_08: Hello, Butcher, Berg.
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SPEAKER_04: Hey, Butcher?
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SPEAKER_08: Yes.
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SPEAKER_04: Hey, do you guys have any teeth up there or lips?
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SPEAKER_04: I don't know what you guys sell.
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SPEAKER_11: Teeth or lips?
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SPEAKER_04: Yes, yes, yes.
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SPEAKER_11: Well, we prefer lips, but no teeth.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay.
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SPEAKER_04: What do you got in stock right now?
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SPEAKER_04: I mean, what can I expect to get up there from me?
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SPEAKER_04: What can I expect to get up?
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SPEAKER_04: What can I expect?
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SPEAKER_04: You know, how late are you there, too?
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SPEAKER_04: I was one I'm trying to find out.
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SPEAKER_04: What can I expect?
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SPEAKER_04: How late are you there, too?
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SPEAKER_04: I was what I'm trying to find out.
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SPEAKER_04: We're here pretty late.
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SPEAKER_03: I don't need any lips.
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SPEAKER_03: I'm from you.
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SPEAKER_04: You feel me?
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SPEAKER_04: I don't need any of them.
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SPEAKER_04: I don't need any lip.
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SPEAKER_04: Are you reading me, guy?
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SPEAKER_03: Are you reading me, guys?
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SPEAKER_00: feel me?
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SPEAKER_04: Hello?
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SPEAKER_04: Are you reading me, guy?
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SPEAKER_04: Are you reading me, guy?
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SPEAKER_04: Are you reading me, guy?
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah?
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SPEAKER_04: You ready to feel my freaking grill?
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SPEAKER_04: You feel me?
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah?
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SPEAKER_04: You ready to meet my freaking lip?
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SPEAKER_13: Sure, why not?
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SPEAKER_04: You're ready to meet my freaking lip?
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SPEAKER_04: You feel me?
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah?
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SPEAKER_04: You're ready to take a big old freaking sip.
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SPEAKER_04: You feel me?
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: You're ready to take a big old phrase?
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
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SPEAKER_04: People of New York.
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SPEAKER_04: How's it going tonight?
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SPEAKER_03: People of New York.
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SPEAKER_04: How's it going tonight?
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SPEAKER_12: I think we've got time for a couple more.
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SPEAKER_04: Excellent.
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SPEAKER_04: Just what I wanted to hear.
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SPEAKER_04: We've got a phone number coming up for you.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, really?
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SPEAKER_04: When can I expect that to arrive?
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SPEAKER_04: Hello?
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SPEAKER_04: Hello?
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SPEAKER_04: Hello?
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SPEAKER_02: Hi.
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SPEAKER_02: Hi.
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SPEAKER_02: Hi.
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SPEAKER_04: All right.
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SPEAKER_02: Hello, Conan.
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SPEAKER_02: Butcher's your shop?
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SPEAKER_02: This is Hamilton.
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SPEAKER_04: Hey, Hamilton.
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SPEAKER_04: How are you doing that?
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SPEAKER_02: Really good.
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SPEAKER_04: Hey, do you guys sell any upchuck at all up there?
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SPEAKER_02: You're looking for Chuck round?
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_02: We do on occasion.
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SPEAKER_02: We haven't had it for a little while.
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SPEAKER_02: I don't think any is coming in next week.
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SPEAKER_04: How about any blood or urine at all?
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SPEAKER_04: Do you guys carry anything like that?
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SPEAKER_02: Sometimes the blood.
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SPEAKER_04: What am I looking at on like a half gallon or a gallon, if you could put that together for me?
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SPEAKER_02: I think, well, right now, the only blood is probably coming out of sack and save.
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SPEAKER_02: I don't know if I'm probably sack and save.
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SPEAKER_02: Okay.
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SPEAKER_02: I think sack and save would be your best bet for blood, a little local grocery store.
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SPEAKER_02: We're not getting any local right now.
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SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes.
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SPEAKER_04: Did you guys have any lips up on?
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SPEAKER_02: No.
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SPEAKER_04: From a cow?
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SPEAKER_04: Or from a pig?
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SPEAKER_02: No, none.
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SPEAKER_04: What are you making?
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, Jambalaya.
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SPEAKER_02: You might be able to get a whole pig at Costco.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, look, they had heads, but I just need the lips.
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SPEAKER_02: No, no pig slaughter on the island right now.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah?
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SPEAKER_02: You got to get the whole kit and caboodle.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you guys got any urine up?
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SPEAKER_02: I think so.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: How much am I looking at on that?
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SPEAKER_02: It depends if it's been aged or not.
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SPEAKER_04: You idiots have any semen at all?
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SPEAKER_02: Same thing, yeah, we do.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, cool, same deal, same deal.
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SPEAKER_04: Do you idiots carry tails or legs at all?
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SPEAKER_02: We have a half a pound of each, probably.
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SPEAKER_04: And how much do you idiots charge up there for that?
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SPEAKER_02: You know, the usual, the usual.
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SPEAKER_04: Hell of a deal, hell of a deal, hell of a deal, hell of a deal, thank you, thank you.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
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SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: Hell of a deal. New York.
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SPEAKER_12: I think we got time for one or two more.
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SPEAKER_04: Outstanding.
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SPEAKER_04: We've been talking to Hawaiian meat markets and adult bookstores tonight.
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SPEAKER_04: Let's see if we can keep this train or rolling here.
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SPEAKER_04: We'll keep the train of rolling.
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SPEAKER_06: The only way to come.
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SPEAKER_06: the resolution in your life is to be naked before God.
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SPEAKER_07: Nonstop.
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SPEAKER_04: Hello?
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SPEAKER_07: Hello, nonstop.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, do you guys sell kegs?
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SPEAKER_07: No, we do not carry cakes at all.
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SPEAKER_07: You have to call cake liquors.
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SPEAKER_04: No, I don't.
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SPEAKER_07: No, you have to call cake liquors.
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SPEAKER_07: They have cakes.
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SPEAKER_04: I don't have to do anything, Guy.
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SPEAKER_04: What do you think of that for a bunch of good news?
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SPEAKER_07: I'm sorry, we do not carry kegs.
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SPEAKER_04: Well, you better start.
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SPEAKER_04: You feel me?
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SPEAKER_07: No, because we think we can't.
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SPEAKER_04: Well, get busy.
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SPEAKER_04: Get started.
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SPEAKER_04: What are you waiting for?
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SPEAKER_07: Bye.
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SPEAKER_12: All right. We've got a number here for you.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah?
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SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's true.
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SPEAKER_04: Are you going to begin reading it?
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SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's 408-2808.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, thank you.
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SPEAKER_04: Who is this person?
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SPEAKER_01: His name's Diego.
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SPEAKER_01: He works at a wine store.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay.
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SPEAKER_04: Let's do it to it.
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SPEAKER_04: Diego.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, here we go.
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SPEAKER_04: This is Diego, everybody.
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SPEAKER_04: Give a warm welcome to Diego.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
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SPEAKER_13: Hello?
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SPEAKER_04: Hey, Diego.
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SPEAKER_13: Yes.
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SPEAKER_04: Hey, what's up?
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SPEAKER_13: Oh, you know, just living in, loving, and yourself?
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SPEAKER_04: This is Jock.
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SPEAKER_13: Hey, Jack. What's going on?
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SPEAKER_04: Feeling good. Feeling real freaking good.
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SPEAKER_04: A couple quick questions for you.
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SPEAKER_13: All right, lay them on me.
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SPEAKER_04: I really fouled up my finger, something fierce.
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SPEAKER_04: Could you do me a solid and slip some socks on my feet here tonight, or?
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SPEAKER_13: We can try.
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SPEAKER_13: try, that's for sure.
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SPEAKER_04: You know, I'm that guy you've probably seen around the neighborhood.
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SPEAKER_04: I got a big brush in my back pocket I carry around, you know?
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SPEAKER_04: Brush my hair.
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SPEAKER_13: Yeah, I think.
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SPEAKER_13: I might have seen you.
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SPEAKER_13: I might have seen you once and twice.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm sure you have.
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SPEAKER_04: I'm sure you have.
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SPEAKER_04: I'm sure you've given it a lot of thought, too, after hours, if you know where I'm going with that.
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SPEAKER_04: But would you be willing to apply a little moose into my scalp,
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SPEAKER_04: under my hair shaft, working in there, you know what I'm saying, guy?
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SPEAKER_09: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
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SPEAKER_04: Uh, are you with me on that, or?
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SPEAKER_08: I am the embodiment of God.
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SPEAKER_08: Yeah, I think so.
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SPEAKER_08: I'm the embodiment of God.
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SPEAKER_08: I swear it.
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SPEAKER_04: Listen, I've got this new product.
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SPEAKER_04: I bought it off that Suzanne Summers infomercial.
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SPEAKER_04: This is like a base, cosmetics, you know, that kind of stuff.
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SPEAKER_04: Can I just put it on your face and see what it looks like and take a real good look at you?
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SPEAKER_04: I mean, that's something I'd like to get into maybe tomorrow morning if you're free?
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SPEAKER_13: Yeah, what time?
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SPEAKER_04: Well, you know, not too early, 6, 7 a.m.
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SPEAKER_04: Should be good.
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SPEAKER_04: Should be good.
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SPEAKER_13: Okay.
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SPEAKER_13: That sounds pretty good.
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SPEAKER_04: Does that work for you?
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SPEAKER_04: Get you dialed in, get you dialed in?
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SPEAKER_13: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: Brush each other's hair a little bit.
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SPEAKER_04: What do you think?
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SPEAKER_13: I'm definitely, I'm down.
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SPEAKER_13: I'm down.
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SPEAKER_13: You just meet me over here?
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SPEAKER_13: I'll be here.
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SPEAKER_04: I got a poster of Lee Majors we can look at.
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SPEAKER_04: A million dollar man?
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, it's awesome.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, big time.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: It's a jumbo poster, eight feet tall.
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SPEAKER_04: all, he looks awesome in it.
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SPEAKER_04: He does.
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SPEAKER_04: He does.
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SPEAKER_04: It's an absolute fact.
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SPEAKER_04: I tell you something right here,
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SPEAKER_04: and I'm going to talk to you a little bit about it.
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SPEAKER_04: First thing tomorrow, set your alarm.
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SPEAKER_04: Sound good?
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SPEAKER_13: I will, I will.
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SPEAKER_13: Got it right.
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SPEAKER_13: And you have a good night.
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SPEAKER_04: You too.
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SPEAKER_04: Later.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, everybody.
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SPEAKER_12: We can do one more.
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SPEAKER_04: Let's get together.
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SPEAKER_04: Read some new.
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SPEAKER_12: We can do one more.
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SPEAKER_04: Let's get together.
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SPEAKER_04: Let's exchange information.
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SPEAKER_12: All right.
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SPEAKER_12: We've got one coming up right now.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah?
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SPEAKER_04: Sounds hot.
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SPEAKER_05: 615-991.
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SPEAKER_04: What were the last four?
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SPEAKER_04: You're pretty quick.
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SPEAKER_05: 5991.
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SPEAKER_04: 5991.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, that works for me.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
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SPEAKER_04: Who's for Ryan?
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SPEAKER_04: What's the first?
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SPEAKER_05: What's the name?
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SPEAKER_05: Ryan.
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SPEAKER_04: Verizon?
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SPEAKER_04: No, I don't need another carrier.
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SPEAKER_04: What's his name, young lady?
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SPEAKER_04: Ryan.
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SPEAKER_04: Ryan.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay, good.
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SPEAKER_04: Hello?
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, Ryan.
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SPEAKER_03: Yes.
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SPEAKER_04: Is this Ryan?
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SPEAKER_03: Yes, it is.
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SPEAKER_04: Huh, that doesn't sound like you.
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SPEAKER_10: And who is this?
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SPEAKER_10: It is a defining moment, and God's people are going to be vindicated, and the world is going to be judged.
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SPEAKER_10: It's final.
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SPEAKER_10: You can take that to the bank.
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SPEAKER_10: We're done.
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SPEAKER_10: We're talking about leaving the earth.
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SPEAKER_04: You got me?
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SPEAKER_10: Okay.
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SPEAKER_10: Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: First thing tomorrow morning.
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SPEAKER_04: Get your fishing rod and your hairbrush and meet me outside and we'll put our forces together.
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SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
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SPEAKER_12: I'm not sure.
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SPEAKER_04: Stick your chin up towards the sky and wait for salvation kind of thing.
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SPEAKER_04: Bright and early tomorrow.
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SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you think so?
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SPEAKER_12: With fishing?
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SPEAKER_04: Well, that comes later.
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SPEAKER_04: You know, you'll find out about it after I do.
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SPEAKER_04: Not before.
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SPEAKER_04: You got me straight there, Ryan?
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SPEAKER_04: Because.
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SPEAKER_04: I'm leading the chair here.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, big time.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, really?
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: So I'll get with you about 6, 7 a.m.
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SPEAKER_04: I'll brush your hair, make sure you're presentable.
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SPEAKER_04: Sound good?
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SPEAKER_03: Okay.
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SPEAKER_03: Sounds great.
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SPEAKER_03: You're tough, tough, tough, tough.
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SPEAKER_03: Oh, big time.
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SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: Hey, did you want to maybe come by and look at my posters?
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SPEAKER_04: I got a Jacqueline Smith poster.
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SPEAKER_04: Jacqueline Smith.
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SPEAKER_04: Real nice.
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SPEAKER_04: About eight feet tall poster I got.
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SPEAKER_04: from the 70s?
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SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
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SPEAKER_04: Take a good look at it.
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SPEAKER_04: Take a real good look at it.
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SPEAKER_04: She's got a helmet on, but trust me, she looks good, dude.
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SPEAKER_04: Good.
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SPEAKER_12: Oh, yeah?
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_12: What are the kind of posters you got?
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SPEAKER_04: Hot stuff.
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SPEAKER_04: Hot stuff.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, well, you know, I got some different things.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: Got that lady from Sesame Street, but it was before she was on Sesame Street.
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SPEAKER_04: Real different.
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SPEAKER_04: We're going to get real different tomorrow, buddy.
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SPEAKER_04: And we'll watch some electric company, all right?
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SPEAKER_04: Some reruns.
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SPEAKER_04: I would love to.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, good.
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SPEAKER_04: I'll see you then.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_04: Oh, uh-huh.
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SPEAKER_04: Bye-bye.
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SPEAKER_04: That was Ryan, everybody.
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SPEAKER_04: Ah, hot stuff.
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SPEAKER_04: We're getting retro.
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SPEAKER_12: I think that's going to do it for us.
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SPEAKER_04: You guys, thank you on a serious note.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you so, so much for being here tonight.
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SPEAKER_04: I can't believe it.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
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SPEAKER_04: You guys rule.
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SPEAKER_04: Seriously.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
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SPEAKER_04: It's freaking awesome.
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SPEAKER_04: And thank you, Thomas.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you, everybody, once again.
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SPEAKER_04: Have a fun night.
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SPEAKER_04: Have some fun.
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SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
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SPEAKER_04: Take good care.
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SPEAKER_04: Okay.
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SPEAKER_04: Bye.